What is Your Healthy?

09/10/2022

https://drive.google.com/file/d/17hM35wVJ-SiCW64WGU9ASsttHopSWuxE/view?usp=sharing

Thank you Maggie Wyckoff of Natural Health and Wellness Tribe for creating space for me to share my story. Take a listen and send us all your questions and comments. Let's keep talking and .

07/07/2022

Good morning!!! It has been more than a hot minute since I have written a post. I was in the throes of a depressive episode last fall when I switched to a new job that completely upset my order and routine. I didn’t manage the stress of not knowing what I was doing well. I isolated and locked myself away until I had a complete breakdown this spring.

I went on medical leave for ten or so weeks. While on medical leave, I saw a psychiatrist in Savage at River Valley Wellness Center. He evaluated me and officially diagnosed me with bipolar depression. For those of you who have followed my journey for some time, you know that my counselor had me and Ed do some tests and based on those answers it was determined that I had bipolar disorder. She, however, could not officially diagnose me or prescribe meds. She referred me to a psychiatrist. I never went.

Why? Why would I never go? I was scared. This diagnosis frightened me because this is the diagnosis my mom had, and she killed herself. Instead of seeking help, I continued on the cycle of highs and heavy activity followed by burnout and lows accompanied by isolation.

Your next question is probably why did you finally go get help? I finally went and got help because I was more scared of living my life on this cycle than the diagnosis. I wanted to be present in my life and not miss moments with family and friends which has happened a lot especially over the last twenty years.

Am I thrilled that I am taking lithium? NOPE! Is it working? YEP!!! Right now for me all that matters is recovery and remaining stable.

Please take the time to read this article and educate yourself so you can interact with people like me in a positive and healthy manner.

Words are powerful, and when we are careless about them with someone living with bipolar, we can easily shatter self-esteem or motivation for recovery.

10/22/2021

Listen up!!! Our words have power. There were several messages I read yesterday on my birthday that encouraged me and blessed me beyond measure. Thank you to everyone who took time out of their day to call, text, and post me birthday wishes. It did so much good for my soul!!!

Y’all may have noticed I have been a little silent in this space. Why is that?!?!

I have been doubting that I have anything worthwhile to share and that I have told my story so many times that people are sick of it. I have been belittled in my experiences with grief, mental illness, and trauma. I have allowed these past words to haunt me and silence me!!!

I am trusting the Lord to root out the lies and replace them with His truth about me. I am also trusting that by breaking my silence and sharing what is going on in my head someone will be encouraged.

We need to trust the voice of the Lord and that what He says about us is true. We need to trust the people closest in our lives to help us as we battle through the hurts from our past.

Before I have allowed these wounds to shut me down when they were triggered. I will NOT let that happen anymore because I know that is the enemy’s plan. I will NOT stop shining brightly for Jesus, and I will share of all the good things that he has done.

10/19/2021

I have spent a large majority of my life living in fear. Fear of not being good enough! Fear of saying the wrong thing! Fear of hurting the people I care about most! Fear of losing those that I love!
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I am grateful for the reminder that perfect love, the love of my Heavenly Father, casts out all fear. This is GOOD NEWS!
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When fear is attempting to run you down and take over your life, how do you deal with it?

10/13/2021

I distinctly remember the first time I quit because I was overwhelmed. It was the spring semester of my college career. I was getting married three weeks after graduation so I was finalizing wedding details while student teaching. I didn’t feel adequately prepared for student teaching, and I didn’t know how to handle my emotions, so I basically pulled an ostrich move and buried my head in the sand. For those of you who don’t know, this is NOT an effective way to handle overwhelm. The pressure became too much so to relieve the pressure I walked away from student teaching because I wasn’t going to walk away from the love of my life. Instead of graduating with an English major and a secondary education minor, I simply graduated with an English major.

I chalked up the overwhelm, anxious feelings, and struggle to all that I had happening in my life that spring until it happened again at my job a few years later. I started having panic attacks and calling in sick because I couldn’t deal with all the stress and overwhelm at work.

I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with major depressive disorder in my mid-twenties. While it explained my symptoms, it didn’t give me the tools to deal with the overwhelm and all the emotions I was experiencing.

Unfortunately, I did not take the medicine consistently because the side effects made me feel worse than the symptoms so I didn’t experience a lot of healing. However, with anything consistency is key, right?

