07/01/2026
The day starts the same, setting an intention before the feet hit the floor.
Coffee already brewed and the cup waiting to be filled. I brush past the dining room table to grab some cream on my way to the antique coffee stand.
That table! It’s rarely cleared off. Sometimes it’s piled high with Wild Soul products, upcoming projects, or my over filled bag of scripts, curriculum, and notes. I always notice but I always keep walking.
It’s a privilege to have what I have. I know because I spent more years going without than having enough.
The house, the cars, the material joys, it’s all part of the present story. I’m pretty open about how my life was very different just ten short years ago. Yes, material possessions can be joyful. It’s the attachment to material things that can wreak havoc. I love my physical world but I know deep down that if I had to choose a different path tomorrow, I could. Maybe not without grief for the world I created here, but with understanding that absolutely nothing in this existence is guaranteed.
Now, as I get back to my coffee before the steam rolls off the mug, I will also get back to what led me to share my thoughts today.
As I am heading into the next few months I will be turning the clock forward on another year. A year from now that number will shift an era. I am not sad, or scared, or celebrating getting older. I am in awe of how life shifts. Especially when you put thought and intention in how you want to live it.
My life has always been chaotic and just hard. Internal turmoil with external struggles was all I ever knew.
It wasn’t until I made the conscious decision to change me, that I found me. I changed everything about my previous life, by embracing the truth I found within myself. I changed so much that people from back in the day wouldn’t recognize me now. I may look familiar to them, but they have no idea the differences I’ve made.
I sit here now with my coffee turning chill and my heart completely full. For the first time in my life, I am safe.
If you have ever experienced trauma as a child you will understand the emotion behind those words. Safety is so much more than the roof over my head and locked door at night. Safety means not looking around corners for the next threat. Safety means trusting your partner. Safety means having friends that show up for you behind your back. Safety means the utilities aren’t in notice.
Safety is the soft inhale without restriction. Safety is the nervous system regulating.
With it comes clarity - gratitude - accomplishment - and most of all, peace.
I owe a lot of this transformation to my husband Charlie. Not because he changed me. But because he created an environment for me, where it was safe for me to love me too. He was the first human on this planet that proves to me everyday that I’m worth it. He shows me through his actions that I am safe, loved, and needed. Without even knowing it, he pushes me to be the very best version of me.
I pushed back hard against the whole world around me because I always felt like it had it out for me. One day I just came to the realization that it was me. I was fighting the mirror the entire time.
I didn’t like the reflection, so I changed my perspective of it.
That doesn’t mean I created the childhood that broke me. That doesn’t mean I created the abuse that shamed me. It isn’t about blame, it’s accountability.
It means I get to make a choice about how it defines me.
I am who I am meant to be. Accepting myself as I am allows me to align with the ones that are for me. I didn’t just wake up one day and my life fell into peace. I had to choose peace. Some days that choice is really hard. Some days I want to confront the world for its hurtful ways. Instead I choose my peace over all things. Instead I choose to love the souls that love me honestly.
Now, my coffee is almost gone. The cup has gone cold. The story shifts and bends as the squirrels begin to structure their day.
I’ll close with this.
If you don’t have peace in your life, begin creating it.
One moment at a time.
One choice at a time.
One mirror at a time.
Replacing the mirror doesn’t change how you feel about the image reflecting back at you.
Adjusting how you perceive the reflection, changes how you experience the mirror.
