Modern Mayhem CO

06/11/2026

🎉 Guess what, friends?
I've decided to bring a whole new collection of funny to your eyeballs every night. 👀

Turns out my day job provides enough chaos, confusion, questionable decision-making, and accidental comedy to support an entirely separate blog. 😂

So while I'll never tell you where I work, what city I'm in, or what we actually make, 🤫 I can share the daily adventures that unfold behind the scenes.

The names have been withheld to protect the innocent.
And the guilty.
Mostly the guilty.

Welcome to Tales From the Factory Floor, presented by Modern Mayhem CO

🚨 EPISODE 1: The Mystery of the Productive Night Shift 🚨

We walked in this morning and found...
ZERO empty carts.
Zero.
For my Mad Hatters, we all know night shift just works at a slower pace. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Normally day shift walks into enough empty carts to start a small dealership 🤔
I immediately told management:
"Make sure you thank night shift. They absolutely crushed it last night." 💪

A few minutes later Safety gave us another update.
Apparently they found some... party favors... in the bathroom overnight. 👀

And suddenly everything made sense... 😳😳😳

Look, I'm not saying drugs improve productivity.
I'm just saying we had no empty carts. 🧐
At that point you don't look a gift horse in the mouth. You take the W and move on. 🏆

Then Safety gave us another speech:
"We need everyone submitting maintenance requests. The last thing we need is all the machines breaking down at once."
The factory gods heard that and said:
"Challenge Accepted!"

By 9:00 AM multiple outside machines were down.
Not acting weird...
Not making funny noises...
Like BROKE broke!

No product coming in. Production line down. Everybody standing around looking at equipment like staring harder might fix it.🤦‍♀️

Trying to help, I started cleaning trash out of the aisles.
I yelled to a coworker:
"Got any trash in your aisle?"
Without missing a beat he yelled back:
"THIS WHOLE PLACE IS TRASH!" 😂😂😂
💀💀💀
Best joke of the day. 🏆

That man is officially in charge of employee morale from now on! 😂😂

Stay tuned for tomorrow's ridiculousness.
Same warehouse new nonsense 🥰

06/11/2026

What's one thing saving your sanity lately? 🤔

For me, it's actually having my kids home for the summer. ❤️
Don't get me wrong... they keep me on my toes, eat all my groceries, and occasionally raise my blood pressure. 😂
But I love having them full time.

The house gets way too quiet when they're gone. They're funny, they're chaotic, and they always seem to be creating content for my social media whether they know it or not. 🥰

Another thing that's been saving my sanity lately is TikTok.
And that's not a flex! 🫣
I genuinely enjoy hopping on at night, seeing my friends, video chatting, meeting new people, and venting about whatever ridiculous thing happened during my day.
Sometimes you don't realize how much you need a laugh until you get one.

So what about you?
What's one thing that's been helping keep you sane lately? 👇❤️

06/11/2026

06/08/2026

It's Monday & it's summer! What kind of crazy shenanigans did your kids get into this weekend? We're all dying to know!

06/07/2026

It's going to be a long summer! 🤦‍♀️

Is anyone else already tired of the sighing, eye-rolling, and complaining? 😳

Summer JUST started and my kids are acting like every request is a human rights violation.🧐

Me: "Can you empty the dishwasher?"
Them: deep sigh

Me: "Want to go to the pool?"
Them: eye roll

Me: "What do you want for dinner?"
Them: "I don't know."

😫😫😫

Excuse me?! You've been playing video games and eating snacks all day. How is THINKING too exhausting? 🧐

Listen, my tiny roommates...
I pay the bills.
I bought the dishes.
I bought the food.
I provide the Wi-Fi.

The least you can do is put your cereal bowl in the sink without acting like I ate your last chicken nugget. 🤨

I once heard a comedian say his mom used to tell him:

"Mijo everything you think you have is mine: Your toys are mine. Your bed is mine. Your clothes are mine.
The walls, the floor, even the air you breathe is mine."
Then she tells him:
"By the way... happy birthday."
I was dead!!!! 💀 You gotta put your kids in their place sometimes 🤷🏻‍♀️

Please tell me I'm not the only one living with dramatic little freeloaders. How is everyone else starting to survive these dog days of summer? 👇🤣

06/06/2026

☕️ If Your Coffee Doesn't Cause Mild Time Travel, Is It Even Working? 😳

I know I'm about to offend some people here... but I don't think America has the strongest coffee. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Last night I drank TWO Greek frapes and was absolutely WIRED. I felt like I could hear colors and solve crimes. 🤯

I didn't fall asleep until almost 1:00am and now I'm paying for my poor life choices this morning. ☠️

Greek coffee is amazing though. And there's a Vietnamese restaurant by my house that serves Vietnamese coffee that's so good it should probably require a waiver. 🤤

It takes like 20 minutes to make and you literally sit there watching it slowly drip into your cup like:
👀☕ "Come on little buddy... change my life."

