It's a Lifestyle Consulting LLC

It's a Lifestyle Consulting LLC Here at "It's a Lifestyle Consulting LLC" we help individuals and families heal, grow and thrive.

From Life/Relationship Coaching to Marriage and Family Therapy, we create a safe space for transformation, clarity and purpose with confidence.

🌿 Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) 🌿Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complex mental health ...
06/14/2026

🌿 Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) 🌿

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complex mental health condition that impacts how a person experiences emotions, relationships, and their sense of self.

Some common characteristics may include:

Rapid mood shifts that can occur within minutes or hours, often triggered by conflict, rejection, or fears of abandonment.

An intense fear of being left behind or unloved.

Relationships that may fluctuate between idealization and disappointment.

An unstable or changing sense of identity.

Impulsive behaviors, which may include overspending, substance use, risky decisions, or other self-destructive actions.

Persistent feelings of emptiness or loneliness.

Intense anger or difficulty regulating emotions.

Self-harm behaviors or suicidal thoughts may occur for some individuals.

🌿 What Causes Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? 🌿

There is no single known cause of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

Research suggests that BPD develops from a combination of biological, psychological, and environmental factors.

Some factors that may contribute include:

Genetics: A family history of BPD or other mental health conditions may increase risk.

Brain differences: Certain differences in brain areas involved in emotion regulation, impulse control, and stress responses may play a role.

Childhood adversity: Experiences such as neglect, abuse, trauma, or unstable relationships during childhood are associated with a higher likelihood of developing BPD.

Environmental stressors: Ongoing stress, invalidating environments, or difficult life experiences may contribute to symptoms.

It is important to understand that having one or more of these risk factors does not mean someone will develop BPD, and many people with BPD have unique life experiences. The condition is not caused by personal weakness or a lack of character.

BPD is not a character flaw. With proper treatment, support, and evidence-based therapies such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), many individuals learn effective coping skills, build healthier relationships, and lead fulfilling lives.

Let’s replace judgment with understanding, stigma with education, and criticism with compassion. 💚

Schedule a session today!

Dr.BT

Your life is often a reflection of your experiences, your support system, and the people you allow into your immediate c...
06/08/2026

Your life is often a reflection of your experiences, your support system, and the people you allow into your immediate circle.

The people around you have influence over your decisions, your energy, your mindset, and ultimately the impact you make in the world. They can affect how you navigate challenges, pursue opportunities, and shape your day-to-day life and motivations.

Think about when you were a child. Consider all the things you learned, experienced, witnessed, and absorbed from the world around you. Those experiences helped shape you into a young adult. As you continued to grow, new experiences, relationships, challenges, mentors, and opportunities further shaped who you became as an adult.

They influenced the way you think, the choices you make, how you approach relationships, your confidence, your resilience, and your ability to pursue your goals. They played a role in shaping you into an entrepreneur, a successful professional, a supportive friend, a loving parent, and the person you show as today.

Take a moment to check your life thermometer.

Is your current environment aligned with what you desire, need, and envision for your life, growth and success?

Is it enabling you to move forward?

Are the people, resources, and tools around you helping you grow, expand, and build the life and purpose you seek?

Look around. Your surroundings will tell you a lot about where you are, what may be holding you back, what is helping you move forward, and what you may need to reach the next level.

Growth is rarely accidental. It is often the result of intentionally choosing the environments, relationships, and opportunities that support the future you are working to create.

The story of your life is still being written. Make sure the people, experiences, and influences surrounding you today are helping you write the next chapter that you truly desire.

ItsALifestyleConsultingLLC
BonitaInfluencer

Your life is often a reflection of your experiences, your support system, and the people you allow into your immediate c...
06/08/2026

Your life is often a reflection of your experiences, your support system, and the people you allow into your immediate circle.

The people around you have influence over your decisions, your energy, your mindset, and ultimately the impact you make in the world. They can affect how you navigate challenges, pursue opportunities, and shape your day-to-day life and motivations.

Think about when you were a child. Consider all the things you learned, experienced, witnessed, and absorbed from the world around you. Those experiences helped shape you into a young adult. As you continued to grow, new experiences, relationships, challenges, mentors, and opportunities further shaped who you became as an adult.

