08/01/2026
The first part is stupid, but EVERYTHING the therapist Dr says after her client says:
"I need to know more..."
is 💯 on point‼️
Sage wisdom it took a long time to learn... Guess that's why it's Sage?
😭😭😅😂🤣
1. Leave at betrayal. Nothing else to know.
2. Move yo fu**in' feet, girl!
I chose to live in my SUV unsheltered in the dead of winter, without proper supplies, while medically vulnerable, and zero money nor a support network... OVER supposed "security" of a husband making 6 figures who I knew would take all the belongings I was forced to abandon... due to zero support network and he removed my access to our marital funds.
I knew my SANITY & SOBRIETY were at stake, nevermind my physical safety at many times... of which he's now serving a sentence over the Domestic Violence charge against me...
Someone told me to contact my Mother & Father.
Yes, I did.
The person said I should ask to go live with them until things got better.
I replied that I can hardly speak to them regularly, due to our strained relationship, and I know I won't stay Sane nor Sober if I must deal with either one for any stretch of time.
I've worked a solid sobriety recovery program, have chaired AA meetings over 6 hours a week (virtually), have had dozens of sponsees AND sponsors, and eventually found my home at Recovery Dharma & Refuge Recovery "rooms"... and I'll tell ya that when you've attempted making amends innumerable times (the ones who let me) AND you're the only one taking accountability... you're the one who's told isn't remembering things right... you're the only one making repairs & changes in themSelves in attempt to offer an olive branch...
when nothing else you do is ever good enough for praise... yet, even minor mistakes are met with silence as punishment...
A person reaches their limits and comes to realize their energy should be redirected toward a healthier environment.
I vividly remember telling my therapist at the time (different than my current one) about my Mother giving me the "silent treatment" for weeks and I had zero clue about what...
I'm intuitive and usually have a hint...
When she eventually told me what she was angry about... She had mistaken a Recovery Daily Devotional that I used to post all the time.
She thought it was me telling a family secret and calling her a bad mother...
I guess she was so upset that she didn't read to the end, because it was always a copy/paste with credit provided at the bottom of every Devotional... because I sourced up to 5-7 daily.
I always try to credit my sources.
When I texted her to go read it again, and I explained it's a Devotional... can you believe she totally changed the subject - after leaving me "on read" longer than a pregnant pause...
Pretending our convo never even happened.
My therapist said:
"No wonder you see me twice weekly!"
🤦♀️ I'm out here funding psych teams' car notes...
Before I step off my soapbox, I'll say that a woman shouldn't have to give details to ANYONE to explain why she chose HER CAR over a house.
"The Bear", essentially 🤷♀️
Especially since I've been under the care of a huge medical team AND psych team... verifying that I'm not KooKoo for Cocoa Puffs.
*I have Complex PTSD from Traumas.
Yes, it's capital T.
Relational AND medical-based.
Additionally... between all of my weekly testing, appointments, and ER visits... as well as during my earlier 2026 PTSD treatment:
There's been zero positive alcohol / drug test (for anything not prescribed).
🤔🤔
So, why did I run... with hardly anything to my name⁉️
3 weeks after major lifesaving surgery⁉️
