08/03/2026
For three weeks I have been answering my husband's mistress from his own phone, and she still thinks she is talking to him. đł I thought the worst part would be reading what she sends. Then she asked to meet somewhere private, and I said yes, and I gave her my address.
Forty one years married. I found the second phone in the toolbox in March, in the drawer with the sockets he has not touched since his shoulder went.
I did not shout. I did not go crying to anybody. I sat on an upturned bucket in my own garage and I read four months of it.
Her name is Renata. She is fifty one. She calls him bear.
Here is what I did instead of confronting him.
I wrote down the passcode, put the phone back exactly, and started checking it every Tuesday and Thursday when he goes to physical therapy. Two hours each time. Enough.
Then in July he left it behind.
He came back for it forty minutes later, and I had already answered her, and my hands were shaking so hard I dropped it twice putting it back in the toolbox.
"Have you seen my truck keys?" he said from the kitchen.
"Bowl by the door. Where they always are."
"Nothing's ever where it always is in this house."
"Forty one years," I said. "The bowl has not moved."
He went. And the next Tuesday I answered her again, on purpose this time.
She wrote, "Are you thinking about me."
I wrote back, "Constantly."
That is all it took. A grown woman on a Tuesday afternoon and one word.
Three weeks of it now. I have learned more about my husband from pretending to be him than I learned from four decades of sitting across from him at supper.
She wrote, "Did you tell her yet."
I wrote, "Not yet."
"Bear, you keep saying that."
"There's a right way to do it."
"There is no right way. There's just doing it."
She is not wrong. That is the part that has kept me up.
She wrote, "Do you even love her anymore."
I sat with my thumb over the screen for a long time.
I wrote, "I do not know what I feel about her."
Then I put the phone down and went and made his supper, and he ate it, and he said the pork was dry.
"Is it," I said.
"Little bit. Not your fault, cut was thin."
"I will do better."
"You always do," he said, and he patted my hand on the way to his chair, and I stood at that sink and I have never in my life felt so far away from another person.
Thursday she wrote something new.
"I can't keep doing this over a phone. I need to see your face when you tell me the truth."
"Where."
"Somewhere private. Not the lot behind the church."
And I looked at that message for maybe ten minutes, and then I typed my own address, and I told her Sunday at seven, and I told her his wife would be out.
She wrote back one word. "Finally."
He does not know. He thinks he is going to his brother Wendell's tonight to watch the race, because I told him this morning that Wendell called and asked for him, which Wendell did not.
"He wants me over there? For the race?"
"That is what he said."
"Huh." He scratched his neck. "He hates when I talk during it."
"Maybe he is lonely, Merle."
"Wendell's never been lonely a day in his life." But he went. He put on the good shirt to watch a race in his brother's basement, and if I needed one more thing, that was it.
It is six fifty one right now.
I have made coffee. I have put out the good cups, the ones from my mother, because I am not going to be small about this. I have his second phone on the table in front of me, face up, screen unlocked, open to the whole conversation.
I have not decided what I am going to say to her.
I have thought about a hundred versions all week and every one of them sounds like a woman in a television show. What I actually want to ask her is not any of those. What I want to ask her is whether he ever mentioned my name. Not wife. My name.
Seven o'clock. Headlights across the front window, slowing, and then turning in.
A car door. Heels on my walk, quick, then slower on the porch steps.
I opened the door before she could knock, and she looked at me, and her whole face fell apart, and she said, "Oh God. He told me you were dead."