Head n Home

Head n Home Palliative Care, Bereavement and Wellness Counseling (NY licensed LMSW and APHC-SW) and Gestalt Trained Psychotherapist

12/31/2024

Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.
~Shannon L. Alder

image | Elisabeth Ladwig

11/14/2024

the best medicine you can bring for sadness is not joy. it is not telling them that they need to move on or get over it or realise how much worse things could be. no. the medicine for a spirit in mourning is tenderness. and warmth. and compassion. and connection. and presence. sit with someone in their grief and let them cry their ugly tears. do not shine and scurry grief away. they must walk through it. this is love. to abandon all that we think we know and be so full of grace that we are invited in to partake in someone else's darkest moments. what an honour it is to simply be a light. the antidote for sadness is love. it is always love.

Ullie Kaye

art | RazelleT

10/15/2024

The day you manage to stay calm in front of whoever provokes you, when your silence is the right answer, the day you manage to stay calm in the face of the storm.
In the face of noise and foolish words, then you will have achieved the greatest of your successes, to dominate yourself.

It is no longer about winning or losing, being better or worse, having or not having the coveted reason,
it is not even about triumphing over others, it is about the fact that,
finally, you have reached the top of a very high mountain, and it is to conquer you, prioritize yourself and put your mental health first,
your emotional intelligence.

Observe and look around you, don't judge anymore, just observe the unhappiness, the lack of self-esteem, the burdens and pains that others must carry to live tending other people's lives, to be aware of the lives of others.

The more you love yourself, the less you will care about the projection in someone else's eye,
the more you love yourself; you will focus on improving yourself and only you.

Author Unknown

art | Ana Neima

10/09/2024

Pooh woke up that morning, and, for reasons that he didn't entirely understand, couldn't stop the tears from coming. He sat there in bed, his little body shaking, and he cried, and cried, and cried.

Amidst his sobs, the phone rang.

It was Piglet.

"Oh Piglet," said Pooh, between sobs, in response to his friend's gentle enquiry as to how he was doing. "I just feel so Sad. So, so, Sad, almost like I might not ever be happy again. And I know that I shouldn't be feeling like this. I know there are so many people who have it worse off than me, and so I really have no right to be crying, with my lovely house, and my lovely garden, and the lovely woods all around me. But oh, Piglet: I am just SO Sad."

Piglet was silent for a while, as Pooh's ragged sobbing filled the space between them. Then, as the sobs turned to gasps, he said, kindly: "You know, it isn't a competition."

"What isn't a competition?" asked a confused sounding Pooh.

"Sadness. Fear. Grief," said Piglet. "It's a mistake we often make, all of us. To think that, because there are people who are worse off than us, that that somehow invalidates how we are feeling. But that simply isn't true. You have as much right to feel unhappy as the next person; and, Pooh - and this is the really important bit - you also have just as much right to get the help that you need."

"Help? What help?" asked Pooh. "I don't need help, Piglet.

"Do I?"

Pooh and Piglet talked for a long time, and Piglet suggested to Pooh some people that he might be able to call to talk to, because when you are feeling Sad, one of the most important things is not to let all of the Sad become trapped inside you, but instead to make sure that you have someone who can help you, who can talk through with you how the Sad is making you feel, and some of the things that might be able to be done to support you with that.

What's more, Piglet reminded Pooh that this support is there for absolutely everyone, that there isn't a minimum level of sad that you have to be feeling before you qualify to speak to someone.

Finally, Piglet asked Pooh to open his window and look up at the sky, and Pooh did so.

"You see that sky?" Piglet asked his friend. "Do you see the blues and the golds and that big fluffy cloud that looks like a sheep eating a carrot?"

Pooh looked, and he could indeed see the blues and the golds and the big fluffy cloud that looked like a sheep eating a carrot.

"You and I," continued Piglet, "we are both under that same sky. And so, whenever the Sad comes, I want you to look up at that sky, and know that, however far apart we might be physically...we are also, at the same time, together. Perhaps, more together than we have ever been before."

"Do you think this will ever end?" asked Pooh in a small voice.

"This too shall pass," confirmed Piglet. "And I promise you, one day, you and I shall once again sit together, close enough to touch, sharing a little smackerel of something... under that blue gold sky."

Important information about trauma.
10/04/2024

Important information about trauma.

So many people get judged when they refuse to put their pain away. They get judged for showing it, for speaking it, for insisting on sharing their memories of abuse with those they know. I am not talking about those overwhelming strangers with their stuff—I am talking about legitimate sharings with those they are connected with in daily life. All too often, they are fed one repressive message or another: “Don’t look back,” "What’s done is done,” “Don’t be a victim,” “Your feelings are an illusion,” “Be strong.” What is ironic about this is that those who insist on embodying and expressing their feelings are actually the courageous ones—unwilling and unable to live a false life. Their stuff is breaking through their defences because they are tired of carrying the weight of buried truths. They want a healthier and more authentic life. Those who seek to shame their revealings are actually less courageous, turning to repressive mantras in an effort to bypass their own unresolved feelings and memories. If they can shut others down, they can remain shut down themselves. But shut down doesn’t take us anywhere good. If we don’t deal with our stuff, it deals with us. May we all speak our truths, before our buried truths destroy us. Out with the old, in with the true...

~Jeff Brown, 'Spiritual Graffiti', here: https://amzn.to/4eRD7sx

art | Jonas Peterson

09/24/2024

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