Restoration Counseling of Rochester

Restoration Counseling of Rochester Offering counseling services for adolescents, young adults, adults and families. Specialties include EMDR, Internal Family Systems, CBT and DBT.

It’s tulip time over in Holland - and that always makes me think of this poignant poem. I’ve shared it with many. It’s w...
04/21/2026

It’s tulip time over in Holland - and that always makes me think of this poignant poem. I’ve shared it with many. It’s written to describe preparing for the birth of a special needs child but I think it’s applicable to many unforeseen changes that happen in our lives. Let me know what you think…

When we say someone has “cold feet,” we’re usually describing that moment they get nervous or scared right before a big ...
04/15/2026

When we say someone has “cold feet,” we’re usually describing that moment they get nervous or scared right before a big decision—but the phrase also lines up eerily well with what actually happens in the body. Physiologically, cold feet can come from poor circulation, temperature‑related blood‑vessel changes, or stress and anxiety ramping up the “fight‑or‑flight” response; all of these can make our extremities feel colder just when we’re feeling emotionally unsettled.
When we’re anxious or under stress, the sympathetic nervous system kicks in, releasing adrenaline and constricting blood vessels in the hands and feet. This shifts blood toward core organs (heart, brain, lungs), which can leave our feet feeling cold, tingly, or clammy—even in a warm room. At the same time, stress‑related sweating, hyperventilation, and muscle tension can further cool the skin and sharpen our awareness of that “cold feet” sensation.
The idiom “getting cold feet” captures that double layer: emotionally, it reflects hesitation, fear of commitment, or losing nerve (like backing out of a wedding, job, or hard conversation). Physically, the very same emotions can trigger the body to prioritize survival over comfort, pulling warmth away from the feet and toward vital organs—so the “cold feet” feeling becomes both a metaphor and a real bodily experience.
If you’ve ever felt those cold feet before a talk, a boundary conversation, or a big life step, remember: it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It often means your body is trying to protect you, and your mind just needs support to warm those feet up and move forward anyway.

Someone sent this to me today - I thought it was so lovelyA REMINDERYou don’t have to be productive, and you don’t have ...
04/08/2026

Someone sent this to me today - I thought it was so lovely

A REMINDER

You don’t have to be productive, and you don’t have to change the world. You're already so loved.
You don't have to be smart. You don't have to be simple. You don't have to read all the right books by the right people. You're already so loved.
You don't have to be beautiful and thin with an articulated and ironic fashion sense, not at all. But if you're into that kind of thing, well, that's okay, too. You don't have to be healthy in your mind or in your body. You don't have to be in full-time vocational ministry. You can watch horrible television, or you can be proud of your televisionless home. You can be artistic or scientific. You can spend your life travelling to meet beautiful people or you can live and die in the town where you were born.
You don't have to conform to someone else's ideas of holy or acceptable. You can be from the wrong side of the tracks or the gated community, suburbs or urban or rural. You can work with your hands and your mind, your back and your brain. You don't have to be educated, not at all. You don't have to have a degree or letters after your name. You don't have to know the right people and boast a carefully curated Instagram feed with the famous and the beautiful and the influential. You don't have to be conservative, and you don't have to be liberal. You don't have to identify with certain political persuasions or ideology on sexuality or science or socioeconomics or foreign policy. You can be a social justice warrior or, you know, not.
None of that moves the meter of your belovedness. God won't say, Okay, now I love her just a bit more because, look, she is finally out of debt or thin or powerful or influential or tireless.
Your family story can be beautiful or terrible—or, like most of us, a bit of both. Perhaps you're famous or well-known or influential, that's okay. Perhaps you are quiet and unknown, maybe you hate that, maybe you love it. You don't have to be a mother or a father, you don't have to be married, you don't have to be single, you don't have to want children or raise children. You don't have to be sober or clean. You don't have to give away everything you own and take a vow of poverty; you don't have to be prosperous either. Church or no church or a certain kind of church only, whatever.
You can doubt or feel great certainty (even if that certainty is in your doubt). You can believe in God, doubt God, seek God. You can be someone well acquainted with unanswered prayers. You can carry chronic pain or dance through life. You can be introverted or extroverted. You don't have to love yourself or even like yourself, you are loved. Whether your life looks well put together from the outside while hiding a hot mess inside or vice versa, sometimes on the same day, you are loved. Morning lark, night owl, sinner, saint, child of God, siblings all of us, we are loved.
You have nothing to prove. You have nothing to earn. Sure, any one of those things might change because you are loved. You may know already where God wants to breathe change and wholeness into you, bringing your life more into line with the person you were meant to be all along.
Love can and does and will transform us in every way—our ideology, our opinions, our habits, our values, our priorities, our very names. But it's not a prerequisite or a requirement, it's not behavior modification, it never is, not for Love.
Love has happened and it is happening and it will happen. It is kind and patient towards you.
You're already so loved, you aren't earning a breath of love or tenderness more than what you already have just by breathing—just by existing, just by being here in the wonder. Your name is already written in the lines of the hands of the universe. You're star-breath-of-dust, and you are beloved, intimately, faithfully, wholly. It's your lifelong rock. You are known. You are loved with delight and abundance, with choice and desire, with covenantal love.
You may feel it or not.

