06/15/2026
I’m not writing as often as I used to. It seems there’s not much new or not happening as often. Writing catch-up posts seems to work better than frequent posts. This means posts will be longer, most likely.
So. Where did we leave off? He had a ‘job’, of sorts. He wasn’t interested in doing the work they suggested. Did they try something different? No. They just let it be for now.
We had a team meeting in early May. The administrator of the facility was interested in making big changes in his treatment plan. She touched on those changes at the meetings and we planned to talk more the next day.
What her team had talked about was that he needed to take part in his own recovery. I’ve been talking to him about this for several weeks. I tell him that I can’t do things for him that would help him get out sooner. I need him to want to do the work, too. I know that’s hard but it’s necessary.
His main goal is to get out of the facility. He wants to come home. He can’t come home until he graduates from the program. He needs the skills he can learn there if he wants to succeed in the community. It’s necessary, for him and for me.
So, the team plan is to reward him for doing certain things and encourage him to do more. He hasn’t been doing many groups. He tends to isolate in his room, reading and sleeping. The plan now is to incentivize him with fast food. I bring a meal and a drink when I visit once a week. He loves that and really looks forward to the food.
The plan is for me to only bring food if he achieves the goal set for him by the team. If he earns 10 points in a week, I’ll bring him a drink. If he makes it to 15 points, I’ll bring a meal and a drink. He can do this, I’m sure.
My first reaction was why does he need to ‘earn’ a meal for a visit with me? It’s a family visit, not a treatment session. So that threw me off. I felt uncomfortable being placed in that position. It hit me wrong. But in the long run, it has to be done. I have been encouraging him to do groups. And having activities that bring him out of his room so he can learn life skills.
I sat on the situation for a bit and realized that I need to work with the team. It’s a good plan, and I support it. I’m getting older and can’t do as much to help him as I used to. I need him to gain life skills and participate in his future.
The plan is to gradually move incentives higher. The first week, he needs to do 10-15 groups/points. The second week, it goes up to 15-20, the following week requires 20-27.
Twenty-seven points per week is the minimum needed for the program. If he can maintain 27 points for four weeks straight, he moves up to level two. He’ll get more privileges, including being allowed to go on group walks, getting door dash (from the administrator), and maybe an outing with me. That should motivate him!
At least they are working with him and are being fair about it. They have two psychiatry trainees (?) that seem excellent. He likes them. I hope they can help with this plan, too.
His med adjustments are ongoing. The changes are being made gradually. He was very withdrawn during our last visit. He said he had a lot on his mind. I think that’s what he says now when the spirits are bothering him. It’s so hard to have a conversation with him. He’s distracted. Inside his own head. We’re unable to have conversation.
I stopped taking my phone. He would use it to shop and to look up info about aliens, vampires, etc. Those topics feed his delusions. I had to stop. He’s not happy about that, but he’s so delusional. I told him this was going to happen (leaving the phone in the car) and he seems ok with it. I’m sure staff will help with that, too. We all have a common goal: life skills and graduating from the program. Well, that’s the team goal. His goal isn’t the same. But his main goal of coming home can only be met by working with us to achieve his goal.
Of course there will be setbacks. On all sides. He has a frequent delusion that he’s a vampire. It’s harmless but consistent. The admin knows this. She doesn’t want his delusions to be reinforced or triggered. I agree. My FM called me a couple of days ago. He told me he’s a lycanthrope (werewolf) now. Alrighty. I asked him where he learned about werewolves.
They played the movie Twilight for the residents. This is why he assumed the delusion of being a werewolf. That was not a good film choice for my FM. I have to shake my head. Sigh.
In his first week on this plan, he achieved 11 points. That’s pretty good and he met the requirement of 10 points. He earned a soda. He seemed ok with that. He asked about the food, and I reminded him he didn’t get enough points for a meal, but that he can do it for the next visit. I know he likes Vitamin Water, so I asked him if that’s what he’d like me to bring him. He was happy because he hadn’t had one in a while. He called me a couple of times before our visit to make sure that I’d bring him vitamin water. He was excited! That tells me the incentive might work.
His points come out every Tuesday. I hope he makes it this week. I’m pretty sure the requirement increases each week, so he needs to progress.
Wish him luck! Send him good thoughts!
