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CPTSD Healing Facilitation & Consultation with an anti-colonial & Disability Justice lens | Kapwa Flow: Radically-inclusive somatic meditation for personal and collective liberation | Building beloved community with truth-telling and wise action

Would anyone like some ceremonial to***co plants? I got the starts from  over a year ago and found out they are perennia...
22/04/2023

Would anyone like some ceremonial to***co plants? I got the starts from over a year ago and found out they are perennial — they can grow all year, for multiple years, and BIG if you let them. They will also readily reseed. I just have a few too many in my plot! I have 3 up for grabs 🤓

When I have more time I want to learn how to cure the leaves 🍃

For pick up in North Oakland. Also accepting monetary donations in any amount which I will repurpose for local mutual aid efforts like supporting unhoused folks in my hood.
ID: closeup of ceremonial to***co plants in bloom with yellow flowers, surrounded in their garden plot by other herbs and onions. Natural light
***co ***co ***co

Posted  •  I’m teaching again for the first time in-person since pre-pandemonium times! This class will be on the restor...
10/11/2022

Posted •

I’m teaching again for the first time in-person since pre-pandemonium times! This class will be on the restorative, gentle, nourishing side, as I am still recovering from a recent car accident.

Please register at the link in bio.

There will be strict COVID protocols in place, multiple air purifiers, and masks will need to be worn. Folks will also need to test the day-of. (Tests will be available on site as well, so please arrive early if you won’t be testing beforehand.)
Thank you for coordinating and valuing my work!

Have you EATEN yet? Don’t be a martyr and don’t give your body up to the capitalist machine! Care for yourself like you ...
15/02/2022

Have you EATEN yet? Don’t be a martyr and don’t give your body up to the capitalist machine! Care for yourself like you would a dear friend. No one benefits from you burning out. Try not to eat at your desk or workstation if that’s a thing you tend to do, too. Carve out time to eat as a sacred ritual of care, if you have the capacity.
What’s your favorite thing to eat for comfort? When you’re feeling extravagant? Or when you barely have time to think?

A page from my Passion Planner, which after checking in with an Asian ADHD forum I’m on, I have decided probably won’t b...
18/01/2022

A page from my Passion Planner, which after checking in with an Asian ADHD forum I’m on, I have decided probably won’t be helpful for me in the long run! It’s good to know I’m not the only non-neurotypical who has had trouble using it!
This photo is from the “Space of Infinite Possibility” section of the planner, where I created a mind map with the question “How Have I Grown in 2021?” Here is a list of what I’ve written, in order from top right going counter-clockwise (cuz why be linear, right?)…

- taking things less personally
- tidying things more regularly
- learning how to live amidst ambiguity and chaos
- good job tapering my meds
- adjusting well to new job
- noticing when my emotional state is shifting
- less attached to outcomes
- saying “yes” less to things I don’t want to do
- becoming more comfortable holding “leadership”
- less perfectionism
- better at holding boundaries
- more interested in long-term planning
- less scared about COVID
- more patient w buns (my partner)
How did you grow in 2021? How have you been feeling so far in this new gregorian year?

“Dark” isn’t a bad word. TW below for mentioning anti-Bl8ckn3ss, c0l0r1sm, etc.Language matters, and considering how the...
21/12/2021

“Dark” isn’t a bad word. TW below for mentioning anti-Bl8ckn3ss, c0l0r1sm, etc.
Language matters, and considering how the dichotomies of “light” and “dark” have been used to justify c0l0r1sm, r8c1sm, and anti-Bl8ckn3ss, it is important for us to be mindful of how we choose our words. I try never to use the word “dark” with a negative connotation because I don’t want to contribute to messed up worldviews.
Today is the Winter Solstice, where we have the longest night, the most darkness, of the year. In darkness, we rest and incubate and hibernate. In darkness, seeds begin to sprout. Our dreams take shape in the darkness of sleep. More tangibly, darkness protects from the negative impacts of the light, too. The words “dark” and “darkness” should be used positively and appreciatively!
The next time you use the word “dark,” ask yourself if you are reinforcing a negative view of darkness.
Instead of “that was a dark time,” can you say “that was a grim time” if that’s what you mean? Or “that’s morbid” instead of “that’s dark,” when that’s what you mean?
Folks need to stop equating “light” (and ⚪️ness) with “good,” “purity,” “wise,” etc — I’m looking at those New Agers and “spiritual” people who reinforce these images — and embrace darkness.
What do you appreciate about that which is dark, and darkness?
ID: “‘Dark’ isn’t a bad word.” In bold black text over grey textured background that resembles crinkled paper. watermark on top.
✊🏾

Excited to support  and all the seeds they’re planting in the   movement! Also the art and swag they sent is beautiful. ...
15/12/2021

Excited to support and all the seeds they’re planting in the movement! Also the art and swag they sent is beautiful. This was the first year I was able to pay Shuumi, the recommended land tax for being a settler on Ohlone land. If you live in the so-called Bay Area and have income to spare, I invite you (and affiliated orgs!) to begin to do your part.
Do folks know of other Indigenous-led land trusts and efforts such as this? Do you know whose historic land you reside on? What does it look like for you to be in right relationship with that land and its people?
If you live on your ancestral land and are resourced, you are blessed. Many do not have this privilege.

