09/08/2026
Some people experience irritation, rage, or aversion while breastfeeding. đIf thatâs you, youâre not broken, and youâre not alone. There are two lesser-known experiences that can happen during feeding:
1ď¸âŁ Breastfeeding Aversion & Agitation (BAA/BAR)
â˘Feeds bring on feelings of irritation, anger, or an overwhelming need to unlatch baby, even though you want to feed.
â˘More common during pregnancy, with toddlers, or when nursing multiple children.
â˘Thought to be related to hormonal shifts, sensory overload, or personal boundaries being triggered.
â˘Often worse at certain times of day or during specific feeds, and can improve with mental strategies, distraction, and support.
2ď¸âŁ Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER)
â˘Right before your milk lets down, you feel a sudden wave of sadness, anxiety, dread, or even hopelessness.
â˘The feeling lasts 30â90 seconds, then passes.
â˘Itâs not a mood disorder or postpartum depression. itâs thought to be linked to a temporary drop in dopamine that happens when milk is released.
â˘Knowing itâs physiological (not âin your headâ) can help you prepare and cope.
The big takeaway:
â˘Youâre not âa bad momâ if feeding doesnât always feel blissful.
â˘These experiences are real, have names, and can be worked through with support.
â˘A lactation consultant, mental health provider, or peer support group can help you find strategies that make feeding more comfortableâphysically and emotionally.
Your feelings matter just as much as your babyâs nutrition. đ
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