03/13/2026
I lost one of my closest friends a few weeks ago. He was absolutely the strongest, and toughest man I've ever known. His demons were tough. He fought them as only a beast of a man could. In the end, he couldn't fight anymore. God called him to heaven to give him peace, and understanding that he can now claim victory. This is what I wrote as I sat and thought. This isn't about my friend. It's about the struggle with both shared. His struggles are over. Mine are not. In passing he taught that no matter how strong, physically you are, that you need help. That no way can anyone who suffers from the disease of addiction can beat it by themselves. Im very hardheaded and have tried to prove this theory wrong, most of my life. I just said goodbye to the bigger bear.. So no way can I do this alone. Ill miss my friend
Stuck In Lavender
Walking on a tightrope,
A slip is instant death.
Recovery ofers a balance bar,
Steps now taken on faith.
Life always running in circles,
Knocking me to my knees.
Wearing a permanent blindfold,
Can’t see the forest for the trees.
Went down kicking and screaming,
To the bitter ends.
A revolving door to nowhere,
No favors left to lend.
Days spent dodging trip wires,
Mindfields of co***ne.
Placed in my path by a demon,
A clear view impossible to obtain.
Peeking out of insanity,
Looking for means of escape.
Change is an impossible dream.
Never learning how to cope
Avoidance has been perfected,
Playing dodgeball with my pain.
Surfing the emotional fallout,
Days to years of the exact same thing.
Life is not always sunshine and butterflies,
Living life on life's terms.
Tiptoe through the tulips,
I can't the pain still burns.
A journey to my calling,
Playing the tape all the way through.
Step working to a plan of action,
1 through 12 is what we do.
Content, is a curse word,
A vocabulary of negativity.
Letting go and let God,
Only path to serenity.
Doing the next right,
Baby steps my biggest key.
Puzzle pieces of recovery,
Snap together to set me free.
The Football Poet,
T.
