Routine Break

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Routine Break Breaking destructive routines to unlock recovery, identity, growth, and freedom. Addiction | Porn | Food | Gambling | Anxiety | Tech | Unhealthy habit

10/23/2026

Did you know we can become addicted to starting over…? I’ve been thinking about something when it comes to human behavior… We talk a whole lot about fresh starts, new beginnings, turning the page, and getting ourselves back on track, and while there’s absolutely nothing wrong with beginning again, I wonder how often we stop to examine WHY we keep finding ourselves at another beginning… Breaking down problems, finding root cause and correcting the problem is why I get paid the big bucks (as they say), I’m good at what I do... I have found myself over the years applying this to life…

This for example, if we peel it back and break this down, we can see our human behavior could be that starting over can feel like progress... And there’s absolute excitement in making a new commitment, relief in leaving yesterday behind, and even a sense of accomplishment in deciding that this time things will be different, but making a decision to change and actually participating in that change are two entirely different things… Sometimes we become so comfortable with the emotional reward of a fresh start that we never develop the discipline required to continue after that excitement disappears, that is an uncomfortable truth... We love the feeling of making a commitment, but struggle with the responsibility of honoring it when nobody is watching, when the motivation fades, or when the results aren’t arriving as quickly as we expected… I can say we have all been guilty of this at some degree… And before we know it, starting over becomes a familiar routine of its own…

And we’re back at it, convincing ourselves that Monday will be different, next month will be different, or the next opportunity will finally be the one that changes everything… Yet we rarely stop long enough to question what happened to the commitment we made the last time… I’m guilty of this too, and that’s why discipline is so very important… Now, understand something… Not every restart is avoidance… Life happens, circumstances change, and sometimes beginning again is exactly what growth requires… But there’s a difference between recovering from a setback and repeatedly using a fresh start to escape the responsibility of continuing… We don’t always need another beginning… Maybe we stop abandoning the progress we’ve already made… Perhaps that’s something we need to examine more closely… Are we actually committed to changing our behavior, or have we become more committed to the feeling of deciding we’re going to change?…

A new beginning can introduce change, but it cannot do the work of change for you… Believe me, I was once there… At some point, you have to become just as committed to continuing as you were excited about starting…

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10/18/2026

I’m sitting here thinking, and this notion (Our intentions can have an excellent publicist) popped into my head, and then I felt the need to write… Think about it though, “Your intentions have an excellent publicist”. It’s interesting how much effort we put into explaining what we meant to do, especially when we’re confronted with what we actually did… We want our intentions considered, our motives understood, and our character judged by what was in our hearts rather than what came out through our behavior, yet we don’t always extend that same consideration to the people whose actions have affected us… We’re always examining someone else… But, how often do we examine OURSELVES?… Your intentions may explain your behavior, but they don’t automatically excuse its impact, and sometimes, the more committed we become to proving that we meant well, the less willing we become to acknowledge that we handled something poorly…

We’ve got to understand there’s a difference between defending who we believe we are and examining who we’re actually being… You can have good intentions and still make poor decisions, just as well, you can care deeply about someone and still treat them carelessly… We can believe we’re doing the right thing while refusing to consider the damage your approach is creating… I say this all the time; personal growth requires the willingness to examine your behavior without using your intentions as a character witness……… At some point, what you meant to do has to answer to what you actually did… it always does…

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10/05/2026

Yesterday we talked about chaos becoming a routine… but there’s another side to that conversation… There are times you didn’t necessarily choose the chaos you learned to live in… Maybe life taught you early how to function when things were uncertain, how to stay alert when everything felt unpredictable, or how to keep moving when there was never much peace around you… Living that way long enough, chaos can stop feeling unusual and simply start feeling familiar… Imagine that, imagine someone not ever knowing peace and when it arrives they don’t know what to do with it… As silly as that may sound, stability can feel strange for many... A healthy relationship can feel boring, a quiet season can make them wonder what’s about to go wrong… not because they beg for chaos, because their routines were built while surviving it… So…….. if this is you, give yourself enough grace to understand where some of your patterns came from, but enough courage to decide they don’t have to keep going where you’re headed...

Maybe….. Just maybe, you don’t need another lesson in surviving chaos… maybe you need enough peace to finally meet yourself without it… Think it’s about time you discover YOUrself….