Meanwhile, back in the day, Sweet T and I used to make TWO pots of coffee every morning and somehow drink all of it!! Meanwhile our dry plants were watching us pour water into the coffee maker and contemplating our murders 😏

And when I worked downtown, I'd get an espresso milkshake with espresso grounds on top.

You know you've built up a caffeine tolerance when you're EATING your coffee. 🤣

So tell me...

☕️ Hot or iced?
☕️ Black or loaded with cream and sugar?
☕️ Fresh coffee or reheated 7 times throughout the day?
☕️ Favorite coffee shop?
☕️ Ever tried whipped coffee?

And who makes the BEST coffee you've ever had?

Drop your answers below before I go make another bad decision. 👇🫣

06/05/2026

The ONLY thing I love about grocery shopping for what feels like a family of 10 is showing up early and hunting down all the clearance deals. 🤑

I know EXACTLY where they hide them:

🥩 Discount meat
🥛 Discount dairy
🥖 Discount bakery

While other people are shopping...

I'm over here conducting a financial investigation like:
"Why is this marked down?"
"How many days do I have?"
"Can I freeze it?" 🧐

Honestly, most of the time I get groceries delivered because it's cheaper than taking myself into a store and coming home with $47 worth of things that were definitely not on the list. 🤦‍♀️

But with the kids home for summer?

Those little human garbage disposals are eating like they're training for the Olympics. 😭

I looked at this cart and thought:
"Well... there goes my paycheck."

Then I saw how much I saved and suddenly felt like an extreme couponing champion. 💪😂

Anyone else know exactly where the clearance sections are in your grocery store, or is that just a special talent we've developed trying to keep our families fed? 👇🍽️🥦🌯🍝🍚🍲👇

06/03/2026

🚨 Summer Parent Survival Question 🚨

Now that the kids are home for the summer... how are we feeding these tiny hostage negotiators all day long?! 🤔

I swear my kids just ate lunch and 14 minutes later they're standing in the kitchen like:

👦 "What's for dinner?"

Me: "The lunch you just ate." 😑

What are your favorite easy grab-and-go snacks and meals to keep in the fridge?

🍓 Fruit?
🧀 Cheese sticks?
🥚 Hard boiled eggs?
🥪 Sandwich fixings?
🥒 Veggies and dip?
🍗 Leftovers?

I'm always looking for ideas that don't require me to spend half my life standing over a stove like Rachel Ray. 😩

Help a tired mom out and drop your summer snack and meal suggestions below! 👇🥰

06/02/2026

🚨 Busy Parent Life Hacks 🚨

Let's help each other out...

What's the BEST parenting shortcut you've discovered that saves your sanity? 🤔

A few of mine:

✨ Grocery pickup. Because taking kids into a grocery store is just a hostage negotiation with snacks.

✨ Double dinner. If I'm already cooking, I'm making enough for work lunch tomorrow too.

✨ The 15-minute timer. It's amazing how much cleaning gets done when you're pretending you're on a game show! I also take a picture of the room I want to clean and tell Chad she BT show me how to clean this in 15 minutes. It works great!

✨ Emergency car supplies. Snacks, wipes, extra clothes... because somebody is always sticky, hungry, bleeding, or all three.

✨ Getting the kids involved. Sure, it takes longer at first... but eventually they become unpaid interns. 😎

And my personal favorite: ❤️

✨ The "night before" reset.
Pack lunches.
Find shoes.
Charge devices.
Sign school papers.

Because nothing starts the morning off right like NOT screaming:
"WHERE IS YOUR OTHER SHOE?!" at 6:12am. 🤦‍♀️

Alright parents...

Drop your best life hacks below! 👇

Let's save each other some time, money, and therapy bills. 😂