08/14/2026
“I was taught that keeping quiet kept the peace, until I realized whose peace it was keeping.”
— Dr. Thema Bryant .thema
quoted this during our interview for The Trauma Therapist Podcast and I texted her right after to have her write it out because I was like 1000000%. THIS.
I think this hits especially deeply for those of us living with chronic illness.
Because keeping the peace can become a trauma response.
When we learn that speaking up creates conflict, that having needs makes people uncomfortable, or that other people’s emotions feel safer to manage than our own, we learn to stay quiet. To appease. To push through. To not need too much.
And then those patterns can follow us into chronic illness.
How often do we ignore what our body is telling us?
Push through.
Don’t complain.
Don’t cancel.
Don’t be difficult.
Don’t need so much.
Keep going.
Not because these things caused us to become sick, but because the survival strategies we learned long before illness can still shape how we respond to our bodies and our needs once we are sick.
Sometimes healing means realizing that what once kept us safe may not be what we need anymore.
And maybe we finally get to ask:
Whose peace am I keeping?
This is one of the many things Alanna and I got into during our conversation.
Be sure to check out our interview together! Link is in the bio. 🌀
🎙️