09/11/2026
I remember when I was a teenager and really struggling with my mental health.
After our family’s car accident and the sudden, traumatic loss of one of the pillars of our family, I was dealing with some pretty severe depression. I finally got help from a doctor and started antidepressants.
After the appointment, I was told I needed to let my father know what was going on.
So I went into his room, poured my heart out, told him how badly I was struggling, explained that I had gotten help and that I was starting medication.
His response?
“You just need to start running. Runner’s high will make you feel so much better.”
Reader, I did not start running.
In fact, if running was supposed to cure my depression, things were about to get real bleak because I still hate running to this day.
But I also never went to my father about my mental health again.
And THAT is the part that matters.
Because when someone finally works up the courage to tell you they’re struggling, your response matters.
I had just made myself incredibly vulnerable and shared something deeply painful. What I needed was someone to listen. Instead, my depression was reduced to something that apparently could be fixed with a pair of sneakers and some cardio.
That moment taught me not to bring my mental health (or anything) to him again.
And that’s why how we respond matters so much.
When someone tells you they’re struggling, you don’t need to fix them, tell them that other people have it worse, remind them to exercise, get outside, think positively, be grateful, eat better, or “just try” to feel differently. And you definitely don’t need to explain why they shouldn’t feel the way they feel.
Just fu***ng listen.
Tell them you’re glad they told you.
Ask, “Do you want me to listen, help you figure something out, or just sit with you?”
Ask what they need.
And then check on them again.
You will probably never have the perfect thing to say. And that’s OKAY.
You just need to make sure your response doesn’t become the reason they’re afraid to say it again.
