Dr. Andrew J. Bauman

08/11/2026

08/08/2026

Wow. 🤯 😆

08/07/2026

Yes, abusers will r**e their wives. But our contention is that evangelical teaching actually pushes some men to become abusers who wouldn’t otherwise be.

When you teach people that you need two people’s consent to say no, but only one to say yes, which is how most evangelical books interpret 1 Corinthians 7, you set the stage for normalizing marital r**e.

When you teach people that God made women as their husband’s lawful s*xual outlets, and that using your wife for s*x helps you not lust or watch p**n, then you set the stage for normalizing r**e.

When you teach that God wants you to have s*x often in marriage, but never teach that s*x isn’t just two bodies joining, but should be something mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both, you normalize r**e.

Setting this straight is why we do what we do.

08/07/2026

This is my “perfect” family portrait. My dad smiling, dressed to impress, I can imagine him ready to tell a joke to the cameraman. He was always on, the life of the party. My mom is right beside him, trying her damnedest to play her part well. She was more timid and she knew she had to be the good, submissive Christian wife. We were taught to perform and look good at all cost.

When I look at my seven year old face, and my crooked smile, I see a weight in my eyes and a heavy grief on my shoulders. It’s like even then I knew something was off and I wouldn’t fully commit to the lie we were being asked to tell. My body already knew what my brain couldn’t process yet, “these lies will kill us.”

My dad buried his deceptions, of drugs, alcohol and cheating on my mom for decades while being a pastor and a vice president of a Christian college. My mom, lonely in a marriage trying everything she could to save my dad. And win his favor. Nothing was ever enough, so she poured herself into her faith because she had little else to hold onto. We went to church nearly five times a week. We looked the part, but we were all dying inside.

What I know now is that my body was the most honest one in the room. I developed severe OCD, and depression. I could not survive the masks that were given to me. Living this familiar lie caught up with me. It showed up in addiction, in a 13-year battle with p**nography, in becoming a duplicitous person just like what I’d grown up watching. It showed up in me checking myself into a psychiatric ward, standing at the edge of wanting to end my own life nearly 25 years ago.

The foundation of an unhealthy life was laid long before I ever made a single choice. I was just a kid in a red shirt learning that the only way to survive was to smile for the camera and fall apart in isolation. I learned that I was the only one I could count on.

I am still untangling these messages today.  But I know now that little boy was good and I trust his deep and sensitive heart.

08/04/2026

One spot still available!

08/04/2026

Too many men in the church mistake entitlement for “being a leader”. It’s often just insecurity and unhealed wounds masquerading as “authority”, offering the quick feeling of power while avoiding the slow, arduous work of healing.