Child neuropsychologist Valentina Paevskaya

Child neuropsychologist Valentina Paevskaya A specialist in early childhood, a practising child psychologist and a neuropsychologist.

09/08/2026

And they get that attention through your genuine interest and involvement. Through your emotional engagement.

And that doesn’t require money.

09/07/2026

Money is an abstract concept ❗️
Children under five do NOT have abstract thinking yet, simply because the areas of the brain responsible for it have not matured.
This means that concepts such as time, death, or infinity are still beyond their understanding.
*You’ve probably noticed how young children confuse yesterday and today, or breakfast and dinner.

Money falls into the same category. For a child under five, money is simply an object. So if we introduce an allowance too early, they perceive it as a toy. Their brain is not yet able to process it differently.

Yes, you can teach a child to count coins and tell different bills apart. Children are generally very easy to teach things by repetition until they become automatic. But there is no need to rush into giving them an allowance.

It is important to wait until the child is old enough to understand the consequences of their decisions and the connection between a choice they make today and an outcome in the future.

Otherwise, we risk creating habits that may take a long time to correct later.

09/05/2026

One of the most harmful pieces of advice you can give a parent is to teach a child to deal with anger by hitting a pillow with a stick, throwing ice, or smashing plates.

Think about what we are actually teaching the child: when you are angry, hit something.
Break something.
Destroy something.

But a young child does not yet fully understand what is happening inside them. They may not recognize the emotion or understand why they feel this way. Very often, they are simply tired or overstimulated.

Instead of helping them understand what is happening, we focus their attention on the act of hitting or destroying something. We are essentially teaching them: anger = destruction.

And then the child goes out into the world, to preschool, school, the playground. The same pattern can kick in automatically. Except now there may be no pillow, ice, or plate nearby.
There are other children.
There are toys and objects that can be broken.
Who will they hit?
A classmate standing next to them.

When we deliberately connect anger with hitting, throwing, smashing, or breaking things, we ourselves reinforce a pattern of destruction.

09/05/2026

Money is an abstract concept.❗️
Children under five do NOT have abstract thinking yet, simply because the areas of the brain responsible for it have not matured.
This means that concepts such as time, death, or infinity are still beyond their understanding. You’ve probably noticed how young children confuse yesterday and today, or breakfast and dinner.

Money falls into the same category. For a child under five, money is simply an object. So if we introduce an allowance too early, they perceive it as a toy. Their brain is not yet able to process it differently.

Yes, you can teach a child to count coins and tell different bills apart. Children are generally very easy to teach things by repetition until they become automatic. But there is no need to rush into giving them an allowance.

It is important to wait until the child is old enough to understand the consequences of their decisions and the connection between a choice they make today and an outcome in the future.

Otherwise, we risk creating habits that may take a long time to correct later.

09/03/2026

One of the most harmful pieces of advice you can give a parent is to teach a child to deal with anger by hitting a pillow with a stick, throwing ice, or smashing plates.

Think about what we are actually teaching the child: when you are angry, hit something.
Break something.
Destroy something.

But a young child does not yet fully understand what is happening inside them. They may not recognize the emotion or understand why they feel this way. Very often, they are simply tired or overstimulated.

Instead of helping them understand what is happening, we focus their attention on the act of hitting or destroying something.
We are essentially teaching them: anger = destruction.

And then the child goes out into the world, to preschool, school, the playground. The same pattern can kick in automatically. Except now there may be no pillow, ice, or plate nearby. There are other children. There are toys and objects that can be broken. Who will they hit? A classmate standing next to them.

When we deliberately connect anger with hitting, throwing, smashing, or breaking things, we ourselves reinforce a pattern of destruction.

So what if children say “I don’t want to” at first? They just need time to try, figure it out, see their first results, ...
09/02/2026

So what if children say “I don’t want to” at first?

They just need time to try, figure it out, see their first results, and get interested.

Children need an environment of enthusiastic peers — not gadgets 24/7.

08/30/2026

Could she be saying this because she wants to hear that she is beautiful, kind, and smart? That is the first possibility that comes to mind.

But in general, our self-esteem always depends on what we CAN DO. So I would suggest thinking about the following:
▫️What can your daughter do around the house, and what household responsibilities does she have? What can she cook? Does she take care of her own shoes, for example?
▫️How independent is she for her age? What areas of her life is she already fully responsible for? Does she clean her own room? Does she pack everything she needs for her activities by herself?
▫️And what about sports? Where does she have to push herself and see the results of her own effort?

I would also recommend a theater class in this situation. It can help her work through insecurity, anxiety, fear of public speaking, and similar challenges.

08/29/2026

▪️When you have no experience, being afraid is completely normal. Support your daughter and pay for a career coach. It is very important for her to learn how to write a resume and handle job interviews. That will take away much of the fear and give her confidence.

▪️Set a timeline.
Here I’ll share my own experience.
I have two nieces whom I moved from a small town to the capital. I paid for their education and covered their rent for a while. But from the very beginning, I made it clear that every form of support I gave them had an end date. We always agreed on that date in advance, so that by the time it came, the girls would be ready to take over all their own expenses.

I told my sons the same thing:

1. If you go to college, I will support you for as long as you are studying. But starting in your third year, I expect you to get a part-time job and pay for the things you want yourself.

2. If you don’t go to college, you start working. From that point, I will support you for exactly one year, which is enough time to get on your feet, move out, and support yourself from then on.

Here at Valentina Paevskaya we talk about what parents can do to preserve their child’s intrinsic motivation and to teach them how to earn, save, and become independent.

08/28/2026

Don’t scold them, don’t lecture them, but don’t rescue them either.

Give them their next allowance only on the day of the week they normally receive it, and give them exactly the same amount as usual.

Children need to learn that their financial decisions have consequences. And it is completely normal for them to spend everything at once, especially at ages 5–7.
I call the first allowance “practice money.”
It is much better to practice as a child and learn how all this works than to end up living on credit cards as an adult.

At Valentina Paevskaya , we talk about how to:
▪️set clear financial rules within the family;
▪️teach children to value what they already have;
▪️handle the endless “buy me this” and “I want that” when you are tired of giving in;
▪️give allowance the right way, so children learn to save and, later in life, live within their means.

Address

South Plainfield, NJ

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 5pm
Tuesday 9am - 5pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm
Friday 9am - 5pm

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Child neuropsychologist Valentina Paevskaya posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to Child neuropsychologist Valentina Paevskaya:

Shortcuts

Share