09/14/2026
These are just a few of the comments from a reaction video I posted back in June.
The original clip featured a very well-known former pastor and his wife talking about the dangers of seggsless marriages—specifically suggesting that wives who “withhold” seggs should get help, or recognize that men need seggs when they’re stressed and that obliging can change the emotional climate of the home. What was missing was allllll the nuance.
Seggsless marriages are complex. They require a deeper look at the individual, relational, cultural, and biological factors influencing desire.
Like how high-control religion and purity culture teach women desire is dangerous while seggs is obligatory—or primarily for their male partner. The different desire styles. The importance of not using seggs to regulate emotion. The invisible mental labor many women carry and the exhaustion that comes with it. The hormonal shifts women go through that significantly affect desire, arousal, sleep, energy, and comfort.
And the other 101 reasons someone might not want seggs right now.
”Just do it anyway” may create more seggs in the short term, but it can also teach someone’s body that seggs is something to endure rather than something to desire. Duty seggs actually deepens resentment and disconnection.
Disclaimer:
No, I didn’t watch the whole episode. But they edited, approved, and posted THIS CLIP as is. Whatever their intent.. like myself, many others likely won’t watch the entire video either. THEY posted the clip with zero context. Regardless of their beliefs or whether they backtracked in the full video, this ideology is still dangerous and was an opportunity to speak on it myself - because this is a real thing that people believe and teach...that wives owe their husband seggs. My job is to help couples heal from this belief because seggs SHOULD BE consensual, safe, enjoyable, and desirable. It requires work from both partners — as a team.