YOU ARE SO LOVED.
You are so loved.
You are so loved.

Bessey, Sarah (2021). A Rhythm of Prayer: A Collection of Meditations for Renewal

Have you ever tried to hold back tears and felt a tight pressure rise in your throat? That’s not your imagination — it’s...
04/07/2026

Have you ever tried to hold back tears and felt a tight pressure rise in your throat? That’s not your imagination — it’s called the globus sensation.
When powerful emotions surge, your body activates its stress response — the same system that kicks in during fight or flight. Stress hormones like adrenaline flood your body, tightening muscles in your neck and throat. At the same time, your nervous system tries to draw in more oxygen, keeping the glottis (the airway opening between your vocal cords) wider than usual.
But when you swallow or try to stifle emotion, other muscles push to close that same opening. Two sets of muscles — working in opposite directions — create that familiar “lump in the throat” feeling. It’s not actually a lump, but the sensation of tension and constriction in the throat.
In other words, the body literally braces itself against crying — a poetic reminder that emotion is written into our biology.
And when we finally allow ourselves to cry, everything releases: tears wash away tension, breathing deepens, and our physiology resets. So next time it happens, remember — that lump isn’t weakness. It’s your body trying to hold back the wave. Letting it flow can be the healthiest choice of all.

Our emotions speak through our bodies — and even through our language. I thought it would be interesting to do a few pos...
03/31/2026

Our emotions speak through our bodies — and even through our language. I thought it would be interesting to do a few posts about emotional idioms and the science behind them.
Have you ever wondered why we say we have “butterflies in our stomach”? This common phrase captures a real mind-body connection. When we feel nervous or excited, the body shifts into “alert” mode — adrenaline increases, blood flow diverts from the digestive system, and we feel a fluttering sensation in the gut.
If you want to read a bit more here’s a link…https://psychologily.com/butterflies-in-the-stomach/

It’s that time of year when many people start thinking about spring cleaning their house… but have you ever thought abou...
03/25/2026

It’s that time of year when many people start thinking about spring cleaning their house… but have you ever thought about doing the same for your mind? Spring cleaning your mind is about decluttering your thoughts and emotions to enhance your mental well-being. This process can help you release negativity, reduce stress, and improve focus.
Some of the benefits of this include:
Improved Focus: Clearing your mind can help you concentrate better on tasks.
Reduced Stress: Letting go of negative thoughts can lower anxiety levels.
Enhanced Creativity: A clear mind fosters creative thinking and problem-solving.
Techniques include:
1. Journaling
Writing down your thoughts can help organize and release overwhelming feelings. It allows you to reflect on your emotions and identify areas that need attention.
2. Meditation
Practicing meditation can calm your mind and improve your emotional health. It encourages mindfulness, helping you to focus on the present and reduce distractions.
3. Setting Boundaries
Establishing limits on your time and energy can prevent mental clutter. Learn to say no to commitments that drain you and prioritize what truly matters.
4. Tackling Negative Thoughts
Challenge negative self-talk and replace it with positive affirmations. This shift can significantly improve your mental outlook.
Give it a try and let me know what you think...

It seems to me that a lot of life boils down to a choice of whether to be kind (or not).  Choose kind...
03/21/2026

It seems to me that a lot of life boils down to a choice of whether to be kind (or not). Choose kind...

I’m so proud to be a social worker - a profession that emphasizes (1) service, (2) social justice, (3) dignity and worth...
03/17/2026

I’m so proud to be a social worker - a profession that emphasizes (1) service, (2) social justice, (3) dignity and worth of the person, (4) importance of human relationships, (5) integrity, and (6) competence. Today is world Social Work day - a great opportunity for me to do a shout out to all my peers doing small (and large) acts of great love with others today - keep up the good work (and then take a moment for you)!!

03/09/2026

Good Monday Morning everyone - are you enjoying the sunshine??? Just a quick reminder that I’m speaking at this conference on Saturday - if you are struggling with How to Forgive (yourself or others) this talk may help (I hope)!!

If you know me (or just about any other therapist =) - we’re always preaching about self-care.  Just curious… what self-...
02/24/2026

If you know me (or just about any other therapist =) - we’re always preaching about self-care. Just curious… what self-care do you find it hardest to practice (and why - if you’re being brave about answering =)!

Address

500 Canal View Boulevard
Rochester, NY
14623

Opening Hours

Monday 10am - 6pm
Tuesday 10am - 6pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 8am - 2pm

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