05/22/2026
the last couple months were filled with restored hope, big faith, and bottled-up moments of pure joy waiting to be shared.
until an ordinary tuesday morning came along, and the heartbeat ceased to exist.
after years of infertility, pregnancy loss, and failed IVF, God blessed us with a miracle. we truly thought this was it. that it was finally our time. that the years of holding onto faith through every storm were finally being redeemed in the way we had prayed for.
but you can’t faith your way into a timeline that isn’t meant for you.
and just like that, we gained another angel baby in Heaven.
& this is the part no one talks about… life doesn’t stop. there’s no funeral. there’s no proper goodbye. you just wake up from a nightmare in a hospital bed alone & disoriented. and as you start to come to, and your husband’s finally allowed in the room, it all starts to hit you, why you’re here, what you’ve lost. hardly anyone even knew this person existed. but for us, they were the most important person in our world.
I don’t know how much grief the human heart is capable of carrying in one lifetime, but I feel like I’m reaching my limit. In just the last four months, we lost all of our embryos and now a pregnancy. my body, heart, mind, and spirit are carrying more sadness than I know how to hold.
God is good, and I know there is blessing in the breaking, somehow, someway.
I’m hurting. I’m questioning everything. I’m walking through one of the lowest valleys yet again.
but I still believe God is good. I’m still giving him the glory. I’m still staying faithful through the fight. 🙏🏼
