The Massage Beast

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Homeopathic Doctor | 20+ yrs Root cause medicine, Medical Massage Trauma Therapist specializing in Lymphatics, Rehab, Oncology, Fascia Remodeling, Central Nervous Reset, Regenerative Care.

🌿 HOMEOPATHIC HEALTH & DIVINE NUTRITION: The Ultimate Cellular Reset 🌿In my practice at The Massage Beast, I teach clien...
10/25/2026

🌿 HOMEOPATHIC HEALTH & DIVINE NUTRITION: The Ultimate Cellular Reset 🌿

In my practice at The Massage Beast, I teach clients that true healing is an active, daily choice.

When it comes to supporting oncology prevention, balancing blood sugar, and managing morning cortisol spikes, your breakfast is your most critical medicine.

Consistent, timed-release fueling within 1 to 2 hours of waking up signals to your entire endocrine system that the body is safe and supported. This actively keeps systemic inflammation down—the core goal of anti-cancer nutrition.
Today, I’m sharing a divine, metabolically active powerhouse meal that tastes exactly like a decadent Thai dessert all wrapped into one clinical recipe.

✨ THE MASSAGE BEAST CELLULAR POWER BOWL ✨

🥣 The Base Ingredients:
• 1 can of pure Coconut Milk (MCT fats for instant, sustainable brain fuel)
• 1 to 1.5 cups of Extra-Thick Rolled Oats (Bob's Red Mill is by far the best for real fiber structure)
• 1/4 teaspoon of Sea Salt (Crucial for cellular hydration and electrolyte balance)
• 1 teaspoon of Vanilla Bean Paste (Aromatic, rich, and deeply comforting)
• 2 tablespoons of Stevia Brown Sugar (The perfect sweet profile with zero blood sugar spike)

🔥 The Process:
1. Combine all base ingredients together completely cold in your saucepan.
2. Bring to a gentle bubble over medium-low heat.
3. Turn the heat down to low and let it simmer for 15 to 20 minutes, depending on exactly how thick you like your oats.

🥭 The Finish:
Top your warm bowl generously with vibrant diced Fresh Mango, golden-roasted cashews, and crispy toasted coconut flakes.

I like to make a big batch and food prep it for the week reheat the microwave, its fantastic.

Geek out with me nutritionally for a minute!

Why this is so important!

Why this works for your cells:
Anti-cancer nutrition isn't about restriction; it's about flood-loading your body with protective compounds. The slow-simmered beta-glucans in these extra-thick oats bind to toxins in the digestive tract, while the monounsaturated fats in the roasted cashews optimize nutrient absorption. The fresh mango delivers robust, highly researched anti-inflammatory polyphenols directly to your system without the inflammatory crash of refined sugars.
This is homeopathic functional medicine at its finest—feeding your body for deep longevity while enjoying every single bite.
How are you fueling your cellular health this morning?

Drop your questions below or share your favorite power toppings! 👇

🌿 Healing from the inside out!

Dr. Laura McKemie, FMD, MMT
The Massage Beast | Homeopathic Functional Medicine & Oncology Prevention

10/21/2026
🩸 AGONIZING PERIODS & HEAVY BLOATING? WHAT YOUR OBGYN  ISN'T TELLING YOU ABOUT YOUR PERIOD!As a Homeopathic Doctor, I se...
10/18/2026

🩸 AGONIZING PERIODS & HEAVY BLOATING?

WHAT YOUR OBGYN ISN'T TELLING YOU ABOUT YOUR PERIOD!

As a Homeopathic Doctor, I see women really struggling with their periods all the time and Standard medical advice usually tells you to just pop ibuprofen, take birth control, this is normal or "push through" the pain as if it’s a baseline requirement of having a period and being a woman!

Honestly it pi**es me off and it makes me very sad.

Your body isn't a machine—your intense period pain and heavy flooding are signs that your system requires specific care to keep blood moving properly during your period. We have gotten away from so many traditional, old ways of taking care of the body during this time, and frankly, it makes me sad.

