Grief Journeys

07/22/2026

One day at a time...you are doing it.

07/19/2026

You have to resurrect the deep pain within you and give it a place to live that’s not within your body.
Let it live in art.
Let it live in writing.
Let it live in music.
Let it be devoured by building brighter connections. Your body is not a coffin for pain to be buried in.
Put it somewhere else ...

Ehime Ora ✨

When we engage in Narrative Art Journaling we are giving our grief a place to live.

07/16/2026

This is the essence of Narrative Art Journaling support groups. It is an intentional space where people's grief is witnessed after they have had the opportunity to express it through images and words.

07/15/2026

In this talk, neuroscientist Mary-Frances O'Connor explains that grief isn't a passive phase to "get over," but a form of learning.

How I understand it is: we become accustomed to our reality because our brains are able to hold patterns. It becomes automatic, like driving the same road to work every day and not having to think about when and where to turn anymore. Hypothetically speaking, if something prevents us from using the road we are accustomed to, we will have to concentrate and learn the new route again until it becomes familiar.

The grief journey works in the same way. We have to become accustomed to life without... and learn and adjust to our new reality.

But the amazing thing is our brains are able to adjust to new realities, and we are able to find joy and meaning in the new reality.

We might have to reach out for support, but it is possible.

Mary-Frances O’Connor ponders these questions: Why does it take so ...

07/11/2026

Did you know our biology is involved in our grief journeys? We are wired for stability, and a sudden change in our reality creates a threat response in our bodies. Our body literally sends out "this is wrong, this is dangerous!" signals.

We are creatures of habit and pattern. We yearn for what we know and perceive to be safe.

When the pattern changes suddenly, even for a good reason, our nervous system rebels.

This causes emotional and physical responses. So, if you are adjusting to any big change, understand that it will take time to adjust. Take little steps and have compassion for yourself.

How do I know this? Because of personal experience.

Recently, my daughter became the mother of my beautiful twin grandchildren. They bring so much joy, awe, and wonder.

AND

It changed the amount of time my daughter and I can video call (spend time together). Frequent calls for an hour or longer are no longer a reality; we are lucky if we get 20 minutes, uninterrupted, once a week.

I feel it in my bones...in my heart...in my whole being. The missing...the change...

As I write this, I am aware of mothers whose children died, and my experience doesn't compare. But it helps me to understand loss and grief better. It helps me to understand how much conscious intention it takes to adjust to a new reality.

One step at a time.

07/08/2026

Yes, to all of this!

07/06/2026

Taking a moment to remember my father on his birthday today.
Remembering doesn't bring sadness for me. There was no unfinished business between us.
As I reflect on what I learnt from him I am thankful that he was my father. He was by no means perfect, but at the core of his being he cared deeply about his family. A man of his time...
The tree keeps on growing on the farm where it was planted...

07/05/2026

The expectation that we can be immersed in suffering and loss daily and not to be touched by it is as unrealistic as expecting to be able to walk through water without getting wet. This sort of denial is no small matter. The way we deal with loss shapes our capacity to be present to life more than anything else. The way we protect ourselves from loss may be the way in which we distance ourselves from life and help. We burn out not because we don't care but because we don't grieve.

~ Rachel Naomi Remen

06/24/2026

"That which is placed on the Altar is altered" This quote by Marrianne Williamson conveys a truth about ritual and candle lighting as a way to journey with Grief. It is a way to externalize the pain and leave it at the altar (even if just for a moment).

When we bring our sorrow, anger, memories, hopes, or questions into a sacred space—with intention and openness—we ourselves are changed by the encounter. The loss remains real, but our understanding, our relationship to it, and the meaning we make of it can be transformed.

For thousands of years, people around the world have used fire and light in rituals of mourning, remembrance, and hope. Research suggests mourning rituals can lessen grief by restoring a sense of order and agency after loss. The specific ritual matters less than the act of engaging in it intentionally and meaningfully.

A candle-lighting ceremony is powerful because it gives grief something tangible to do. It transforms memory into action and can bring comfort.

Even when family and friends are separated by distance, lighting candles simultaneously in different homes can create a profound sense of connection.

A flame is small and fragile, yet it pushes back darkness. In times of loss, it reminds us that love, memory, and meaning continue to shine in ways that death cannot extinguish.

I invite you to engage with the following Journaling prompt as a script for a candle lighting ceremony to acknowledge your journey.

I am lighting this candle in remembrance of _______ who has been a part of my journey, whose life and loss has shaped me in the following way…..(write a few thoughts on how their life and loss has shaped you.)
I light it in remembrance of the teachers, mentors, companions and friends who are a part of my club of life and have nurtured me …
(write a sentence or two about how they nurtured you or what they contributed to your life)
I am grateful for ________ (mention the things your are grateful for )
May this journey I am on _______(write a few sentences of encouragement and well wishes toward yourself for the journey ahead)

06/21/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/14g4CwDRPGd/

Grief is one of the most painful human experiences. We talk about the psychological toll, the sadness, the anger, the numbness. We talk about the emotional weight. But we rarely talk about what grief does to the physical body.

