08/31/2026
Yesterday was National Grief Awareness Day, and I wanted to continue the conversation because grief does not always look like crying.
Sometimes it looks like being irritated, staying busy, forgetting things, pulling away from people, feeling tired all the time, or continuing to take care of everybody else while you are quietly trying to hold yourself together.
For Black women, grief can also get wrapped up in this idea that we have to be strong. We still go to work, take care of our families, show up for people, laugh, lead, and keep things moving. That does not mean we are not grieving. Sometimes it just means we have learned how to function while carrying a lot.
Research around grief, bereavement, and the Strong Black Woman and Superwoman Schema shows that grief can affect our sleep, appetite, focus, energy, emotions, and relationships. Research with Black women has also looked at how strength, caring for others, suppressing emotions, and not feeling comfortable being vulnerable can shape how we move through difficult experiences.
So if your grief does not look like what you thought grief was supposed to look like, that does not make it any less real. Pay attention to what your mind and body may be telling you, and remember that you deserve care too.
Research informed by the National Institutes of Health Clinical Center, peer reviewed bereavement research with African American women, and Dr. Cheryl Woods Giscombé’s research on the Superwoman Schema.
