06/23/2026
I felt her absence the second I walked out to feed the bottle calves this morning. She owns this job without ever being asked twice. Today it was mine.
Here’s what bottle calf feeding actually looks like — you’ve got multiple calves, no pen, just open yard. The big one finishes before the others is over. That calf comes bulldozing through — trying to headbutt the other calves off their bottles. They’re latching onto your elbow, your leg, your hand, anything they can get their mouths on. And I knew every bit of what was coming before I walked out the door.
So I regulated before I got there. That’s the thing about chaos — it doesn’t wait for you to get yourself together. You have to bring your nervous system with you into the storm, not try to find it once you’re already in the middle of it.
Your nervous system is your foundation. You cannot build a steady life on a chaotic internal state.
Regulate first. Then walk in.
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