12/24/2020
Well it finally happened.
Getting a bad review on Etsy is something I have been dreading from the time I made my very first sale. It happened yesterday morning and it was devastating. Through all my overthinking, obsessing, and spiraling, I can say it feels just about as bad as I imagined it would— just a little quieter and with more internalization than I had expected.
This past month I have worked tirelessly to get orders filled and shipped out on time. It has been an exhausting and overwhelmingly exciting experience. I feel so lucky to have received so many orders and now equally as crushed to be having so many issues.
I absolutely understand the disappointment and frustration people are experiencing, especially around this time of year— I, too, am feeling it to my core. I have never worked so hard or been more proud of the work I’ve done and now with people still not receiving their packages and gifts for their loved ones in time for the holiday, it feels like it was all for nothing.
I’m sharing this because when it happened, it affected me in a terrible way. Instead of packing and getting on the road to spend Christmas with my family (which is now no longer happening), I moped around in silence for most of the day and when I did open my mouth to speak, it was nasty and hateful to people I love and care about.
I was a complete as***le all day until yesterday evening when I decided to type up a letter to many of the people who have supported my shop this holiday season. Messages full of kindness, understanding, and words of encouragement received from complete strangers flooded my inbox. There are really really really good people in this world. I’m so thankful they exist.
—
I care. A lot.
About everything, it seems.
Too much? Maybe.
I just wish I wouldn’t allow things to consume my entire being to the point I see nothing else.
“It’s part of the process.”
I hate when people say that s**t. But I get it right now. I always knew this would happen— it was inevitable. But now it’s time to just fix it, move on, and most importantly (and also the most difficult for me) LET IT GO.
I’m not big on resolutions— but maybe that one is worth giving a try.
