07/25/2026
The behaviour you punish today could be a child's survival response.
The child who lashes out may be in fight mode. The one who runs away may be in flight. The child who goes quiet and seems to switch off may be frozen. The one who constantly tries to keep everyone happy may be fawning.
These are not choices. They are automatic survival responses that happen when a child feels unsafe, overwhelmed or frightened. Looking beneath the behaviour can completely change how we respond.
When we replace judgement with curiosity, punishment with connection, and ask "What has happened to this child?" instead of "What is wrong with this child?", we give children a much better chance to heal.
Too many children are labelled as naughty, defiant, manipulative or attention-seeking when they are actually doing what their nervous system believes is necessary to survive.
Free CHILDREN’S TRAUMA RESPONSES WHEEL – FIGHT, FLIGHT, FREEZE, FAWN BEHAVIOUR POSTER
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