Dr. Bo Tyler

Dr. Bo Tyler Neurodivergent therapist, coach, & bestselling author on Substack. LPCC-S, PhD, on FB, TT, IG & YT. All content is for educational purposes only.

Notes on a ScreamNew Substack Drop. Link in bio. No paywall. I had to write this piece because it captures the guilt I f...
09/08/2026

Notes on a Scream

New Substack Drop. Link in bio. No paywall. I had to write this piece because it captures the guilt I feel and I know so many of us feel when we are asked, “Don’t you have a good memory of him? It can’t have been all bad. He can’t have been all bad.” I don’t. It wasn’t but he made it feel like it. He wasn’t.

My dad did some very kind things that I remember, like the time he made me an giant 2x4 blue tooth brush when I went as a tube of tooth paste for Halloween. But I remember that night was so joyous because he gave me this nice thing and then I went away with my friends where I was safe to be a kid while he stayed home and got drunk alone. This is the hard part of reconciling the truth of a vulnerable narcissist’s cruelty, there are so many times I know I was not the object of his ire, I was just his collateral damage. But despite me not being an intentional target, I still experienced the terror of his temper and the fear that he would move from emotional to physical to deadly violence, if only accidentally. Check out the full article for more context and my other article available right now with no paywall, “WHEN THE ABUSED BECOMES THE ABUSER.”

https://drbotyler.substack.com/p/can-you-have-happy-memories-with?r=5tjjxk&utm_medium=ios

When the Abused becomes the AbuserMy Dad’s Death and His Legacy of Vulnerable Narcissism New Substack post. No paywall. ...
09/07/2026

When the Abused becomes the Abuser

My Dad’s Death and His Legacy of Vulnerable Narcissism

New Substack post. No paywall. Link in bio. Sometimes I have to write through my pain to try and make something I hope is useful to others before the weight of what has happened overtakes me and I have to be in it. I thought getting this done so quickly after he passed would mean I wouldn’t have to grieve the hope I still held that one day he would turn around and be the father I deserved and now can never be. My secret power and Achilles heel is that I am a person animated by hope even when the world feels completely dark. I am relieved that he is gone and sad for the tortured boy that he held within him. Head over to my Substack to read the full piece. If you are living with or dealing with the passing of an abusive narcissist, my heart is with you. I hope this helps you see how an abused person comes to be an abuser. If you are reading this note, thank you for holding my words and feelings in a way he never did.

https://drbotyler.substack.com/p/when-the-abused-becomes-the-abuser?r=5tjjxk&utm_medium=ios

09/04/2026

Here’s how childhood neglect can look and sound like emotional abuse.

The absence of support when you need it as a child is abuse but most people struggle to articulate why. Especially if they had all their physical needs met, emotional neglect can be hard to identify and even harder to treat in couples therapy. In contrast to having a partner who was abused as a child who tries to avoid being detected, partners who were neglected as children often see any engagement or attention as love (even critical attention). They can see criticism as looking out for their partner because no one ever looked out for them.

09/03/2026

(Here’s how they can look the same.)

Unfortunately, abuse makes those of us who survive it see the world and our non-abusive loved ones through the eyes of being abused. As a result, entire dynamics can develop where a well meaning partner begins to wonder if their formerly abused partner is gaslighting them because they won’t hear feedback or go on the attack when they have a legitimate critique or mistake concern or praise for malice and avoid or belittle their partner or loved ones in response.

Your Anxiety Diagnosis Wasn't Wrong. It Was Incomplete. For ADHDers, That's Worse.🧠 💡 New Substack Article Drop. Link in...
09/02/2026

Your Anxiety Diagnosis Wasn't Wrong. It Was Incomplete. For ADHDers, That's Worse.

🧠 💡 New Substack Article Drop. Link in bio. The misdiagnosis and collapsing of ADHD into strictly Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) symptomology is something I see far too often for adults with undiagnosed ADHD and especially women and AFAB folx. If this is something that has happened/is happening to you like it did to my mom and me, I want you to know you are not alone. Head over and check it out. Free subscribers can use a one time unlock to read the full piece.

https://drbotyler.substack.com/p/your-anxiety-diagnosis-wasnt-wrong?r=5tjjxk&utm_medium=ios

08/31/2026

Podcast Release!🚨: “I Must Be Bug’n” episode: “Not Everyone Can Come With Us- Neurodivergence, Relationships & the Courage to Grow.” Check it out our full conversation on Spotify, link in bio. Thank you Sheldon Gay for having me as a guest! It was a great converation.

08/30/2026

This is not to discount that you are a special individual and that you have a lot to offer but to try and get people away from the ways in which we can block our own progress and ability to build community and relate with others who are like us because we can't or don't want to embrace the full pattern, helpful and unhelpful, of our ADHD neurodivergence.

Successful, undiagnosed ADHDers and AuDHDers can be some of the most toxic people in our communities because they can exhibit mean girl behavior aka Queen Bee Theory. Check out the full conversation on my YT “What to do when your boss doesn’t realize you have ADHD” or on Brett’s YT page and please give us both a like and a follow. We keep having these conversations because you keep asking us for more insight on being neurodivergent at work. We hope this helps.

https://youtu.be/k35y6pRueyA?is=lTfqWSKyB28jFVrp

08/30/2026

I see the potential gap all the time in couples where one or both partners are struggling with untreated ADHD and/or AuDHD and they have not built systems as a family to mitigate the predictable but wildly dysregulation mistakes that ADHD brings up. Podcast Release!🚨: “I Must Be Bug’n” episode: “Not Everyone Can Come With Us- Neurodivergence, Relationships & the Courage to Grow.” Check it out our full conversation on Spotify, link in bio. Thank you Sheldon Gay for having me as a guest! It was a great converation.

08/29/2026

I have long struggled to articulate why some ADHD/Autistic people undermine, resent, and come for other ADHD/Autistic people simply for being who they are. In this instance, it can be that those of us who are less far along in our "coming out/coming to terms" with ourselves journey, bitterly cannot stand those who take space for themselves. And unfortunately, I know I have been guilty in the past of resenting others for this; and also unfortunately, sometimes people mean more than resenting you. They see your sparkle and shine in living your truth and instead of working on themselves, they seek to undermine you. Check out the full Podcast on my and , The Audhd Boss YT channels. ?

https://youtu.be/k35y6pRueyA?is=RUijxcuCeAmoGuRa

08/29/2026

Podcast Release!🚨: “I Must Be Bug’n” episode: “Not Everyone Can Come With Us- Neurodivergence, Relationships & the Courage to Grow.” Check it out our full conversation on Spotify, link in bio.

This was just one part of our discussion on the ways in which neurodivergent and polyamorous couples differentiate and learn to go separately sometimes for their individual health and the health of their relationships. Thank you Sheldon Gay for having me on your podcast!

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3ikfj85inVUTgW4csFUIn0?si=TjvZpwweRGS6iqYTVc3MzA&utm_source=copy-link

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