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Ride For Ryder, 1227 Belvidere Road, Port Deposit, MD (2026)

09/11/2026

In the Ratliff house, everyone knows if this scene is on the TV, it's usually cookie baking day, pulling totes out of the attic day, or Ryder and I are just needing a pick me up day.
Now, it's September and big Jason won't be allowing totes to come out of the attic anytime soon. But Ryder and I are both dealing with a cold. A cold is something everyone gets around this time of year. But to Ryder it could mean so much worse.
I got to go to work last night for the first time in almost two months and I worried the whole time how Ryders temperature would handle through the evening. I'm not going to lie, there were a few text messages between Dad and I that brought some anxiety about if I would need to come home and us head to the hospital. Yes, the hospital over a cold. What your simple cold means and a cold for Ryder is two completely different scenarios.
He held out through the night without a (fever). Which in the oncology world is 100.4. I felt like I didn't sleep at all last night. Between my own cold keeping me up and my anxiety waking up every 30 minutes to check his temperature.
So today, we get to hang around the house with the ac on making sure his body stays cool, cleaning up around here and listening to Christmas music because it brings Ryder and I joy. What I've learned over the past 7 months is, it doesn't matter what others do or think of you. If you want to sip on your pumpkin spice creamer in July, do it! If you want to sip on a margarita in December, do it! If you want to decorate for Christmas in September, do it! Do what brings you joy, not what it brings others. Because by now, it may be old news to everyone about Ryder, since it's been 7 months. But we live this every single day. You would think, I could hold my together by now, but I can't. A simple "how's Ryder doing?" Can break me in a second. Some days I can hold a conversation about him and be strong, and other days I can't.
Monday Ryder will be admitted to the hospital for the week to start his next phase of blinatumomab again. Blinatumomab is immunotherapy. He will be accessed and hooked to a bag for 28 straight days of continuous immunotherapy. Hoping because of his cold his lab work will be ok to start. If not, we hold off until the cold is gone and labs are high enough. Please keep our family in your prayers as we head into some really hard phases of treatment in Oct- Dec smack dab cold/flu season. 🧡🎗️🧡🎗️

09/10/2026

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month 🎗️ Go Gold for every child battling what they never should have to. This here, is Port access. This is what gets shoved into Ryders chest every single time he gets accessed. 🎗️

08/15/2026

Hey everyone, I wanted to come on here and update everyone. I typically write an update while we are admitted for Ryders next admission, but this past week has been hard.

Hard Emotionally
Hard physically
Hard mentally

This past week was one of the hardest weeks I've had since Ryders diagnosis. We were scheduled to go in for Ryders 3rd methotrexate admission out of 4. We expected to stay about 5 days due to the fact that this admission also included a spinal. So therefore, that meant with the spinal it would be pretty late getting the chemo started Monday evening.
Not going too far into detail, Ryder was given something by the anesthesiologist that he's never had before. Never seen this anesthesiologist before, and he didn't know Ryder like I do, like ALL the OR nurses do, and like his Drs do. He made the decision to give him something different that caused Ryder to have a very traumatic reaction to, that I don't ever want to have to see again. It brought out a side of me that his nurses and Drs have never seen before, and a formal complaint written up. Ryder was able to wake up from his spinal and unfortunately remembers every bit of the traumatic reaction, that we were hoping he wouldn't remember. We were taken to our room, hooked up to vincristine & methotrexate and got the ball rolling. The chemo part of this admission was the easiest part. It was smooth sailing, and Ryder cleared the methotrexate faster than he's ever cleared it before. We got through the chemo without any nausea and we're hoping for a smooth discharge. Until:
He got hammered again. In the past 7 months Ryder has gotten so exhausted taking so many pills every day that his doctors offered a IV infusion of an antibiotic that would cover him for a whole month. Less pills. Less aggravation towards me. He did great last month, with a small amount of feeling groggy but was able to shake it a few hours later. It didn't go so smooth this time around, and once again another reaction to his antibiotics. Whole body chills, shaking, vomiting, headache so bad he was loosing his balance if he stood. The antibiotics were running a lot slower this round because he felt so groggy last time that they extended the time X2 but obviously it didn't work. They stopped it immediately and wanted to give his body a break. It took the entire day for him to start feeling better. I said enough is enough. We've had enough this admission.

We then got hit a third time. Labs showed his IgG levels were tanked. With all his chemo and immunotherapy, it has wiped out all his antibodies. They came to me explaining they wanted to give him an IVIG infusion to help with any type of viruses/bacterial infections. After lots of thinking and asking questions his Drs didn't know the answers to (because I am probably the parent that has asked more questions than any other parent), we decided enough was enough this go round. At this point they were asking for a third bad reaction. IVIG comes with side effects of its own, fever, chills, headaches, nausea, reaction to thousands of other people's antibodies being infused into him. So why ask for a third bad reaction? They were 100% on board with what I was saying and agreed, it was time to go home, get some real food in him, get some sunshine, see his dog and get some real rest. We would reconvene on the conversation of the IVIG his next admission.

