08/03/2026
Here's my take on something you've probably seen on the media recently...curious to get others' thoughts! (Warning, long passionate post ahead 🙃).
I'm a child/teen ED therapist (not exclusively, and only with certain subtypes I have training and confidence in treating--mostly AN restrictive type). I have teenagers on my caseload who look up to this woman and are starting to glamorize this. Many people who are saying it's wrong to comment on her appearance or saying it's perpetuating focus on women for aesthetic purposes or body shaming. None of that is what I see from within my circle or from what I see online. What we ARE talking about is the message being sent to younger kids that this is a healthy person whose appearance is of no alarm. That is simply not true. Our children are watching.
She's not just a random woman on the street. She is a famous singer and role model to young girls who is actively out there in clothing that accentuates her severe emaciation, in the extremely public eye. Turning a blind eye shows kids that is normal and expected. *Nothing* about her weight is normal or expected. That is the body of what I would expect to see in inpatient units of eating disorder units with patients brainstarved, significantly malnourished and being g-tubed against their will.
Many people don't realize this, but anorexia nervosa is one of THE most deadly mental health issues. 5-20% ultimately pass from this illness, with the % rising the longer the person has been suffering and the younger the age of onset. More teens die of eating disorders than type 2 diabetes. It can cause irreparable damage to hearts, bones, and fertility. I've seen 20 year-olds who recovered but were diagnosed with osteoporosis and infertility after severe AN in their teens. This is not body shaming. These are facts.
Those of us who work with eating disorders are NOT messing around with this. Again--the kids are watching. Staying silent and not calling this out as unhealthy can do direct harm to youth, who are sponges and notice how we respond to this significant appearance change on such a famous person. I really hope she gets the help she needs, both for herself and for all of her young fans who look up to her. 🫂
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P.S. What does calling it out actually mean???
Never with judgment or derisiveness, but with concern and support. An example I'd coach a mom (on its own too long, but I'd recommend taking the spirit of it, and bits and pieces that resonate with your parenting style and family values, and make it your own):
Teen says, "Ari looks sooo awesome in her new video. Did you see it mom"
Mom is curious not critical (even though she may be freaking out in her head) and says, "oh yeah? I just saw it and had a different response, what did you like?"
Teen says "she is so skinny, I bet she doesnt eat anything with carbs or fat. It looks so good. I have tummy fat every time I eat something, like a pooch. If I looked like her, I could wear any kind of bikini I wanted."
Mom says "as girls and women, we're really hard on ourselves! When you say pooch I think what you might mean is your stomach is actually full, and it looks different then when it's empty like when you just wake up in the morning. It probably looks different too when you're standing vs when you sit down, or when you have a small after school snack vs a bigger three course dinner. That's actually a normal tummy! Mine does it too, and I bet most of your friends'.
When people look like Ariana, it usually means something's wrong, especially if that's not how they used to look. We may not know what because we're not her friends or family, but we know she needs medical help and support from her fans to encourage her to be healthy. Being able to see somebody's internal frame and bone structure like you can in her video shows us that something's going on that's affecting her health. Our bones are connected to muscles, and we have fat tissue around all of it to protect us and insulate us. It's normal and healthy to have muscles and fat, and can be damaging when we don't have it. It's how our bodies keep us warm in the winter, and running fast when we need to, and how our stomach expands when we want to have a yummy piece of pizza but then gets smaller after we go to the bathroom. All normal.
She is so talented. Right now the way she looks makes me really worried for her health. She's smart and witty and something is making it hard for her to feed herself or get enough calories in, which she'll definitely need to have the energy to write songs and dance around and be a badass musician for the next 30 years.
I'm saying this because I don't want you to see her as a body goal to get to, because she's really ill, honey. It's not our business to know exactly whats going on, but I do hope she gets help.
I'm also really glad you told me what you thought about her video. I know my reaction might be different than yours or your friends'. As your mom, I always want to know what you think (even if we disagree) and I'll always love you no matter what. My job as your parent is to help you be healthy and happy in this big crazy world 🥰"
🙂
Fans and celebs have publicly expressed their concerns for Ariana Grande after her latest music video. 😨
