Katherine Wilson Blackney PhD

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Katherine Wilson Blackney PhD Memphis-based psychologist and clinical s*x therapist specializing in individual and couples counseling and s*x therapy.

Being easygoing isn't a bad thing. Sometimes you truly don't care where you eat or what movie you watch 🙂But if “whateve...
10/13/2026

Being easygoing isn't a bad thing. Sometimes you truly don't care where you eat or what movie you watch 🙂

But if “whatever you want” has become your automatic answer, when was the last time you stopped to think about what you actually wanted? Sometimes we get so good at considering everyone else's preferences that we stop checking in with our own.

Maybe you learned that being agreeable kept the peace.
Maybe you don't want to disappoint anyone. Maybe making the decision feels uncomfortable. Or maybe you've been accommodating other people for so long that you're genuinely not sure what you want anymore.

Say it with me: Having a preference does not make me difficult to deal with.

You can care about what other people want and still have an opinion. You can be flexible and still say, “Actually, I'd rather do this.” You can consider everyone else without automatically removing yourself from the equation.

The next time you hear yourself say, “I don't care, you pick,” pause for a second.

Do you really not care? Or have you forgotten to ask yourself what you want?

No parent wants to get the call that their child has been bullying someone else.As a parent myself, I know how easy it c...
10/09/2026

No parent wants to get the call that their child has been bullying someone else.

As a parent myself, I know how easy it can be to go straight to defense.

There has to be more to the story. My child wouldn't do that. That's not who they are.

And maybe it isn't who they are. But that doesn't mean the behavior didn't happen or that someone else wasn't hurt by it.

Our kids are going to make choices we are disappointed by. They're going to get things wrong. And sometimes, they're going to be the person who caused the hurt.

Those moments give us an opportunity to teach something important.

We can hold our kids accountable without deciding that one behavior defines who they are. We can ask what happened without excusing it. We can help them understand the impact of their choices and figure out what making it right looks like.

When something like this happens, don’t try to prove your child is a “good kid.” Instead, help them learn how to be a person who takes responsibility when they get it wrong.

We spend a lot of time thinking about what we want to teach our kids.Be kind. Work hard. Tell the truth. Treat people wi...
09/30/2026

We spend a lot of time thinking about what we want to teach our kids.

Be kind. Work hard. Tell the truth. Treat people with respect. Stand up for yourself.

But some of the biggest lessons we teach are the ones we never actually sit down and explain.

They’re watching how we speak to ourselves when we make a mistake. How we treat people when we’re frustrated. Whether we apologize when we get it wrong. How we talk about our bodies. How we handle disappointment. How we love the people around us.

So I’m curious: What’s something you hope your kids learn from watching you?

When one person becomes the one who always initiates s*x, it can start to feel like more than initiating.There can be pr...
09/28/2026

When one person becomes the one who always initiates s*x, it can start to feel like more than initiating.

There can be pressure in wondering when to try, whether your partner will be interested, how they'll respond, or what it means when they say no. Over time, one partner may feel unwanted while the other feels pressured, and neither may fully understand what the other is experiencing. We all enjoy being and feeling pursued.

Instead of keeping score over who initiates and how often, get curious about what desire looks like for each of you. What helps you feel wanted? What makes initiation feel comfortable? What gets in the way?

Less assumptions. Less pressure. More curiosity. More conversation.

We like things to be clear: good or bad, right or wrong, happy or sad. Especially if there is a “justice’ part of our pe...
09/24/2026

We like things to be clear: good or bad, right or wrong, happy or sad. Especially if there is a “justice’ part of our personality or a smidge of perfectionism…speaking for a friend 🙂

But we’re more complicated than that.

You can miss someone and know you need distance. You can be excited about what’s next and grieve what you’re leaving behind. You can love the life you’ve built and still wonder about the roads you didn’t take.

One feeling doesn’t cancel out the other.

Sometimes healing means getting comfortable with the “and”—letting two seemingly opposite things be true without forcing yourself to choose between them.

