10/22/2026
You started exercising each day. You built a morning routine that involves meditating and journaling. You’re going to group therapy. You’re listening to podcasts. And you quit drinking.
So why the hell don’t you feel better yet?
This is where I see a lot of people get stuck and eventually start slipping backwards.
It’s maddening. It takes so much energy, self discipline, willpower to stick with the things you told yourself you were going to do. But it still just feels like going through the motions. It doesn’t feel like it’s actually doing anything.
Part of it is that it just takes way more time than you want it to. You’re gonna have to stay consistent, even when it feels like you’re not getting anywhere, and it’s gonna take an incredible amount of patience to stick it out.
But there’s another little bit I think we overlook, that’s actually pretty easy to change.
There is a massive difference between, “I have to do this if I want to feel better,dammit,” and “I’m doing this because I deserve to give myself this gift.”
Some of y’all are gonna roll your eyes at that. It’s cool. I get it. It sounds kinda silly if that’s not really your thing. But will you just try it? You can use different words. But it’s got to be something along the lines of, “I believe that I deserve this good thing I’m doing for myself.”
If you’re doing something because you feel like you have to, it’s a chore.
If you’re doing it because you want to treat yourself with love, it becomes a gift.
And when you stick with it, and you give yourself a thousand tiny gifts - each with the message “I deserve good things” - your brain and your body and your heart won’t have any choice but to start believing it.
What’s one gift you’ve consistently given yourself, and how has it affected you over the long term?
