Sparks Therapy + Wellness

Sparks Therapy + Wellness Offering holistic mental health support for neurodivergent humans via telehealth everywhere in Ohio. I'm EMDR trained and a registered yoga teacher.

Hey, I'm Laurie and I've always been drawn to other humans who march to the beat of their own drum and approach support through a trauma-informed, neurodivergent, gender-affirming, and culturally sensitive lens. I aim to meet people where they're at and help clients to build a life that's meaningful to them.

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1U5SytsmN5/Truth! "Lowering demands for the children often means the demand on the pare...
04/20/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1U5SytsmN5/
Truth! "Lowering demands for the children often means the demand on the parent skyrockets."

Being a single parent in a household where everyone is PDA* means I understand - but it also means I carry it all.
        
One parent. Three children. All of us wired with the same demand-avoidant nervous system.
        
It’s a unique mix.

It means I understand my kids on a level that professionals often don’t. I see the hidden struggle behind the refusals, the shutdowns, the meltdowns.
        
But it also means this:

When I lower demands for my children - to keep them safe, to keep connection, to reduce anxiety - the demand doesn’t disappear.

It shifts. And it lands on me.
        
Every bath or shower that they need support to overcome.

Every meal that becomes “whatever they can manage.”

Every outing we cancel.

Every negotiation to enable them to brush their teeth.
        
It all adds up.

And the exponential demand on me as a parent sometimes feels overwhelming.
        
This is the part we often don’t talk about enough.

That in a PDA household, lowering demands for the child often means raising them for the parent.
        
And for single parents like me?

There’s no buffer. No partner to share the weight.
Just me.
        
I’m not sharing this for pity. I’m sharing it because I know so many of you are quietly holding this reality too.
        
It may feel just as heavy with a partner at home as often our young people tend to over-attach to just one carer, or we may just be doing more than the other person as sometimes relationships aren’t balanced.
        
When everyone in the household are PDA - or they are neurodivergent however that looks - it can mean that we are often burnt out trying to balance our own needs amongst the needs of the entire family.
        
It’s a message we need to share with others so that they can be there for us, listen with empathy and hopefully provide the right support and understanding when we need it.
        
If you see a parent who is struggling, please don’t judge.
        
You don’t know what they might be carrying.

Please do share if this speaks to you. ❤️

*PDA = Pathological Demand Avoidance (an autistic profile)
        

Yep...our pets are that important:
04/15/2026

Yep...our pets are that important:

Autistic people often process information differently, and grief is no exception. Here are tips for navigating grief as an autistic person.

04/15/2026

This year, on PDA Awareness Week, we’re coming together globally around one message: We See You.

- We see PDAers navigating a world that often misunderstands them.
- We see families advocating every day.
- We see professionals working to do better.

To celebrate PDA Day, we’ve put together a day-long fundraiser event that is completely free to attend, will be recorded, and will be made available to all who register.

Join us on PDA Day (May 13) for:
- A full day of FREE live discussions with various PDA experts including a GLOBAL conversation with PDA advocates in UK, Germany, Denmark, Hungary, South Africa and Belgium!
- Live conversations with various PDA experts and advocates including Amanda Diekman, PDA Society's CEO Ed Archer, Lindsay Flanagan, PJ Starling, Sarah Wayland , Helen Lowery and more!
- A day of giving to support PDA information, resources, and training
- 50% off our Learning Lab for one day only

This is a day to feel seen, and to help others feel seen too.

Comment "PDA day" and we'll DM you the link to RSVP for this free global community event!

We're so glad you're here! 💛

04/02/2026

Why Even “Fun” or “Kind” Requests Can Trigger Threat

This one confuses people.
“But it’s a fun activity.”
“I said it nicely.”
“They love this usually.”
Yes.
And it can still trigger threat.

Because the trigger isn’t the content of the request.

It’s the loss of control embedded inside it.

Even a kind suggestion can carry:
• An expectation
• A timeline
• An outcome
• A shift in control

The PDA nervous system is exquisitely sensitive to perceived coercion.

It scans for:
Who holds the power?
Who decides?
Is there escape?

If the answer feels like “not me,” the body reacts.

This is why partnership language, curiosity, and genuine choice aren’t “soft parenting.”

They are nervous system tools.

🌻

03/27/2026

DORSAL REST: The Most Important Polyvagal State for Coping with On-Going Trauma

In basic introductions to polyvagal theory, we learn about 3 nervous system states - safe and social, fight/flight, and freeze/shutdown. The safe and social state involves the Ventral Vagus nerve, the fight/flight state involves high activation of the sympathetic nervous system, and the freeze/shutdown state involves high activation of the Dorsal Vagus nerve.

From this simplistic explanation, it is easy to assume that engagement of the Dorsal Vagus nerve is something to be avoided. I have received emails asking “Is Dorsal the bad one?” and “What can I do to get out of Dorsal activation?”

I realize that some of the ways I have presented polyvagal info in the past contributed to this misunderstanding, and many of the sources I have referred people to have further solidified this false idea that Dorsal is bad.

