11/20/2024
These are my boys. I need to stop calling them that because they are men.
These are my favorite men.
Yesterday was
November, in the UK, is Men’s Mental Health Month, and tomorrow is , so I thought I’d combine them as their mental health is on my mind more than usual this week.
I like to think that they will come to me with any mental health challenge because a mother’s love is all-powerful.
But unfortunately, it’s not.
My love for them cannot overcome the consistent and incessant societal pressures, and that’s a bummer.
So I got to thinking, in what ways do I need to change my views about men’s mental health that might help them and the other men in my life? How can I make it safer for them to seek help when needed?
Here are a few ways I discovered:
🧠 Rethink my expectation of masculinity. I have to admit I have a pretty clear idea of what masculinity “should” look like, and it leaves some space for them to feel sad or scared, but anger doesn’t fit in. Additionally, I expect that they “get over it” quickly.
🙌 Validate their motions: Here, I think I’m pretty good. I dislike it when someone doesn’t validate my emotions, so I am sure to validate theirs. But could I do better with other men in my life? Yup!
📙 Educate Myself: Off the top of my head, I could make you a list of depression symptoms for women. Learning that irritability, anger, or aches and pains are signs of depression in men was a bit of a surprise. I need to have a better understanding of how mental health manifests in men.
🎖️Honor the Impact: As a black woman, when a white friend acknowledges the systematic inequalities that I have been through, I feel comforted and safe. I get to drop my guard. I realize that I can do the same for men. I can ask questions about the pressures they might be feeling to be strong, brave, or to “suck it up.”
Will this help? Only if I put it into practice.
In the end, it comes down to getting out of our heads for periods to “see” the heads of others. That’s a good mental health practice in general, I think.
Which idea resonates with you the most?