Cilla Hope Wellness

05/19/2026

One of the BIGGEST things I hear from clients in eating disorder recovery is how uncomfortable the people around them get when recovery starts actually changing things.

Sure, people say they’re happy you’re getting better.

But then suddenly, you start setting boundaries.

Saying no.

Not overcommitting.

Not people-pleasing.

Standing on your values with both feet instead of abandoning yourself to keep everyone else comfortable.

And somehow… that’s when people get upset.

Which makes sense when you think about it.

Eating disorders don’t just control food.

They often keep you disconnected from yourself.

More compliant.
More accommodating.
More willing to ignore your own needs.

It’s ironic how much control you lose when you’re at the disposal of a mental illness.

Over the years—both personally and professionally—I’ve learned that recovery isn’t just about food.

It’s about rebuilding self-trust.

Learning your strengths, owning your blind spots, and making decisions that actually align with you.

I wrote more about this (plus what Dora the Explorer has to do with it 💀) in my newest blog post at itscillahope.com

P.S. I'm happy to be back

10/30/2025

When SNAP funding is delayed, people don’t just lose benefits — they lose safety.

Food insecurity is one of the MOST overlooked roots of eating disorders.
Because when access to food becomes uncertain, the body learns to survive by controlling, restricting, or rationing — long before words like “recovery” or “diagnosis” ever enter the picture.

And when government shutdowns pause benefits, millions of nervous systems re-enter survival mode overnight.
That’s not a lack of willpower — that’s policy.

This is why eating disorders are deeply political.
Because healing isn’t just about what’s on your plate.
It’s about whether you have consistent access to food in the first place.

If you’re feeling helpless, start local.
Support looks like community, not perfection:
🍞 Donate or volunteer at a local food pantry
🍎 Check in on friends and neighbors quietly struggling
🥕 Use your platform (even if small) to share resources

For those in Central Indiana, here are a few places to start:




(accepting donations for Gleaners!)

Because every body deserves access — not scarcity — when systems fail.
🤍

10/01/2025

Here’s the wild thing about body image: it’s never just been about bodies. I know. Shocker. 🤯

It’s about power. About politics. About who society decides is valuable at any given moment.

➡️ Wartime? Thin, frail bodies were glorified—scarcity looked powerful.
➡️ Economic boom? Curves were in—abundance meant status.
➡️ The ’90s? Tech bros + globalization = he**in chic and control.
➡️ Now? Kardashians inflate/deflate, Ozempic headlines trend, “clean girl” aesthetic reigns…all marching in step with capitalism.

None of this is random.

Body ideals have always mirrored sociopolitical trends. And every time they shift, entire industries profit while we’re left spinning in the comparison trap.

So if you’ve ever felt like your body is always “behind,” you’re not failing. The rules were never meant to be won.

✨ Body image reframe for the week: Next time you feel the spiral creep in, pause and ask— “Whose story am I living right now, and do I even want it?”

Because the most rebellious thing you can do might just be: stop playing the game altogether.

Sources linked below 🫶🏼

09/06/2025

Ever taken a photo, immediately zoomed in on your chin/arms/stomach, and decided it was trash? Same. These photos sat on my camera roll for a week because I thought they were ‘bad.’ Now? I love them. Not because I magically look different, but because they remind me why we take photos in the first place.

I used to think the purpose of photos was to prove something — that I looked good, that I looked smaller, that I looked like I had it all together. Maybe you can relate, too?

But later when I looked through them I saw a piece of history — the very first photos taken on our new covered bridge in town (yes, I’m a nerd for covered bridges). I saw a memory with someone I love. I saw a moment that deserved to be remembered.

And that’s when it reminded me: the goal of photos isn’t to manipulate our bodies into acceptability. The goal is to document our lives.

So I made this carousel as a gentle rebellion against the endless “how to pose to look smaller” advice. Because you don’t need to contort yourself into someone else’s beauty standard to be worthy of existing in photos.

Instead, you can:
✨ Smile for real.
✨ Move and play.
✨ Experiment with angles.
✨ Let yourself be seen.

Your future self won’t care if your arm looked bigger than you liked. She’ll care that you’re actually in the photo — proof that you were there, living, laughing, loving.

📸 Save this for the next time you’re tempted to pick apart a picture of yourself. And maybe, just maybe, let the photo be about the memory, not the mirror.

09/05/2025

The stories we’ve been told about weight, health, and “transformation” were never ours to begin with.

They were scripted for TV ratings.
Sold to us as entertainment.
And wrapped in shame.