The ostrich method became my way to deal with things every time my emotions and problems became too hard. Again, this doesn’t work! What it ended up doing was causing hurt in relationships, and I felt like I was never good enough so in the times when I was feeling good, I filled up my calendar with fun events because I never knew when things were going to be bad again. All this did was create a vicious cycle of being present, completely overbooked calendar, feeling overwhelmed, pull away, and feelings of guilt and hopelessness. This cycle has continued for 25 years until this year!

The thing is that even when I disengaged from life I never truly gave up. My spirit was still fighting! I am thankful for this!!!

10/12/2021

Emily Gibson had a LOT of detoxing to do, just like me, but now she too is so SO glad she never gave up!

“I’m so glad I didn’t quit after 30 days. I’m so glad I didn’t quit after 60 days (that’s when I see a lot of people think they’ve given it a “good shot”). Do you see that picture at 60 days 😂? That’s called detox my friends 😂🙌🏻🙈 (aka “it doesn’t feel like this stuff is working anymore and I actually might be feeling worse???). I felt like crapola at 60 days! I wish I would have talked about that more that month.

Man I felt better by the next month 😍❤️. I’m so glad I didn’t think I was all healed up and good to go at 90 days. Did you know the body regenerates new healthy cells every 90 days? And it takes 6 weeks to 6 months to heal the gut . Mmmmhmmmm yep 😍. I’m so glad I kept sharing my story at 4 months...and 5 months...man I wanted to hide under a rock and quit sharing my story at 5 months 😳🙈. But would you look at what happened at 13 months 👀! And now 24 months 😍.

If you think this is another post about before and after weight loss, you’re wrong (although apparently eating chocolate peanut butter ice cream every night was 40 pounds I was carrying around and it actually does make a difference 😂😳). This is is a post about balancing blood sugars, improving gut health (not craving sugar 🍭anymore 😂, sleep working, and not needing naps, and no racing heart ❤️), AND decreasing systemic inflammation. When I look at these, all I see is decreasing INFLAMMATION 😱🎉😍💥‼️ Also, having courage to stand alone, face your fears, and brave the wilderness. It feels so good to be free!”

What is your biggest fear/concern about your health? What is holding you back from being the best version of yourself? 🔥

10/11/2021

These are the faces I make as the end of the year rolls around. It is suppose to be the most wonderful time of the year, but I get bogged down with stress and an overbooked calendar. Who can relate?!?! Anyone?!?! 🙋🏻‍♀️

This year I have made the conscious decision to finish the strong 💪🏻 focusing on small, sustainable changes that can help me get through the holidays without gaining half of the weight I have lost and my sanity intact. The changes are also going to help me keep my focus where it belongs during the holidays, Jesus! 💕

I am so excited to partner with some amazing godly women to bring this challenge to you.
If this challenge sounds like something you want, send me a message, and I will get you connected. 🙌🏻

10/09/2021

You are looking at a girl who is proud of herself for so many reasons. First and foremost, I am proud of the fact that even though I have weathered some very difficult storms in my life I have never given up my faith in Jesus. Jesus is my Lord and Savior; he is my first love, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Second, I feel like I have finally passed a test that I have failed many times. Many things did not go the way I had planned this week. Instead of giving up and quitting, I took breaks, listened to music, and shared my struggles with friends. Then I worked to find a solution to complete my task.

For those of you who don’t know me, I am a recovering perfectionist, so learning to pivot and be flexible is a HUGE win for me!!! 🙌🏻

If you understand what I am talking about, I am sorry! The struggle is most definitely real, but I am here to tell you that there is hope. I would love to connect with you and support you on your .

“Whenever my busy thoughts were out of control, the soothing comfort of your presence calmed me down and overwhelmed me with delight.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭94:19‬ ‭TPT‬‬

10/09/2021

This week has been exhausting!!! Traveling always seems to take it out of me, but the plane ride home on Sunday was more eventful than I have ever experienced. No, we didn’t have any mechanical issues. Instead, we had human issues.
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The people in the row behind me had a huge misunderstanding that escalated in to choice words being said. It was so stressful listening to people argue and swear at one another.
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What happened to taking a deep breath and trying to see the other person’s perspective? What happened to being kind? What happened to if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all? What happened to respect?
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This experience spilled over into my week. I didn’t realize how much this affected me until tonight. I have been emotional and upset off and on all week. Unfortunately my husband has experienced the majority of my wrath.
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Thankfully we were able to talk through everything. It is amazing what a sincere apology and good communication can do.

What do you do to recharge after an emotional and stressful week?