They influenced the way you think, the choices you make, how you approach relationships, your confidence, your resilience, and your ability to pursue your goals. They played a role in shaping you into an entrepreneur, a successful professional, a supportive friend, a loving parent, and the person you show as today.

Take a moment to check your life thermometer.

Is your current environment aligned with what you desire, need, and envision for your life, growth and success?

Is it enabling you to move forward?

Are the people, resources, and tools around you helping you grow, expand, and build the life and purpose you seek?

Look around. Your surroundings will tell you a lot about where you are, what may be holding you back, what is helping you move forward, and what you may need to reach the next level.

Growth is rarely accidental. It is often the result of intentionally choosing the environments, relationships, and opportunities that support the future you are working to create.

The story of your life is still being written. Make sure the people, experiences, and influences surrounding you today are helping you write the next chapter that you truly desire.

I was having my usual weekly conversation with a colleague from Romania 🇷🇴 at work. Shoutout to As always, our discussi...
06/07/2026

I was having my usual weekly conversation with a colleague from Romania 🇷🇴 at work. Shoutout to

As always, our discussions drifted into some of life’s biggest topics, mental health, relationships, career, finances, healthy lifestyle changes and personal growth.

On this particular day, we found ourselves talking about grief and how differently it shows up in the loss of a loved one versus the loss of a relationship.

As we talked, I explained that while both experiences involve loss, they often follow very different paths. Grief is a process in both situations, but one involves a permanent loss, while the other eventually creates space for something new.

When we lose someone through death, that person is irreplaceable. Their absence becomes part of our story, and we learn how to carry both the love and the loss forward.

In contrast, the grief that follows the end of a relationship doesn’t erase what was shared, but it can eventually open the door to new love, new experiences, and new possibilities. A new relationship doesn’t replace the old one, it simply creates an opportunity to love again through a different lens with a new partner.

My colleague then asked a powerful question:

“How do you know when you’re finished grieving?”

My response was simple: I don’t believe grief ever completely disappears. It ebbs and flows and gets easier.

Grief in both situations has a way of revisiting us unexpectedly, a song, a memory, a date on the calendar, a familiar place. The difference is that over time, grief changes shape. It becomes less about the sadness, hurt and heartbreak of the loss and more about learning how to live with it and move forward.

I believe you’ve reached a new plateau in your healing journey when you’re able to move forward while still holding space for what was lost.

In grief through death, that may look like memories, honoring and celebrating the life of the person you’ve lost. Holding a space in your heart ❤️ forever.

🕊️ Grief in Death

* Loss is permanent.
* No new memories or reconciliation.
* Healing focuses on acceptance, remembrance, and learning to live while honoring the person you lost.

Common Stages
• 0–3 Months: Shock & Survival
• 3–6 Months: Reality & Adjustment
• 6–12 Months: Processing & Meaning-Making
• 1 Year+: Integration & Acceptance

In grief through love, it may look like opening your heart again, going on dates, meeting new people, and allowing yourself to believe in love again, while remembering the lessons learned in the separation or breakup.

❤️‍🩹 Grief in Love

* Loss is of a relationship and the future you imagined.
* The person is still alive, which can create hope, confusion, or unanswered questions.
* Healing focuses on rebuilding self-worth, rediscovering yourself, and opening your heart to new possibilities.

Common Stages
• 0–3 Months: Shock & Survival
• 3–6 Months: Reality Sets In
• 6–12 Months: Reconstruction & Growth
• 1 Year+: Integration & New Beginnings

No matter where you are in your journey, whether you’re grieving the loss of a loved one or the ending of a relationship, remember that this process belongs to you and no one can tell you how to grieve or when it should be over.

Neither form of grief should be rushed.

Give yourself grace. Give yourself time. Allow yourself the space to understand your emotions, process your experiences, and reconnect with who you are in the present moment.

All of your experience and emotions matter. Because when you do the work of healing, you discover something powerful:

Your resilience.

