06/05/2026
Managing the Medicine Bar has turned out to be one of the most unexpected spiritual practices of my life.
Apparently the Universe looked at all the areas where I thought, “Yep, got that lesson. Healed that one. Graduated from that curriculum,” and said, “That’s adorable.”
Today I’ve been processing the difference between self-serving and self-containment.
For years I’ve taught the importance of taking care of yourself. Put your own oxygen mask on first. Stop abandoning yourself. Learn how to honor your needs. All of that still feels true.
But life has a funny way of taking a teaching you understand intellectually and inviting you to live it at a much deeper level.
When you create something beautiful, people naturally want to gather around it. That’s what community is. That’s what we’ve hoped for. Christy LeCuyer built this space with such a generous heart. She wanted a place where people could land, connect, belong, and exhale. A place where wellness wasn’t exclusive or performative. A place where everyone was welcome.
And yet, if I’m being honest, I’ve noticed this protective instinct showing up in me.
I notice the moments when someone wants something from the space. From the business. From Christy. From the energy we’ve poured into creating it.
I can feel myself tightening.
I start keeping score of withdrawals.
Who’s giving?
Who’s taking?
Who’s contributing?
Who’s consuming?
And that’s where things get interesting.
Because underneath that reaction is a question I’m still exploring:
Am I witnessing someone being self-serving?
Or am I being asked to become more self-contained?
Those are not the same thing.
Self-serving says, “How do I get what I need regardless of the impact on others?”
Self-contained says, “I can honor what I need without making someone else responsible for carrying it.”
One takes.
One stands on its own two feet.
And if I’m really honest, I can see both energies in myself at times.
Sometimes my protectiveness is wisdom.
Sometimes it’s fear.
Sometimes it’s discernment.
Sometimes it’s my own scarcity being activated.
The Medicine Bar keeps holding up the mirror.
Not to show me where I’m failing, but to show me where I’m still growing.
So, instead of asking whether someone else is taking too much, I’m trying to ask a different question:
Am I being self-serving right now, or am I simply learning how to contain myself?
It’s a much less comfortable question.
And probably a much more useful one.
