06/08/2026
A friend recently asked me a question along these lines: what do I do when I get hit with waves of depression or anxiety—especially when trying to “think my way out of it” seems to make things worse?
In my experience, I think there are two broad kinds of depression: circumstantial and chemical.
The only kind I’ve really experienced is circumstantial depression. It comes when life falls apart, when loss hits, when relationships break, when disappointment settles in. In those seasons, I feel it deeply. But I’ve learned not to panic when it comes. I try to recognize that what I’m feeling is connected to something real that has happened, and that it won’t last forever. So I give myself permission to feel it rather than fight it. I don’t rush past it or try to force myself out of it. I sit in it, and I wait, trusting that even the heaviest clouds eventually begin to lift.
Chemical depression is a different animal altogether. It isn’t necessarily tied to a specific event or circumstance. It shows up uninvited, even when life looks fine on the outside. For those who live with it, “waiting it out” is often not enough. It typically requires support, medication, and therapy.
Both forms are real. Both are painful. Both deserve deep compassion. And although they can often overlap, they are not exactly the same, and therefore it’s important not to confuse them or assume that what helps one person will help another. Our experiences are not interchangeable, and neither are the paths toward healing.
Although I’ve only lived inside one of those categories, I’ve had plenty of experience walking with people who suffer from both, and I’ve learned enough to know how careful we need to be with each other’s pain.
More often than not, we don’t need quick instruction as much as we need quiet understanding—someone willing to sit with what we’re actually carrying without rushing to fix it, explain it, or minimize it.