And that is where true healing begins. ❤️

Awareness Breaks the CycleMany adults struggle in relationships without realizing that the roots of their challenges may...
06/05/2026

Awareness Breaks the Cycle

Many adults struggle in relationships without realizing that the roots of their challenges may trace back to childhood trauma, abandonment and attachment wounds.

When a child experiences emotional neglect, inconsistency, rejection, abandonment, or a lack of safety or protection, they often learn to protect themselves in ways that carry them into adulthood.

Some become fearful of getting too close. Others become anxious when someone they love pulls away. Others make their partner the center of their entire world, and that’s a lot of pressure to place on one person.

A healthy relationship is important, but it’s equally important to maintain your own identity, friendships, interests, and support system.

Some people constantly seek reassurance and validation while others build walls so high that no one can truly reach them.

These attachment wounds can show up as:

💔 Fear of abandonment.

💔 Attachment issues.

💔 Difficulty trusting others.

💔 People-pleasing behaviors.

💔 Emotional withdrawal.

💔 Jealousy or insecurity.

💔 Self-sabotage in healthy relationships.

💔 Choosing unavailable or unhealthy partners.

The truth is, many are responding to old pain with old patterns rather than being in the present moment and finding new ways of relating.

Healing begins when you recognize the connection between your trauma, childhood experiences and your adult relationship patterns.

You can learn new ways to communicate, trust, set boundaries, and create secure healthy connections.

Our past may explain our behaviors, but it does not have to define the future.

Remember you are not the wounded child anymore. You are the adult who now has control, experience, the power to heal, grow, and build the healthy relationships you deserve. 🌹❤️

You are not your trauma. You are the courage, resilience, and growth that emerged because you refused to let it define you.

MentalHealthAwareness SelfDiscovery PersonalGrowth HealthyRelationships TraumaInformedCare ItsALifestyleConsultingLLC BonitaInfluence HolisticHealing HealingStartsWithin Mentor

Many adults struggle in relationships without realizing that the roots of their challenges may trace back to childhood t...
06/05/2026

Many adults struggle in relationships without realizing that the roots of their challenges may trace back to childhood trauma, abandonment and attachment wounds.

When a child experiences emotional neglect, inconsistency, rejection, abandonment, or a lack of safety or protection, they often learn to protect themselves in ways that carry them into adulthood.

Some become fearful of getting too close. Others become anxious when someone they love pulls away. Others make their partner the center of their entire world, and that’s a lot of pressure to place on one person.

A healthy relationship is important, but it’s equally important to maintain your own identity, friendships, interests, and support system.

Some people constantly seek reassurance and validation while others build walls so high that no one can truly reach them.

These attachment wounds can show up as:

💔 Fear of abandonment.

💔 Attachment issues.

💔 Difficulty trusting others.

💔 People-pleasing behaviors.

💔 Emotional withdrawal.

💔 Jealousy or insecurity.

💔 Self-sabotage in healthy relationships.

💔 Choosing unavailable or unhealthy partners.

The truth is, many are responding to old pain with old patterns rather than being in the present moment and finding new ways of relating.

Healing begins when you recognize the connection between your trauma, childhood experiences and your adult relationship patterns.

You can learn new ways to communicate, trust, set boundaries, and create secure healthy connections.

Our past may explain our behaviors, but it does not have to define the future.

Remember you are not the wounded child anymore. You are the adult who now has control, experience, the power to heal, grow, and build the healthy relationships you deserve. 🌹❤️

You are not your trauma. You are the courage, resilience, and growth that emerged because you refused to let it define you.



It’s a Lifestyle Consulting LLC

06/01/2026

💜💛✨ A Proud Mom Moment! ✨💛💜

Please join me in congratulating my beautiful daughter, Alayiah Arnold, on being awarded 3rd Place Scholarship Winner and Crowned Miss Esther Funds Legacy 2026 through the Crowned in the Bayou Experience! 👑🎉

Out of contestants from across the nation, Alayiah proudly placed 3rd nationally, earning an incredible 1,024 votes and securing a scholarship award. What an amazing accomplishment! 👏 💜

And the celebration isn’t over yet…her official crown and sash are on the way! 👑💜 We cannot wait to see her officially crowned and recognized for this outstanding achievement.