This week on Stop, Collaborate and Listen with .counseling, we unpacked the documentary "Fit For TV" and talk about what it really means to reclaim your own story. Healing isn’t about erasing the past — it’s about weaving resilience, growth, and self-understanding into who you already are.

If you’ve ever felt like your worth was tied to a number on a scale, this conversation is for you.

P.s. Thank You .counseling for inviting me for another episode

08/29/2025

Kids notice differences. That’s normal. The lesson is how we react. If we flinch, shame, or say “don’t comment,” they learn bodies are scary, weird, or wrong.

Instead, I try to teach the little one's in my life that:
✅ All bellies are different.
✅ Bodies do amazing things — play, hug, eat yummy food.
✅ We can notice without shaming.

Have you ever had a kid (or adult) point out something about your body? How did you respond? 👀 Comment below!

08/22/2025

Did someone say NEW PODCAST IS OUT?

Check out the Stop, Collaborate, and Listen Podcast with .counseling below 👇🏼

https://open.spotify.com/episode/5tYs4VvOYZUeDTCKL1Z4hc?si=YL8Jh6PRSbuJItByd_XRKw&t=871&pi=5ePQFA8kSP-OV

P.s. Taylor saved my FYP with her new album drop ;)

Stop, Collaborate, and Listen · Episode

08/15/2025

✨ The problem with performing… and why it’s exhausting ✨

We spend so much of our lives performing without even realizing it. Sucking in your stomach the second someone walks in the room. Choosing clothes that hide your body instead of the ones you actually like. Refusing to leave the house without a full face of makeup. Avoiding photos like they’re a crime scene.

All because somewhere along the line, we were taught our worth depends on how we look or how others see us.

Here’s how to start un-performing:

1️⃣ Notice the little performances – Did you just suck in? Fidget with your outfit? Pause before stepping in front of a camera? Immediately grab a pillow to rest on your stomach when you sat down? Catch it, name it, and breathe.
2️⃣ Do one thing for yourself – Wear that bright top, skip the contour, or post the photo. Just once. See how it feels.
3️⃣ Focus on living > looking – Can you move, eat, laugh, or stretch without thinking about the audience? Practice it small.
4️⃣ Celebrate the small rebellions – Every time you choose comfort, honesty, or presence over perfection, you’re reclaiming your life from the performance.

Your life isn’t a stage. Your body isn’t a prop. Stop performing and start living—no audience required. 💛

P.s. if body image thoughts are hard to challenge, comment "NEWSLETTER" to get my weekly body image tips delivered straight to your inbox ✨🪩

08/08/2025

You know when the body neutral girlies tell you,
“Just thank your body for what it can do for you”? (P.s. I USED to say this same bs).

Yeah… love the intention, but that’s also lowkey ableist.
Because newsflash: not every body can do the things society deems “worthy.”
And also? Your body literally owes you nothing.

It doesn’t have to lift heavy, run far, or “carry you through life’s adventures” to deserve respect.
It doesn’t have to perform, prove, or achieve to earn your love.

Sometimes body respect looks like:
✨ Letting it rest
✨ Feeding it well
✨ Not making it do cartwheels to get your approval

You’re not a CEO and your body is not your unpaid intern. PERIOD.

p.s. I have a no BS weekly newsletter all about real life body image challenges - the hills, the valley's and honest conversations that leave you with 1 body image tip!

Comment "NEWSLETTER" and my 'lil robot buddy will send ya the link in your DM's!

08/01/2025

There was a time when I couldn’t tell the difference between a workout and a punishment.
Between “discipline” and disordered behavior.
Between wellness and full-blown military obedience to the voice in my head.

🫡 “You ate carbs? Treadmill. Now.”
🫡 “Feeling bloated? Double the pilates.”
🫡 “Gained 3 pounds in recovery? Guess who’s ‘earning their dinner’ again?”

It was never about health.
It was about fear. Shame. Control.
Movement wasn’t a choice. It was a consequence.

And the worst part?
I thought that was normal.
I thought I was the problem when movement didn’t feel “motivating” or “empowering.”

Turns out, movement doesn’t have to feel like a hostage negotiation with your body.
It can be gentle. Silly. Sporadic. SWEATY and sacred.
It can look like tennis, stretching, golf, or flailing around during pickleball. (ask me how I know.)

This week’s newsletter? It’s the full uncensored story of how I stopped taking orders from the eating disorder and started reclaiming movement for me. 💥

Comment “newsletter” below and I’ll slide into your DMs with the goods.
The tea is hot, the tips are juicy, and the treadmill is… turned off. 🫢