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10/04/2026

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself, “Why does chaos always seem to follow me? At some point, you have to become curious about the one thing that has been present every time… You…….. That doesn’t mean you are the chaos, but it may mean there is something within you that has become comfortable with it... Something that participates in it, permits it, or simply doesn’t recognize it until you’re standing in the middle of it again… We spend a lot of time studying what keeps happening to us, but real change requires the courage to examine the role we might be playing in what keeps happening… Chaos can become a routine too and if the pattern keeps surviving every change you make around you, maybe the next change has to happen within you...

At some point, you reach a crossroad where the question can no longer remain, “Why does this keep happening to me?” You have to be willing to ask something much harder… “If chaos keeps following me everywhere I go, what if I’m not just experiencing the pattern… what if I’m helping create it?” And if the answer makes you uncomfortable, good… Awareness gives you choice… You can’t interrupt a pattern you refuse to recognize, but once you see your part in it, you no longer have to keep playing that part... You can respond differently, choose differently, set different boundaries, and stop giving the same patterns another place to live… The goal isn’t to blame yourself for every storm you’ve been through... It’s to make sure you’re not unknowingly carrying the storm into every place you go next… Stop being a participant of chaos…… Eventually, what keeps happening has to meet what you’re willing to change…

1% Better. On Purpose. For Purpose.

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09/29/2026

If everything you’re giving is not enough, then offer your absence… There is a difference between giving from who you are and constantly giving in hopes that someone will finally see who you are… At some point, you have to stop increasing the amount of yourself you pour out just to make your value easier for someone else to recognize… You can spend so much time trying to be more present, more understanding, more available, more of whatever seems to be required, that you never stop to ask why everything you already bring keeps being treated like it weighs nothing… Sometimes the answer isn’t to give more, and sometimes you simply stop filling the space…….. Salt is never on the menu, nobody talks about it when it’s there, and rarely does anyone thank it for doing its job…but leave it out, and suddenly everyone knows something is missing…. So remember, your absence doesn’t have to be punishment... Sometimes it’s simply what happens when you finally stop trying to convince someone that your presence has value... And there’s peace in reaching the place where you no longer need their recognition to know what you brought to the table…

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09/28/2026

Consider how hard it is to change yourself, and you’ll understand how foolish it is to think you can change someone else… We can see something in ourselves that needs to change, completely understand why it needs to change, genuinely want it to change… and still struggle with it… That alone should humble us when it comes to other people… You can love someone, speak truth into their life, and be there for them… but their change still belongs to them… Sometimes the hardest thing to change in ourselves is our need to change someone else… There’s humility in finally realizing… you’re still learning how to change, you… That should change the way you look at everyone else…

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09/21/2026

You only owe love…you don’t owe everyone access… Love doesn’t require you to hand someone unrestricted access to your life... You can forgive someone and still recognize that closeness with them is unhealthy... You can pray for someone and still stop answering every call… You can even want good for them without giving them another opportunity to disturb what God has been rebuilding in you... I always be saying this… I think there’s a deeper piece here too…sometimes we confuse being a loving person with being an endlessly available person… They are not the same thing… Jesus told us to love people, even our enemies.. He never taught that everyone should have the same proximity to us... Even Jesus loved everyone, served crowds, taught many, traveled with twelve, and ALLOWED only a FEW into certain intimate moments… Boundaries don’t have to come from bitterness, so be mature about it… Don’t use “boundaries” as a prettier word for holding a grudge, punishing somebody, or trying to make them feel what they did to you… That’s not a boundary, that’s still hurt making decisions… But… there is also maturity in recognizing that loving somebody does not automatically qualify them for closeness… Sometimes you’ve forgiven them, you genuinely want the best for them, there’s no hatred in your heart whatsoever… and you’ve simply learned that they cannot have the same access to you anymore… So… sometimes the distance isn’t bitterness at all, sometimes it’s wisdom…

“Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.”
Matthew 10:16 KJV

09/11/2026

There are reasons, and there are excuses… and maturity is learning the difference… A reason tells me what made it harder, while an excuse tells me why I decided harder meant I didn’t have to do it… That’s where we lose ourselves sometimes… Excuses rarely sound like excuses when they come out of our own mouth, they sound reasonable... They come with history, details, names, circumstances and enough “truth” wrapped around them that we can defend them for years… And maybe everything you’re saying is true, maybe you were dealt a bad hand, somebody did you wrong, you didn’t have the support and possibly you started ten steps behind everybody else… Okay…….. Now what? Eventually the explanation has explained enough… At some point, you’re going to have to ask yourself, “What am I going to do from here?”