There is room for both. And learning to hold space for the both and rest in that is an art. Give it a try.

There is something about the beginning of fall that naturally makes us think about change.The trees shed what they no lo...
09/22/2026

There is something about the beginning of fall that naturally makes us think about change.

The trees shed what they no longer need. The days get shorter. Our routines shift. Things slow down.

But when it comes to our own lives, we can be pretty good at carrying things long after they've stopped serving us.

Maybe it’s a habit. An expectation. A relationship with yourself that no longer feels healthy. Or maybe it’s a version of you that simply doesn’t fit anymore.

That version of you may have survived something hard. She may have made the best choices she could with what she knew at the time. She may have gotten you through a season you weren’t sure you could get through.

You can be grateful for who she was and still be ready to step out of her shadow.

As fall begins, take some time to notice what has changed in you. What feels different? What have you outgrown? What are you ready to carry forward—and what can stay in the season behind you?

Growth doesn’t always mean becoming someone entirely new. Sometimes it means giving yourself permission to keep becoming.

“How was your day?”“Fine.”Sound familiar?Sometimes we ask the people we love questions that don't give them much room to...
09/17/2026

“How was your day?”

“Fine.”

Sound familiar?

Sometimes we ask the people we love questions that don't give them much room to tell us what they actually need.

The right question can help your child tell you that something happened at school that's still bothering them. It can give your partner an opportunity to say, “Actually, today was really hard.” It can also help you understand whether the person you love wants advice, help solving a problem, or simply someone to listen.

We don't always have to know the right thing to say to support someone.

Sometimes we just need to know the right thing to ask.

And when they answer, stay curious. Listen before you fix. You may learn a lot more than you would from “How was your day?”

Anxiety does not like an unanswered question, and when we don't have all the information, our minds can be very quick to...
09/14/2026

Anxiety does not like an unanswered question, and when we don't have all the information, our minds can be very quick to fill in what's missing.

Someone's quiet, so they must be upset.

A text goes unanswered, so we must have done something wrong.

Our child is struggling, so we must be failing.

But a feeling is not always a fact.

The next time you notice yourself filling in the blanks, pause and ask: What do I actually know to be true right now? What do I know to be true about me?

Sometimes the blank is just a blank. A pause not to be filled or an opportunity to give yourself a compliment.

I am a little piece of them all.One grandmother taught me I could be whoever I wanted to be and to never settle. One tau...
09/13/2026

I am a little piece of them all.

One grandmother taught me I could be whoever I wanted to be and to never settle. One taught me to always embrace my playful side. Her consistency is what I miss most. Always being there.

One grandfather taught me manners at the dinner table, but also the importance of knowing our history and valuing the freedoms we have today. One taught me to stay humble and to always look for ways to make our communities better.

It's funny how the people who help raise us become part of us. A phrase we still say. A tradition we keep. A value we pass along. A way of showing up for the people we love.

Grandparents Day can hold a lot of different emotions. For some, today brings gratitude and happy memories. For others, grief, complicated relationships, or reminders of what they wish they'd had.

Whatever this day holds for you, I hope you can recognize the people who have left something meaningful in your life—and the pieces of them you continue to carry forward.

Happy Grandparents Day. 💛

Today is World Su***de Prevention Day. THE WORLD IS BETTER WITH YOU HERE. I shared this last year, and I’m sharing it ag...
09/10/2026

Today is World Su***de Prevention Day.

THE WORLD IS BETTER WITH YOU HERE.

I shared this last year, and I’m sharing it again because the need didn’t expire when the day passed.

There are real people behind this day. Real grief. Real fear. Real struggles. Real families and friends who have been forever changed.

Please, please know you are seen, loved, wanted, and important. You are never alone. Your story matters. Your life is precious and meaningful.

Check in on the people you love. Ask the question. Have the conversation. Remind someone that they matter.
It is better with you here, because without you, there is a hole that can never be filled in quite the same way.

You matter. If you're struggling, please reach out.
📞 Call or text 988 – Su***de & Crisis Lifeline

***dePrevention ***dePreventionDay

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