Mike Shumate, PhD, Christian Counselor

03/23/2026

Looking for answers? This marks the commencement of an in-depth examination of life's complexities, with a commitment to collective problem-solving and solution-finding. This section will concentrate on everyday issues and predicaments, providing actionable advice. In April, we will launch our exploration with a topic I have frequently addressed - marriage, and we invite you to follow along.

05/19/2025

Moms and Dads, take a listen. I hope you find some things that are helpful.

Sunday morning worship at the Concord Street Church of Christ on May 18, 2025. David Pharr preached a sermon titled “Family Matters: Our Children”.

01/16/2025

03/28/2024

Many of us have seen a romantic movie in the theater. It doesn't matter if it is a cartoon film like Snow White or a more realistic one with Rock Hudson chasing Doris Day on the screen for an hour and a half. The conclusion is always the same, "they lived happily ever after."
But believing that is not realistic, because it hardly ever happens. It's not that we don't strive for "happily ever after." We do strive, but still, most Americans fail to achieve it. In the beginning, it seemed so happy. There is a phase of marriage called "limerence" where the couple thinks they have married perfect beings. When the woman sees the man, she thinks he is invincible. When the man sees the woman, he thinks she floats on air. The trouble is that feeling doesn't last. Soon both realize they haven't married perfect beings or invincible heroes, but a real person with real flaws. They realize that they are not very happy with the person they married, but they are willing to try. If they don't find a way to bring back all the feelings and happiness, they need to see a counselor.
That leads us to one of the facts that is hard to understand, how long will they delay before they see a counselor? According to John Gottman, the renowned marriage researcher, it will take eight years on average for a couple to seek out a counselor. That means the problems have accumulated for eight years. Their positive view of each other has declined and their dislike for each other has increased for eight years. It also means the counselor will have to deal with eight years of conflicts, attitudes, and thoughts about their marriage. Eight years of friends' advice including, in my view, the worst, hearing their friends saying over and over that they need to get a divorce.
I urge you to find a counselor who will try to help you restore your relationship before your list of problems gets too big. The sooner the better.

01/02/2023

Christmas has come and gone and so has the New Year. Everyone was on such a high emotionally but now it can be quite a different story. Now we are thinking about what is going on in our lives. There are those that thought that they would be way further up the ladder at work, but instead, they are still in a position in the company that isn’t very satisfactory. They thought that they would be making more money with benefits, but it hasn’t happened.
Then there are some of us that thought that a lot more friends really liked us, but when the parties and dinners happened over the Holidays, somehow, we got left off the list. Their Christmas cards didn’t decorate the wall as they did in past years. You used to be invited to Christmas dinner at your best friend’s home, but this year they went on a cruise with their family. You spent Christmas day alone watching football.
Some people get so into the holiday that they are on top of the mountain, but when you are on the top of the mountain you must come down. You think that everyone will love what you purchased for them, but they didn’t. They thought the sweater was ugly and the fruitcake wasn’t very appreciated either.
Finally, there are those that were looking toward the end of the year with the hope that somehow their lives would be on the upswing. Maybe they could forget all the problems that had been plaguing their marriage. It is still the same, however, even though New Year promises to forget past problems and make a new start. There are people who every year think that this is going to be the year that they can get over the fact that a friend or family member died and isn’t with them anymore, but it is still hurting.
Christmas and the New Year can be a great time and it is enjoyed by many, but there are people that don’t feel that way. If getting over the holidays is hard for you, consider finding a counselor that will listen and help you get through the aftermath, someone that will not criticize, but understand. It can make a difference.

12/29/2022

If you are feeling oppressed, dealing with troubles, maybe overwhelmed, and looking for someone who will give you an unbiased, safe, and productive opportunity to process your experiences, give me a call and we will set up an appointment to talk.