06/07/2026
He is still resting comfortably, he was awake for awhile watching cartoons and drank some tea.
He hasnt eaten anything substantial in 5 days, he does ask for a drink every now and then.
I gave him a bath yesterday, after I had to take some time alone to cry. He is so weak, his body limp. He still tried to splash the water with his hand. Small splishy splashes.
I sang to him all our bathtub songs, carefully washed him from head to toe, then let him relax, floating in the warm water. He has always loved baths, I like to think he enjoyed the water.
I try not to leave his side if I can avoid it. Giving him medicine every 4 hours, checking his heart rate, his breathing, and trying to stay ready for when his time comes.
We try to find ways to keep him entertained while in bed. Today I was able to get him to hold a paint marker so he could draw me something in my sketchbook. His dad held him and danced while I sung the hokey pokey for him and his brothers.
His hospice nurse said at her visit today that he doesnt seem like he is going to pass today. I asked her how long this phase could last before he does pass away. It could be weeks. It has been 5 days of him like this and every moment feels like an eternity.
Our hearts are broken watching him fade away like this. I wish I could trade places with him. I wish there had been a miracle. I keep telling myself that maybe there is a bigger reason for all of this that I cannot see right now.
I pray that he stays comfortable like this, I pray that when the time comes there will be no pain. Only peace.