02/15/2026
Here's an unfiltered, unedited photo.
I'm wearing makeup, but i haven't dyed my hair. These are my gray hairs. There aren't a lot and they aren't very long yet, but I decided not to pull them out.
I've never had cosmetic procedures. These are my forehead wrinkles.
Never got that nose job to straighten it out, even after that first appt with a new primary care doc who squinted and turned his head to the side and said, "so you didn't want to fix your nose after you broke it?" and I looked back at him, confused. "I don't know if I ever broke my nose."
I might have when I was a goalie for my soccer team and I got kicked in the face. Or when I tried to break up a fight in college and a guy accidentally thrashed his head into my nose.
But in that moment, in front of a man i'd never met before who was essentially tasked with authorizing a new set of bloodwork to complete an annual check-up, I felt embarrassed and I didn't want him to look at me anymore.
It was a reminder that people do evaluate the appearance of others and it's difficult to be faced with the idea that we should look different or that we should change our appearance.
. . . . .
I was going through my camera roll and found this from a couple of weeks ago and this picture struck me because 5 or 10 years ago i would have deleted it. In that time I've been through a lot. This face, this body, this strength, this endurance got me through a lot. I feel gratitude and peace with my appearance and who I am.
I'll celebrate my 40th birthday this year and I can't help but think about how rare it is to see a woman's natural appearance.
Natural aging.
Unedited photos.
I don't have anything against anyone who changes their physical appearance or edits their images, but i do think it's important that people know what an aging person looks like instead of only seeing people and images that have been edited. And who knows, maybe i'll decide someday to change my appearance but in the meantime I'm accepting that this is the hair, the skin, the face, the nose, the body that i'm in and i feel so much appreciation for this body.