CSHarmonyHealth

08/23/2026

I find writing cathartic. And I find people cathartic. I need both the people and the quiet. That is what I learned this week. You know, my son in law once used one word to describe me: determined. I liked it. Then I didn’t like it. Then I liked it again. My mother would probably have called me stubborn. It takes one to know one.

I have been through a lot to become the peaceful and loving person I am today. The women before me taught me the ability to survive, just as the women before them. I inherited more than my eye color and my bodacious body shape. I inherited resilience. At first I used it to survive.

Then I learned how to use it to live my peaceful and loving life I am living today. During times I abandon myself, I remember my grandmother and my mother and I always smile thinking, “You two: thank you, I love you and I miss you.” A picture from the weekend with the love of my life.

08/17/2026

I have built a full life. I have achieved a lot. I have lost people I love. I have changed physically. And yet I sit here thinking: What now? What do I want now? I wonder if any of you are going through that too? And someone ACTUALLY made that cup of coffee for me today...

08/16/2026

I am not trying to fill an empty life. Trust me on that one. I am deciding what I want to do with a very full one. I feel like, GET OUTTA MY WAY! I FINALLY HAVE TIME! I have always been full of it. Full of ideas and full of "it". Ask any of my friends. I can be exhausting with my ideas. I exhaust myself! As I have grown older I have learned to temper my thoughts and my ideas and now? Now I want to go full throttle. Haha. I have SO MANY THINGS I want to do and try! This is the time I have been waiting for! No responsibilities at home and the world is my oyster. I feel 20 again! Remember 20? We were invincible. The world was so wide and open and we were moving away from home (some of us) and we were testing the waters and making some choices that were great and others that were not so great! So, now I feel as if I am back in that space but now my parents are gone, my best friend is gone. It is different this time. And this is life. And it is going to be ok because as my father once told me, "Maureen, stop worrying so much, it all works out in the end..." So here I am. 55 years old. A little wiser. Still full of it. Now what?

08/15/2026

If you need this retreat this is a good one!

You have been strong for everyone else for so long.

You have carried the grief, managed the responsibilities, and kept going—even during the seasons when you felt exhausted and disconnected inside.
But you were never meant to carry everything forever.

The Woman I Used to Be is a four-day transformational retreat created to give you space to slow down, breathe, reconnect with God, receive support, and remember the woman beneath everything life has asked you to hold.

Join Teresa Reiniger and Dena Woulfe for faith-centered restoration, transformational coaching, guided reflection, breathwork, somatic support, meaningful connection, and peaceful time by the lake.

📍 Lake of the Ozarks | Osage Beach, Missouri
📅 September 21–24, 2026

Reserve your spot and give yourself permission to begin finding your way back to you.
Spaces are intentionally limited.
Click here: https://livingaftergrief.com/the-woman-i-used-to-be

08/15/2026

Yesterday was hard. I am going to completely honest. My children have left to begin their own adventures, and my brother came to visit, who came to take care of me like he always has. And it brings me back to when I was growing up. He always protected me. It started when I was diagnosed with Leggs-Calves Perthes. It was always in his nature to protect. And this past week he pulled through again. When he drove away, I teared up. That tug that pulls at your heart when someone you love more than the moon drives away. I have video of each of the kids leaving to start their adventure and I took a video of him leaving too. Now, I am here. I am not alone, don't feel too sorry for me. I have my husband who is amazing and my friends who are even better and Rose and Daisy. My life is full of love. But it is that internal drive that I struggle with. Now What? What do I do with all this possibility when nobody else is here to determine the answer? I am 55 and the world is open and there are so many things I can do. I am an artist; we are eternally young:) At least that is what I tell MYSELF! What do I want? What do I need? Now what? Good question…

Typical picture of my brother and I. HE DOES NOT like social media so I thought this appropriate...

08/14/2026

NOW WHAT?

Yesterday was the first day my house was empty.
No more kids. One is in PA and the other is in FL.

I stood there thinking, Well...this is so...empty.

For a long time there was always someone who needed something. My mother in law for 8 years, kids and their friends!

And one by one gone, the house was quiet. It is like Haydn's Farewell Symphony. (Listen to it...it is good...)

So naturally, I asked myself the question that seems to follow me everywhere these days: Now what?

So, I made four batches of protein balls. FOUR batches.
I got out all of my cooking supplies, took over the kitchen and made enough protein balls to last me approximately three months.

And when I finished, I felt sooooooooo accomplished.
And let me tell you. When I was making them I was NOT thinking: "I have discovered my life's purpose." Ha! But because now I had breakfast.

Every morning, for the foreseeable future, I have something ready that nourishes me in the way I know I need to be nourished.
And somewhere between batch three and batch four, I realized:
Maybe this is what Now What? actually means.

For most of my life, I thought moving forward meant doing something big. Find the next job. Earn another degree. Fix the problem. Set the goal. Accomplish something. Move.

But I'm beginning to understand that the question isn't always, What should I accomplish next?
Maybe the better question is:
What do I need next?

Not what does my husband need?
Not what do my children need?
Not what does the world expect from me?
And certainly not, What is everyone else doing? Because I am a BIG FOMO person.

What do I need to be the best version of myself today?
What nourishes me?
What gives me energy?
What makes me feel empowered?
What helps me continue moving forward?
And here's the important part:
My answer doesn't have to be your answer.
And the answer isn't about Protein Balls.
Thank God. Haha!

It's not about leaving your job, starting a business, losing weight, getting married, raising children, putting down the mommy juice, going back to school or following whatever formula worked for somebody else.

It's about learning to ask yourself a question—and becoming quiet enough to hear your own answer.

Now what?
Yesterday, my answer was breakfast.

Today? So for now I am going to snuggle with my doxie and give myself the time I need.

Tomorrow?
We'll see.

06/23/2026

With Applesauceandadhd – I just got recognized as one of their top fans! 🎉