06/09/2026
3 patterns i see in therapy every week that nobody talks about. 🩷
i’m in the room with these patterns every week. one of them is probably yours.
i want to talk about pattern 3 specifically, because it’s the one that breaks me a little every time. the women who walk into my office and proudly announce they’re “low maintenance” are almost always the women who are hungriest. low-maintenance isn’t a personality — it’s a survival adaptation that started somewhere around the first time you were told your needs were too much, too loud, too inconvenient.
so you got smaller. you got polite. you stopped asking for things you wanted because the cost of asking and not getting was higher than the cost of just going without. and now you’re 32 or 41 or 56 in a relationship where you don’t actually know how to take up space, and you’re calling that easygoing.
it’s not easygoing. it’s a slow disappearance you’ve been calling kindness.
the work — the real work — is not to become high-maintenance. it’s to become honest. to stop performing the smaller version of yourself that kept you safe at 9 and start letting the actual size of you into the room. that’s terrifying. it’s also the only thing that ends the pattern.
if any of these three landed, my ebook 🌸healing your way into a healthy relationship🌸 is the long-form version of the work. it’s linked in my bio. 🤍
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which one hit? 1, 2, or 3? 👇🏼
