09/30/2023
𝕎𝕙𝕪 𝕊𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕔 𝔼𝕩𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕚𝕟𝕘?
Today marks 1 year since I found out the answer of a 5 year terror journey - mold intoxication. (whole different post about advocating for self and your fam)
In 2017 it took me 3 full days to realize I was experiencing severe nervous system symptoms, not flu, not body lethargy, not something completely physical. This was 9 years into working in mental health. My somatic symptoms escalated and changed throughout the years from panic to whole night terrors, palpitations, claustrophobia, completely collapsed but also hyperactivated...the list goes on.
Yes, my medical issues were complex and the threat was internal but the way my nervous system responded was deep and probably the response of a system tired of holding on to different traumas and defense patterns. I did not know how to deal with these with all my experience. There was nothing that was stopping them, I just had to ride the waves. The problem with that is that the body keeps the score - every experience conditioned it for reacting the same in the next situations: every period, every office, every airplane, every hotel...too small, too wide, too high... everything was a threat. And I was going mad! My body was in survival mode and I was a therapist, a functioning mom of two and running a whole successful business. (again a different post about female productivity)
The day I discovered Somatic Experiencing and started therapy was the day I changed my way of looking at the nervous system, at my lifestyle, at therapy in general. The support of my therapist and the SE community was half the battle, I felt safe, I had some answers and modalities that worked!
Even with medical issues (chronic pain, miscarriages, hormonal issues etc) working on the capacity of your nervous system gives you back the power! SE helped me restructure my system, release trapped traumas and complete defense instincts in the face of illness and every day stress.
Somatic Experiencing touched not just my journey towards healing but everyone's I work with and who they come into contact with!