Alayiah, I am beyond proud of the young woman you continue to become. Your dedication, leadership, academic excellence, grace, and commitment to serving others continue to open doors and create opportunities.

Watching you grow into your purpose has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. Keep shining your light, baby girl this is only the beginning❣️

A heartfelt THANK YOU to everyone who voted, shared her posts, encouraged her, donated, prayed, and supported her throughout her journey. We truly could not have done it without our village. 🙏🏾💛

To our family, friends, mentors, Norfolk State University family, classmates, sorority sisters, and supporters thank you for believing in Alayiah and helping her shine on a national stage. Your support means more than words can express.

Congratulations, Alayiah! 👑💜 Your hard work, perseverance, and determination have paid off. Continue to walk boldly in your purpose, chase your dreams fearlessly, and know that your village is cheering you on every step of the way.

💜 3rd Place National Scholarship Winner
👑 Crown & Sash Loading…
🎓 Norfolk State University
✨ The Legacy Continues

NorfolkStateUniversity NSUSpartan BlackExcellence FutureLeader ScholarshipSuccess CrownedInTheBayou ProudMomMoment LegacyInTheMaking AlayiahArnold PurposeDriven ItsALifestyleConsultingLLC BonitaInfluence Explore ExplorePage 👑💜✨💛

You’re not the victim if it’s self-imposed.There comes a point where blaming others no longer serves you. If you keep wa...
05/31/2026

You’re not the victim if it’s self-imposed.

There comes a point where blaming others no longer serves you. If you keep walking back into the same fire, ignoring the same red flags, and repeating the same patterns, the issue is no longer what happened to you, it’s what you continue to allow.

Accountability is not self-blame. It’s recognizing your power to make different choices.

Healing begins the moment you stop asking, “Why is this happening to me?” and start asking, “What am I willing to change?”

Emotional wellness is holistic.



It’s A Lifestyle Consulting LLC

05/30/2026

🥊💜ROUND 3! HERE WE COME! 💜🥊

https://estherfundsfoundation.org
Scroll to contestant #4 Alayiah Arnold❤️👏

Because of your incredible support, Alayiah has made it this far, and we are so grateful for every vote, share, comment, and word of encouragement.

This campaign is about so much more than a crown. It’s about reminding students that they belong, that their voices matter, and that even through mental, emotional, and financial hardships, they are worthy of support, hope, healing, and success! Something myself and Alayiah truly believe. Opportunity is for everyone!

We are all a part of the solution and through service and programs like this we change lives and families.

Every vote is another round fought for students who need to know they are not alone and they matter. Every vote helps continue the mission of the “You Belong Here” movement and the impact it is making in the lives of young people navigating college and life challenges all over the country.

🏆 Support Contestant #4, Alayiah Arnold, advance to the finals!

🗳️ Cast your vote today! Voting closes on Saturday, May 30th.

📢 Share this post with your family, friends, coworkers, and community.

💜 Together, we can keep fighting for a purpose bigger than ourselves.

Thank you for believing in Alayiah and for believing in this mission. Let’s finish this round strong! 👑




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Give yourself some love.The kind you keep pouring into everyone else.The patience. The grace. The understanding. The sof...
05/28/2026

Give yourself some love.
The kind you keep pouring into everyone else.
The patience. The grace. The understanding. The softness.

You deserve rest without guilt.
Peace without explanation.
Healing without rushing the process.
Stop speaking to yourself through the lens of your mistakes and start seeing yourself through your growth.

You survived things that tried to break you, and somehow you still found a way to love, to lead, to show up. That matters.

Take the picture.
Eat the good food.
Protect your energy.
Say no when you need to.
Celebrate the small wins.
Forgive yourself for the versions of you that were simply trying to survive.
Self-love is not arrogance.
It’s choosing not to abandon yourself anymore
MindfulLiving InnerHealing SelfWorth HolisticHealing PersonalGrowth ChooseYou MentalHealthAwareness Empowerment ItsALifestyleConsultingLLC BonitaInfluence

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