Here are the top things your regular doctor probably isn't telling you about your period, and what you can do a little bit differently for home care to truly get period relief:

❄️ STAY AWAY FROM COLD & DAIRY DURING YOUR PERIOD: Cold instantly constricts the blood vessels in your pelvis, making period cramps sharper. Dairy triggers heavy inflammatory responses that make uterine contractions significantly more painful during your period. Switch to warm or room-temperature liquids and ditch the cheese and milk during your period week.
🏃‍♀️ STOP DOING TOO MUCH PHYSICAL ACTIVITY DURING YOUR PERIOD: Forcing yourself through high-intensity and regular workouts drains the precious vital energy your body needs to naturally move blood and shed the uterine lining. Turn down the intensity and stick to gentle movement or restorative rest while on your period.
🍲 EAT REGULARLY DURING YOUR PERIOD (YOUR BODY NEEDS IT): Skipping meals starves your system of the basic fuel it requires to move blood effectively through the body and prevent period pain from stagnating. Eat warm, regular anti-inflammatory meals on a strict, predictable schedule during your period.
🌀 THE BENEFITS OF ABDOMINAL MASSAGE FOR YOUR PERIOD: Most women have never had an abdominal massage, and standard doctors rarely mention it. It is a massive missing piece for period pain. Specialized lymphatic massage physically flushes out the trapped fluid that causes heavy, swollen period bloating, while myofascial release unlocks tight tissues in your lower belly that clamp down on your uterus like a vice grip during your period.
🩹 BREAKING DOWN ABDOMINAL FIBROSIS & SCAR TISSUE: Another big part of this work that your OBGYN won't tell you about is breaking down fibrosis in your abdomen. I help women break down ovarian cysts, tumors, and internal fibrosis all the time. Over many years of doing this, I have helped countless women get the inflammation out of their abdomen and get their scar tissue under control—meaning they often don't have to have surgery at all, or the surgery ends up being far less invasive.

🏡 TOP 10 OTHER THINGS YOU CAN DO AT HOME FOR PERIOD PAIN RELIEF:

🔥 1. Utilize targeted heat therapy: Keep a heating pad or hot water bottle on your lower abdomen to safely increase local blood flow and force pelvic muscles to relax during your period.
🧪 2. Load up on magnesium: This mineral acts as a natural muscle relaxant to soothe an overactive uterus and calm down sharp period contractions.
🌱 3. Incorporate warm kitchen spices: Adding ginger, turmeric, or cinnamon to your warm meals acts as a natural anti-inflammatory to blunt period pain signals.
⚡ 4. Try a TENS unit: A small transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation device can actively block intense period pain signals from reaching your brain on your heaviest days.
🛁 5. Do a heavy magnesium soak (One cup ain't s**t): Skip the basic Epsom salt and do a proper magnesium flake soak. You need a lot of it to actually make a difference—one cup isn't going to do it. You need about 4 pounds in the tub to truly saturate your system and release deep pelvic tension during your period.
🛌 6. Elevate your knees: Rest on your back with a pillow tucked beneath your knees or curl up in a fetal position to immediately take pressure off your abdominal muscles during your period.
🦶 7. Massage your own feet: Gently rubbing the inner ankle and the arch of your foot helps soothe the nervous system and lowers your overall period pain perception.
☕ 8. Prioritize herbal teas: Sipping warm chamomile, red raspberry leaf, or peppermint tea helps calm muscle spasms and keeps your pelvic pathways warm during your period.
🫁 9. Practice diaphragmatic belly breathing: Taking deep, slow breaths into your stomach physically stretches tight pelvic tissue from the inside out to ease period tension.
💧 10. Use hydrotherapy and contrast therapy: Rely on time-tested traditional hydrotherapy. Alternating strategic warm and cool applications (contrast therapy) over your pelvic area or feet stimulates local circulation, forces stagnant blood to move, and eases severe cramping.

🩸 IF YOU ARE BLEEDING LIKE A STUCK PIG BEFORE A BOUCHERIE DURING YOUR PERIOD...

When your period flow is that heavy and completely out of control, you absolutely cannot ignore what your body is telling you. The severe fluid loss and period agony require customized care to stabilize your system, stop the pooling, and restore natural, healthy flow during your period.

📋 What you can do at home for heavy bleeding:
• Elevate your hips and rest completely: Lie down immediately and prop your hips up and knees with pillows to help slow down a flooding flow through gravity.