Ryder typically comes home from his admissions and heads back to as normal of a childhood as possible. Playing, swimming, and hanging out with Carter. But unfortunately this hasn't been the case. He has felt so nauseous being home and it makes me feel so defeated.

I hate this. I hate all of this. I f**ken hate cancer! This is the raw and ugly of what people don't see. I hate every minute of this. It has been 7 months and nothing gets any easier. If anything, it gets harder. It takes every ounce of energy out of me to walk into the cancer clinic every week and see all the children that shouldn't be there. None of these kids deserve this.

08/05/2026

3rd time's a charm right? Let's hope 🤞 so, because I've written this post 3Xs now and each time it has disappeared when I hit post.

Last Monday Ryder was admitted for his 2nd admission during this phase called Interim Maintenance 1. He's down 2 and 2 more to go! Last week was much better than the first go round since we figured out a good combo for nausea. He never felt sick but was extremely tired. He has high dose methotrexate along with vincristine. Each time he gets vincristine it affects his eyes for a week or so being blurry and sometimes causing his eyes to cross more so than normal. It was hard watching him just want to lay in the hospital bed and not be in the teen gaming room like he usually is. The doors open at 10am and he's typically there until 6pm when the gaming room closes. He laid in bed quite a bit this go round face timing with his bestie Carter for most of the admission. With HD MTX, his labs and urine are checked multiple times a day to make sure his body is clearing it the way it should. He did pretty good and we were able to escape University of Maryland on Thursday to head out for a little camping, since we haven't been able to do anything all summer. We came home packed up the camper, grabbed Ryders bestie and got on the road. We head back for #3 admission for HD MTX next week. Some pictures of our weekend.

07/28/2026

Ryders Picture is being posted on the wall at this year's Cure fest 2026.
CureFest for Childhood Cancer is a global event that brings together thousands of individuals and organizations from around the world, both in-person and virtually. Hundreds of childhood cancer foundations attend CureFest in-person in Washington, DC, where they come together as One Voice against childhood cancer.

07/27/2026

Just a quick update:

I know a few people have been asking for updates lately, so I've got a quick one for once.
Ryder has been home for the past week and half. He's been swimming with me and dad, he's gone fishing a few times this week, and he's of course spent a lot of time with his bestie Carter.
Ryder was due for his second admission dose of high dose methotrexate on Wednesday last week but once we got here with ALL of our suitcases and other bags that we pack up for 4-5 days or so, his labs weren't good enough for chemo. His neutrophil count was too low, so we paused on his chemo at home and they scheduled us to come back and try again today.
We packed everything back up again and headed back down here this morning, once again we were struck with his labs being juuuust below the threshold of when he can have chemo. His oncology team felt his monocytes were still elevated, which is good news and they would be turning into neutrophils. They took another round of labs and those came back just fine for chemo.
Ryder is currently napping as the chemo runs for the next 22 hours. Last time Ryder was so miserably nauseous and sick with this chemo that he could barley get out the bed. We are hoping 🤞 the nausea meds work this time since we found a pretty good one that worked for him a couple weeks ago.
We're planning quick trip camping this weekend but we'll see when we get to bust outta here and get discharged. It all depends on when his body is able to clear the HD MTX.
I will update everyone later this week with how Ryder is doing and handling the meds this week. We could use all the prayers for an easy admission this time around. Prayers for Ryders body to handle this strong chemo, while having some patience. His moods have been all over the place lately, which is typical according to his doctors and other parents going through the same process. I could use some prayers as well for this week. I try so hard to stay strong at home and suck up every emotion I feel and just go through the day doing everything I possibly need to do, not only for Ryder but for everyone else at home, but the emotional toll hits me every time we come here. My body just lets go of everything I hold in while we are at home, and it just pours out at the hospital. I'm mentally exhausted. 🎗️🧡🎗️🧡

07/11/2026

Hey Everyone 👋

Forgive me, I kinda suck at updating, and when I do, I feel like I write a whole book. We've been admitted to the hospital since Tuesday, and things get so hectic around here during the day, that I'm exhausted in the evenings and haven't had the energy to update.

On Tuesday July 7th, we were scheduled for an admission for a minimum of 4 days to start the next phase of treatment called Interim Maintenance 1, which includes High Dose Methotrexate (chemo), along with a lumbar puncture. This phase is 9 weeks long, and we will be admitted every other week. Ryder will spend more time in the hospital this summer than at home.