Your reason can explain the weight you’re carrying… It just can’t keep becoming your excuse for refusing to move it…

1% Better. On Purpose. For Purpose. 💙

09/02/2026

…. My past pales in comparison to the promise God has for me… But I can believe God has something ahead of me and still choose to be held hostage by what happened behind me… If I’m still holding on to things I caught yesterday, then yesterday might still be holding on to me… That’s why some of us feel like we can’t move forward… We keep asking God for what’s next with hands that are still full of what was… Full of the hurt… Full of what they did… Full of what we did… Full of regret, resentment, shame, disappointment, guilt, memories, unanswered questions, etc etc (FILL IN THE BLANK)… Then what do we do? We say we’re ready for a new season, but every morning we reach down and pick up the same pieces from the old one… Then we pray, “God, give me what You have for me…” But…. how do we receive something with a closed fist?

That’s what holding on does… And eventually, you stop realizing how tightly you’re gripping it… There are things God has for you that require empty hands… And no, your past doesn’t disqualify you… just sometimes receiving what’s next requires releasing what you keep dragging with you… You cannot keep one hand wrapped around yesterday while reaching toward tomorrow with the other and wonder why you never feel completely free… What did Paul say?… Paul said, “forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before…” There’s movement in that… There’s release before there’s reach… And maybe that’s the word for somebody today… You don’t need to understand everything that happened before you put it down… You don’t need an apology from everybody who hurt you… You don’t need another conversation, another explanation, another chance to rewrite the ending… Some things will never make sense enough to make carrying them worth it… And no, open hands isn’t saying what happened is okay, BUT…. it is saying what happened no longer gets to decide what you’re able to receive… So…. Open your hands…

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08/30/2026

I think we’ve made “leveling up” sound a little too exciting….. I say this, because leveling up usually doesn’t feel like you’re going up while you’re doing it… I mean, what’s exciting when leveling up sometimes means losing people you thought would always be there… Sitting at home while everybody else is doing what you used to do… Coming to a realization that a version of you that once kept you comfortable is now the exact version of you that’s keeping you stuck… That’s why I don’t put a whole lot of stock in motivation… Motivation feels amazing when it shows up, but it’s a horrible employee because you never know when it’s coming to work… Discipline however, is different… Discipline says, “I already made this decision, so I’m not asking myself again.”

I believe that’s one of the biggest misunderstandings about “leveling up”… We think the next level is always waiting on us to add something, when sometimes it’s actually waiting on us to remove something… Maybe it isn’t always, “What else do I need to start doing?” Maybe it’s, “What do I finally need to stop allowing?” What still has access to you that shouldn’t? What keeps receiving your time that hasn’t earned it? What habits keep taking something away from the person you say you’re trying to become? What environments keep introducing you to a version of yourself you’re trying to leave behind?… Sometimes the discipline required to level up isn’t found in doing more, it’s found in refusing to keep carrying things that cannot go where you’re trying to go…

Now, that doesn’t mean discipline should turn into punishment… You’re going to have tired days, days when life genuinely hurts, there will even be seasons when simply getting through the day requires more strength than anybody around you realizes… Discipline should never become another weapon you use to beat yourself up, but there is a difference between giving yourself grace and continuously giving yourself permission… Let’s distinguish the two… Grace may say, “Today was hard, so I’m going to recover and continue.” Permission says, “Today was hard, so everything I promised myself is negotiable again.” That difference may look small, but live inside of it long enough and it can completely change the direction of your life…

Leveling up isn’t becoming perfect, it’s becoming somebody you can trust…. so…. when you say you’re going to do something, you begin doing it… When you fall off, you stop turning one bad decision into seven bad days… When you recognize something is destroying your peace, health, relationships, finances, future, or character, you stop asking how much longer you can get away with it and start making a different decision, then you make it again and again, until what once required tremendous discipline eventually becomes part of who you are…

And here’s something else you may have to accept… Everybody isn’t going to understand the changes you make, especially when the old version of you was more convenient for them… Some people benefited from your lack of boundaries, your availability, your bad habits, your need to be accepted, or the fact that you could always be talked back into something you said you were done with… So…….when you start changing, don’t be surprised when somebody calls the change “different” like it’s a bad thing… It is different… That was the point. You can’t keep asking for a different life while protecting everything that created the one you have now… At some point, something has to change, something has to be left behind, something has to lose access, and sometimes that “something” is simply a way of living you’ve outgrown… Leveling up has a cost, but so does staying where you are… Pay attention to which one you’ve been paying for…

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