In this post, I want to honor the Dorsal Vagus for its fantastic ability to multi-task, and I hope that by the end, perhaps your view of this nerve will have shifted.

DORSAL REST is a state of dorsal vagus activation that is supported by ventral vagus activation. The activation of the ventral vagus moderates the activity of the dorsal, so that the body system does not go into a freeze/shutdown state.

In this mixed state, we feel low energy or immobilization that is tolerable and not distressing. This state allows the body to rest and rebuild after injury, to properly digest food and absorb nutrition, to access meditative or spiritual states, and to sleep. With the help of the ventral vagus, the dorsal vagus offers us restoration, rejuvenation, and healing.

This is possibly the most important vagal state to know about for long-term trauma recovery, for long-haul covid recovery, and for coping with sysemic traumas that push us towards burnout. Our bodies require regular activation of the dorsal vagus to heal from normal wear and tear and more frequent activation of the dorsal vagus to heal from trauma.

When we run on high tone sympathetic energy for a long time (months to years), our adrenal resources become depleted. When we eventually crash, we flip from high energy anxiety and hypervigilence to exhaustion and loss of interest in high energy activities. If we cannot access safety at this point, we will become depressed, and the depression will last until we are able to access a sense of safety or refuge somewhere.

Sometimes the stories we tell ourselves or each other about being low energy are the biggest danger cues in our environment. Our society has labeled being low energy as lazy, incompetent, childish, and dysfunctional. When our self-talk is blaming or shaming us for being low energy, our bodies are less capable of using that low energy time for healing. Self-talk is of course not our only barrier to safety, but it is one of the few that is within our control.

Embracing Dorsal Rest has allowed me to better cope with PMDD, a cyclical type of depression that involves severe mood drops just before my period. Those 5-7 days each month still suck, but they suck a little less now that I understand low energy phases are a natural and normal part of my body’s self-healing process. I find that shifting my self-talk changes my experience of how distressing these low energy phases are for me. Thus I have been trying to reframe “sickness behaviors” as “healing behaviors.”

Here is my current list of 100% healthy “healing behaviors” which I find necessary when I am immobilized by my Dorsal Vagus…

Nesting & Naps
Comfort Food
Time and Space Alone
Low energy activities - listening to music, watching Netflix, reading, coloring, meditation, visualizations, breathwork, prayer, yin yoga, constructive rest, visiting with internalized others (inner mentor, inner child, etc)
Sensory Defences - shades drawn, headphones on, humidifier, soft blankets, temp set to a comfy range, etc etc
Doing “nothing” - day dreaming, spacing out, losing time

If I shame myself for any of these, I quickly find myself out of DORSAL REST and into DORSAL FREEZE.

I hope that this post gives you some permission to be slow and restful and know that this is exactly what your body needs.

Do you want to add something to this list? What other traditional “sickness behaviors” would you name as healthy and healing?
📆This text was first shared in 2021. PMDD is not part of my experience after HRT but I still use this list for other chronic illness flares.

📚 Free Infographics about Trauma, Nervous System, and Neurodiversity: linktr.ee/TraumaGeek
🧠 Blog: https://www.traumageek.com/blog
🌠 Want to learn more with me? 50 Vagus Exercises in a Year starts next month! This adventure includes short vagus exercises videos every month, a live zoom Q&A session each month, and several more ways to learn with me. Last year we had about 400 people participate!
Details here: traumageek.thinkific.com/courses/50-vagus-exercises-in-a-year-two

03/26/2026
Worth a listen:
03/21/2026

Worth a listen:

might be the best explanation of burnout you haven’t heard before.For a long time, I thought my fatigue was about being too s...

03/15/2026

A cat does not ask for eye contact. Does not raise its voice. Does not expect a verbal response. It simply arrives and stays. For autistic children, that is not a small thing. That is everything.

Researchers at the University of Missouri conducted the first randomized study specifically on cat adoption in families of autistic children, led by Dr. Gretchen Carlisle and published in the Journal of Pediatric Nursing. Families were given a temperament-screened shelter cat and followed for 18 weeks. The results were striking for a study of this kind. Children showed significant increases in empathy scores, measurable reductions in separation anxiety, and fewer problem behaviors including bullying and hyperactivity. Parents and children both reported strong bonds with the cats that formed almost immediately after adoption and remained strong throughout the entire study period. Dr. Carlisle noted that cats screened for calm temperament may be particularly well suited for children on the spectrum.

A separate peer-reviewed study on pets and autistic children found that positive engagement with a pet was associated with higher scores on the prosocial behavior scale, including being more considerate of others' feelings and sharing more readily with other children. Researchers described pets as providing a form of social practice that is genuinely accessible to autistic children because the animal imposes no neurotypical social expectations in return. No eye contact required. No performance expected. Just presence. And for children who communicate differently, that presence appears to be quietly building something remarkable.

01/06/2025

Autism is often described as a dynamic disability. Our sensory systems fluctuate and while we might be able to cope with something one day, the next day could be different.

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