I had a feeling the HD MTX (high dose methotrexate) was going to be rough. And I was most definitely right. If you all remember, I've mentioned a few times that Ryder typically has a high heart rate than most kids. He is usually between 90-120. We came in Tuesday to the oncology clinic and his HR was 101, we got labs and they sent us on our way to get his lumbar puncture/ spinal. That's when they check his spinal fluid for any leukemia cells and put chemo in his spine. This has become a very familiar procedure for Ryder as he's had more than I can count now. He came out of his LP still sleeping like any other child coming out the OR and his heart rates were in the 50s, I was told it was normal for anesthesia to slow the heart rate down, but this was something new. I'd never seen his HR that low. He took 3 hours to wake up before we were taken up to our room where we'd be all week.
We got up to our room and they started 2 chemos. Vincristine and HD MTX at 9 pm, along with his chemo pill, Mercaptopurine. That's FOUR types of chemo in one day. It's insane. The minute they started the HD MTX, Ryder was beyond nauseous, dizzy and light headed. Along with his eyes hurting. The vincristine really messes with his eyes. That night I kept checking his heart rates and they were staying in the 50s even when he was awake. When sleeping they dropped down to 47. I was beyond uncomfortable with that and kept asking why his HR was so low. They kept reminding me, anesthesia, and that it's not dangerous low but still in normal range. His Dr did reassure me that she understood why I was uncomfortable, because she knows it's not Ryders normal.
A complete repeat the next day, nauseous, dizzy, eyes hurting, low heart rates. FINALLY, after the methotrexate ran for 24 hrs and it was finished Wednesday night around 11pm, we got his nausea under control and he was able to sleep more comfortable. They started a drug called leucovorin, which helps the healthy cells after methotrexate, to prevent neuro toxicity. MTX can most definitely cause neuro toxicity, along with the kidneys. So they've ran many many bags of fluids to try to get him to p*e as much as possible. Thursday we started seeing better heart rates and he started feeling much better, but still no explanation on the low heart rates, even after a EKG. And today, we had hoped of coming home but it didn't happen. His body has not cleared enough of the MTX for them to send us home, so we're stuck until that happens. We are learning this new curve/phase and now understand, pack more in the suitcases because you just never know when his body will clear it and we will get to leave.
Until then, Ryder is staying busy in the teen gaming room to stay occupied during the day. Hopefully we get better sleep when we get home, because there's no such thing as sleep in the hospital. Alarms and pumps beeping all hours of the night, nurses and techs coming in for vitals and meds. It's so exhausting 😩.
I'm thankful for all his nurses, but especially our favorite nurse, that we got to have today. I don't mean to pick favorites, but we absolutely have a favorite nurse when we are in patient.
As always, please keep Ryder and our family still in your prayers because we still need them. Ryder needs them, I need them, Jason's needs them, and the big kids need them. We are about to head into a rough storm for the next two months and each phase I feel like gets rougher and rougher. It feels like the nightmare that just never ends. If you see me in public, you see the brave fake smile I put on so not everyone has to see the ugly side of this. I might be able to hold a 5 minute conversation in public, but ask me on a deeper level about how Ryder is doing or how I am holding myself together and I will break down. This life isn't fair for Ryder and all we want is our healthy boy back and being able to do all the things any other 10 yr old boy is able to do. We've seen what prayer can do already, putting him technically in remission, but this chemo is so strong on his little body and it's heartbreaking watching him feel so sick, over the next 3 years. It's heartbreaking watching him not be allowed to ride his dirt bike, or play in the stream in our backyard, or go swimming in the creek, like all my kids have done since I can remember. It's heartbreaking watching him watch his older brother hop on his dirt bike and go ride in our trails like Ryder used to be able to do.

So until I get I the energy to write the next update, please just pray for us. 🧡🧡🧡

07/01/2026

Hey everyone 👋

It's been awhile since I've updated, but it's been a busy last few weeks. Ryder started the blinatumomab bag on June 2nd. We were told June was going to be a good month, he would have more energy, better appetite and just overall feel better. Unfortunately, everyone writes their own story and Ryder was a complete opposite. Blinatumomab was hard on Ryder. He was nauseous more in June then he has been throughout this journey so far. He vomited more times than I could count, and overall he felt like crap. His appetite got so bad they started talking to us about an appetite enhancer at two appointments. Thankfully this past week, he's been eating more and we said goodbye to the blue bag of Blina that he's been carrying around for 28 consecutive days. Yesterday he was disconnected. He is completely free of any tubing for the next week. His poor chest is tore up from all the tegaderm patches because he's allergic to tape. Ryder did get to be outside all day Sunday for his big sisters graduation party, and was so excited to catch some fish. Once he was disconnected yesterday our first question was, "can he go swimming?" And we got a YES! So we came home, Invited his best friend Carter to come over, and they swam their hearts out like kids are supposed to do in the summer. I sat by the pool in shock just thinking, this is what childhood is supposed to look like. Not hooked up to tubes, machines, getting blood draws every 24 hrs, vitals every 4, this is what my boy is supposed to be doing. For the next week, we are free of clinic visits, Drs and chemo. We are freeee, at least it feels like it. Next week Ryder and I will be admitted to the hospital to start the next phase called Interim Maintenance 1. Which includes high dose methotrexate, along with a spinal, oral chemo and another chemo he has had multiple times. This phase I'm a bit scared of. At this point I should be used to the intensive phases but I'm not, each phase brings something new and I can't imagine it getting any worse. Consolidation was rough, Blina was rough, and I struggle watching him lay on the couch not wanting to be the boy he always has been. Please keep Ryder and our family in your prayers as the next phase is a 2 month phase and we will be admitted to the hospital every other week for 4 days at a time. 1/2 our summer will be spent in the hospital.

06/19/2026

Hey everyone, check this out. Another way to help Ryder. Beauty with Bethany🫶🏻🧡

Ride For Ryder

09/11/2026

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