09/15/2026
Does Therapy Work for Men? What You Should Know Before the First Session
Many men struggle with the idea of going to therapy. Many concerns come up for men that become “blocks.” Thoughts like “I should be able to handle this on my own” or “I’m worried about being pathologized or told that I’m toxic or that I’m the problem.”
However, a great deal of research shows that men can and do massively benefit from attending therapy sessions. This research also speaks to why many men don’t often attend therapy.
In this article, we’ll walk through a variety of topics tailored to men and attending therapy. Focusing on topics such as: why men hesitate to start therapy, what the research actually says, what the first sessions will look like (and why this is important), and some realistic expectations.
Why Men Hesitate
I discussed this briefly already, but a lot of men hesitate to begin therapy for valid reasons and concerns. Many worry about potential stigmas around attending therapy, and many worry about being pathologized, or told that they are “toxic” as a person.
While these are completely valid concerns, these are situations that should not occur in a therapeutic session. The therapist's job is to be an advocate for their client, even if the client’s issues stem from their own problematic behavior; a client should not be told they are “toxic” in session. Rather, open-ended questions should be utilized to help the client come to an understanding of their issues on their own, through their own reasoning. And this leads us into the next point of this session.
Many men struggle with the thought of sitting in a therapy session for an hour answering open-ended questions. Thankfully, with many therapists, that’s not how therapy sessions would work. For example, in my own practice as a counselor, some things we would do in sessions include things like: discussing an exercise you can work on outside of sessions, working on filling out a worksheet (that’s relevant to your issue), while supplementing open-ended questions alongside those in sessions.
Simply asking open-ended questions for an hour is a very clinical approach to counseling, which some people may prefer. It completely depends on the client, their needs, and their desires for the session.
To discuss what is probably the largest reason men hesitate to attend therapeutic sessions, that being worries about the stigma of attending therapy. Many men are concerned that attending therapy means they’re weak or lesser, often because of a belief that men “should be able to handle their issues on their own.”
However, this doesn’t have to be the case. This is because humans are naturally social beings and aren’t designed to handle their problems alone. I’m reminded of a passage of Scripture that tells us that while a cord of one strand is easily broken, a cord of two or three strands are not. And what this tells us is that we should be seeking the support of others, and that true strength as men is shown when they come together and support one another.
Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so too does one man sharpen another.”
What the Research Says
Recent research has spoken to the topic of men not attending therapy. A recent article (2023) from the ‘American Journal of Men’s Health’ speaks on how men attend counseling at significantly lower rates than women (3 women per 1 man), and addresses many reasons why this is the case.
However, current research also indicates that men can massively benefit from going to therapy. Recent statistics show that many of the common struggles for men relate to stress, depression, and life transitions. These, among other issues, can be commonly referred to as “men’s issues” when it comes to specialties, and there are many of both male and female therapists who specialize in this area.
What the First Sessions Looks Like
I also wanted to take some time to discuss what that first session would look like, so that you would know what to expect out of it. The first in-person session is what is often referred to as the “intake session.” This is where general history information is gathered, and goals are set for future sessions.
During the intake session, questions like why you decided to come to therapy, what you were hoping to get out of therapy, what goals you have, and questions about your life and habits are asked. The intake session can often feel like the “slowest” or “most clinical” session, but this session is designed to help the therapist get to know you and understand who you are before beginning to attempt therapeutic work.
The next handful of sessions depend on the type of counseling you are seeking, and the modalities the therapist utilizes, as well as the primary issue at hand. For example, in my work with po*******hy addictions, the first 2-3 sessions after the intake are more focused on building the relationship between the client and counselor.
Or for other men’s issues, like stress or depression, the first 2 sessions after the intake will be a mixture of building that relationship and focused therapeutic work (worksheets, exercises, and homework, for example). For other therapists, it can look different. Some may want to jump straight into the issue at hand during or right after the intake.
Realistic Expectations
I believe it is also important to help set some realistic expectations for therapeutic sessions. This is because men actually statistically have a much higher rate of attending 1-3 sessions, then stop attending therapy. This is often because of expectations for progress to be made faster.
However, true progress in the therapeutic process can often be very fluid, and depends on the person. Some may see immediate progress, that tapers off as therapy sessions progress. On the flip side, some may not see a large jump in progress until session 10.
I bring this up to say that progress can be made quickly, but it can also be slow. Regardless of which, it doesn’t mean you’re any less than anyone else. I wouldn’t want for you to come into a first session expecting to perfectly address every issue you bring within the first three sessions; all that will do is dishearten you if that doesn’t happen. The beauty of therapy is that it works for you, and that it moves at your pace.
Test the Waters
If you’re curious about starting therapy, but don’t know exactly where or how to start. You can also start with a brief consultation call with a therapist. These can be 15-30 minute calls where we’d discuss some of what you’re going through and what type of therapy may be helpful for you.
Q&A
What should I look for in a therapist?
Finding a therapist who specializes in what you’re struggling with is an important part of making good progress in therapeutic sessions. There is also research that indicates that finding a therapist who matches your communication style helps in making good progress in therapy sessions.
How long would I attend counseling?
This can depend on the overall issues being discussed and the modality that the therapist utilizes in session. For example, a therapist who utilizes Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which focuses on behavioral change, will typically see a client for 20-24 sessions from the initial intake to the closing session.
Here is the link to the 2023 article:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10286188/