Mary-Frances O'Connor, a professor of psychology at the University of Arizona who directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab, has spent her career investigating exactly that . Her research focuses on the neurobiological, cardiovascular, and immune response to bereavement . In The Grieving Body, she answers questions that most people don't even know they should be asking: Can we die of a broken heart? What happens in our bodies when we're grieving? Why are we more prone to illness during times of enormous stress?

This is the follow-up to her acclaimed The Grieving Brain. And like its predecessor, it combines rigorous science with warmth and empathy. The book is illustrated with black-and-white charts and graphs, making the science accessible without dumbing it down.

There are plenty of books about grief. Most focus on the emotional journey, the stages, the coping strategies, the hope for healing. O'Connor doesn't ignore those things, but she takes a different approach. She asks: What is grief doing to your body?

This shift in perspective is crucial. When a person is grieving, they're not just sad. They're experiencing real, measurable physiological changes. Their cardiovascular system is under stress. Their endocrine system is dysregulated. Their immune system is compromised. The book explores the toll loss takes on each of these systems, and the implications for long-term well-being .

O'Connor's background makes her uniquely suited to this work. She holds a PhD in clinical psychology and completed a post-doctoral fellowship in psychoneuroimmunology, the study of how psychological processes affect the nervous and immune systems . She understands the mind and the body, and how they speak to each other.

Five Lessons from the Book

1. Yes, you really can die of a broken heart
This is not a metaphor. Broken heart syndrome, also called stress cardiomyopathy or Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, is a real medical condition. It's often brought on by stressful situations and extreme emotions . A sudden rise in stress hormones like adrenaline can stun the heart muscle, causing symptoms that mimic a heart attack: chest pain, shortness of breath, fainting . Most people recover quickly, but in rare cases, it can be fatal. O'Connor explains the science behind this phenomenon. Grief is not just an emotion. It's a biological event that can literally impact the heart.

2. Grief dysregulates the entire stress response system
The endocrine system, the glands and organs that make and release hormones, controls many important bodily functions, including growth, metabolism, and reproduction. Under normal conditions, it maintains a delicate balance. But grief throws that balance off. Chronic stress from grief keeps the body in a state of high alert. Stress hormones stay elevated. Sleep suffers. The body's systems work overtime, and over time, that takes a toll. The body isn't designed to sustain that level of stress indefinitely.

3. Your immune system takes a hit
Inflammation is a normal part of the body's response to injury or infection, a protective mechanism that triggers an immune response to fight off threats . But chronic inflammation is different. It's an abnormal immune response that doesn't end when it should. Over time, chronic inflammation can damage healthy cells, tissues, and organs, leading to diseases such as cancer, heart disease, diabetes, asthma, Alzheimer's, and autoimmune conditions .

O'Connor's research shows that grief creates conditions for chronic inflammation. The body is in a state of prolonged stress, and the immune system pays the price. This is why grieving people are more susceptible to illness, their defenses are down.

4. Coping behaviors matter, and not all coping is equal
Grief often leads to behaviors that make things worse: poor sleep, poor nutrition, isolation, substance use. These aren't failures of character. They're understandable responses to overwhelming pain. But they also compound the physical toll. O'Connor emphasizes the importance of body budget management, taking care of sleep, nutrition, and physical activity even when it feels impossible. Sleep is essential for body repair and brain maintenance . Nutrition reduces stress and inflammation . Physical activity is the body's natural antidote to stress. When grief makes these things feel pointless, that's exactly when they matter most.

5. Grief is an opportunity for healing, but not in the way you think
The subtitle is bold: "How the Stress of Loss Can Be an Opportunity for Healing." This could easily be read as toxic positivity, but O'Connor means something specific. The stress of grief reveals vulnerabilities in the body. It exposes what was already there, just below the surface. And that knowledge, painful as it is, can be a starting point. Understanding the physiological impact of grief is the first step toward mitigating it. It's not about rushing through grief or pretending it doesn't hurt. It's about recognizing that caring for the body is part of caring for the soul. The research-backed, warm, and empathetic approach O'Connor takes is aimed at helping readers not just survive grief, but understand it deeply enough to heal .

The Grieving Body is a book that answers questions you may not have known you were asking. Why does grief make you exhausted? Why do you get sick more often? Why does everything feel harder? O'Connor provides the science behind those experiences, and in doing so, she validates them.

The stress of loss is not just in your head. It's in your heart, your immune system, your hormones, your entire body. Understanding that doesn't make the pain go away. But it does help. It helps to know that what you're feeling is real, and that there are things you can do to protect yourself while you heal.

O'Connor writes with the authority of a researcher and the empathy of a clinician. She has spent her career studying the physiology of grief, and she brings that expertise to every page. The result is a book that is both informative and deeply reassuring. It says: This is happening to you. It's real. It's hard. And you are not alone.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/4oHPQ75

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