• Drink warm, nutrient-dense fluids: Sip on warm bone broths, chlorophyll-infused water, or dark herbal teas to keep your blood volume stable and replenish fluids without chilling your pelvic area.

• Keep external warm pressure constant: Maintain steady, mild warmth over your lower back and lower abdomen to stop the physical shivering and vascular shock that often accompanies heavy blood loss.

🩺 Things that I can help you with in my practice:
If you want to move past generic online tips and look at your specific system, these are things that I can help you with in my clinic to improve your periods and get the inflammation under control. I offer private consultations for homeopathic care, clinical massage, and lymphatics to build a targeted plan tailored exclusively to your body's needs during your period.

Let's get things moving.

👉 CLICK HERE TO BOOK YOUR PRIVATE CONSULTATION:
massagebook.com/themassagebeast

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10/15/2026

WHAT'S STOPPING YOU FROM BOOKING THAT MASSAGE?

Honestly, Sometimes the hardest part of getting a massage isn't finding the time. It's allowing yourself to slow down long enough to receive one.

Which one are you?
Introvert
Extrovert
Ambivert
Omnivert

Are you always on the go, uncomfortable with touch, uneasy about vulnerability, or simply not sure what to expect?

Maybe you've had experiences that make it difficult to relax around another person. Maybe your body has learned to stay on high alert, and slowing down feels more uncomfortable than staying busy.

And maybe there's something else you've been hesitant to ask about.

You can talk to me about it. Seriously.

I'm a Doctor, Medical Massage Rehabilitation Therapist, and Trauma Therapist. My work is about more than muscles. It's about understanding what you need, respecting your boundaries, and helping you feel comfortable receiving care.

If something is outside my scope, I have an amazing trusted network of professionals I can refer you to.

No judgment. No embarrassment. Just an honest conversation about what you need.

So, what's stopping YOU from booking that massage?

Let's talk about it. 🔽

🐒 LET YOUR INNER MONKEY & KID OUT!Stop moving like a rigid machine. Your body wasn't built to live in a straight-line ri...
10/12/2026

🐒 LET YOUR INNER MONKEY & KID OUT!

Stop moving like a rigid machine. Your body wasn't built to live in a straight-line rigid box!

When you come to The Massage Beast, we’re gonna laugh. Because I’m going to have you:

👅 Sticking your tongue out
🗣️ Making weird-ass sounds
🐒 Crawling on the floor like a monkey
🐘 Doing the elephant walk
🦍 Moving like a gorilla

To name a few moves!

🔬 The Actual Science (Why This Works)
We aren't just playing around. This is backed by real biomechanics and neurology. Here is the exact science of what happens when you let your inner monkey out:

* 💪 ECCENTRIC LOADING (Bulletproof Strength): This is controlling a muscle while it is actively lengthening under load. Science shows it alters muscle architecture, increases muscle fascicle length, and builds massive tendon resilience. It forces your tissues to get strong where they are normally weak and vulnerable so you stop getting hurt.

* 🌊 DYNAMIC MOBILITY (Greased-Up Joints): Your joints do not have a direct blood supply; they rely on movement to survive. Moving through crazy, multi-directional angles creates a process called "joint pumping." This floods the joint capsule with fresh synovial fluid, lubricating the cartilage so you stop waking up stiff.

🧠 SOMATIC MOVEMENT (Nervous System Reset): This is moving based entirely on internal physical perception rather than external aesthetics. It speaks directly to your nervous system to override sensory-motor amnesia—a state where your brain literally forgets how to relax a chronically tight muscle. Making sounds, shaking, and letting go resets your motor cortex and forces your body to drop the stress it has been hoarding for months.

Trust the process.

Connect with your inner child.

Have some damn fun with your rehab or recovery and working out.

BOOK NOW:
👉 https://www.massagebook.com/themassagebeast

10/03/2026

The body loses water each day through?

Choose only ONE best answer.

A
urination

B
evaporation from the skin

C
exhalation from the lungs

D
elimination of f***s

E
all of the above

Address

Lafayette, LA

Opening Hours

Monday 8am - 6pm
Tuesday 8am - 6pm
Wednesday 8am - 6pm
Thursday 8am - 6pm
Friday 8am - 6pm

Telephone

+13373262035

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