I think I just got sh8d0wbanned because of the story I posted yesterday🙊 would you mind liking and commenting that this ...
11/12/2021

I think I just got sh8d0wbanned because of the story I posted yesterday🙊 would you mind liking and commenting that this showed up in your feed? I’m getting more and more annoyed at this platform…
👑 🌮 ❤️

“Embrace your feelings. All of them.” The highs, the lows, the ones that sometimes still stir up shame.What we don’t att...
25/11/2021

“Embrace your feelings. All of them.” The highs, the lows, the ones that sometimes still stir up shame.
What we don’t attend to only festers underneath the surface. What we push away grows stronger and more forceful.
I’m actually feeling really sad during this time.
Sad for the whitewashing, erasure, and invisibilizing of Indigenous genocide, and the rampant commercialism, the unnecessary urgency and forcing of “tradition.”
Sad that this “holiday season” is so charged with emotional weight, at the same time the days grow shorter and the vitamin D levels decrease.
Sad that I am estranged/chronically dehumanized/at an impasse with some family members.
Sad that other family members are no longer here.
Sad that some of the family members I resonate with most have their own inner circle of family that I am not a part of, or they are far away, or they cannot show up in a way that isn’t enabling toxicity.
(Other than this loaded topic of family, I am for the most part content with my other relationships and communities. Which in some ways makes it even more painful. I’m feeling into the pain even as I feel gratitude, abundance, joy, and connection in other arenas of my life. These all coexist within me.)
I have been noticing in myself an aversion to writing and journaling, even though I know that it will help me work through some of these complicated feelings. Even though it will help me deepen my relationship with myself. Thank you for reading this far.

New hair / who dis?I’ve felt like chopping most of my hair off in the 2 years since my last cut, and this is the result....
24/11/2021

New hair / who dis?
I’ve felt like chopping most of my hair off in the 2 years since my last cut, and this is the result. As an elder millennial, I thank the 90s and brazen bold playful authenticity of Gen Z for giving me the courage to make such a drastic change! My hair hasn’t been this length since elementary school, I think. Still getting used to it 😅
Image description: various pics of jessy (light brown skinned mixed Pangasinense-Kapampangan/Southern Japanese/Fujian Chinese) with new shorter hair, somewhat serious expression. First pic is in front of a book shelf and the rest of the pics are taken in a car.
💇🏻

Happy Halloween! Here’s a pic from 2014 at the height of the tech boom. I was an app developer named Dave Smithsteinberg...
31/10/2021

Happy Halloween! Here’s a pic from 2014 at the height of the tech boom. I was an app developer named Dave Smithsteinberger. My name tag says I’m single and into Asian women (or maybe I added that later). RIP ugly beige walls and ugly carpet—so glad the apt looks WAY BETTER NOW!
Image description: Jessy in a tech bro costume on Halloween 2014, wearing a green shirt saying “Genentech GIVES BACK,” a plaid brown jacket, and rolled up beige pants. I am standing confidently with one foot on my bike, crotch splayed open, half sitting on the bike seat. My hair is tied up underneath a beanie cap, with a fake twirly mustache drawn on my face in eyeliner. There is a name tag on my shirt with my name, fake job, fake dating status, etc.

What false beliefs do you have about yourself?It’s always a trip when people tell me things that contradict the old stor...
06/10/2021

What false beliefs do you have about yourself?
It’s always a trip when people tell me things that contradict the old stories about me playing in my head.
Some of the stories that still reside in my brain, at least occasionally, include:
“I am incapable of handling difficult situations”
“This person doesn’t consider me a friend and would be annoyed if I reached out to them.”
“I need to tone down my excitement. I’m too much.”
“I’m a hot mess like my father.”
“They don’t believe me.”
“No one wants to listen to what I have to say.”
These stories aren’t even mine. They were/are dictated by society, passed down my line, imposed upon me by forces I couldn’t control back when I was young and impressionable and a sponge for all kinds of information, as well as in adulthood when I’ve had to navigate the “real world” and all of its artificial constructs that still hold significant consequences for our lives.
There are a few things that have helped me soften these false beliefs. One is “reality testing,” which involves asking someone I trust: “Was I being extra just now? / Am I a hot mess? / Did I sound incoherent?” And more often than not, especially if they are folks who are comfortable with being honest, they will confirm that I had a false thought.
Another thing I do is conduct an investigation where I try to look beyond the false belief and really pause when I find evidence to the contrary. I’ve been practicing really leaning into *clear tangible instances* that contradict my false beliefs. For instance, pausing and really letting others’ praise sink in. Or zooming out of my current reality and just remembering how much I’ve grown in the last year, five years—even the last month. Owning when I’ve been the go-to person in any sort of crisis situation. Slowly, but surely, right?
I also try to notice where I’m being excessively hard on myself and/or engaging in perfectionist thinking.
Try not to believe the worst things you believe about yourself. Try to create some distance, somehow. What has helped for you?

The past three days I’ve been unlearning and learning how to grieve in ways that are authentic to me. It’s been a wild r...
01/10/2021

The past three days I’ve been unlearning and learning how to grieve in ways that are authentic to me. It’s been a wild ride, feeling my feelings as they come up, noticing my tendency to try to create meaning and sense out of things that don’t make sense. Becoming aware of the shame that arises, my conditioned fear of being vulnerable, because when I expressed vulnerability in the past I was met with: ridicule, indifference, misunderstanding, anger, irritation.
After years of therapy I now know the causes and conditions that bring these responses to vulnerability, the intergenerational transmission of colonial coping mechanisms… oh, here I go trying to explain things away again instead of just feeling them.
And, I will say, in recent years, as I’ve gently started to accept and embrace my vulnerability, and feel more comfortable (never completely comfortable) letting it show, I have been met with really powerful holding in community. Acceptance of my expression of grief. Embracing of me being authentic to me in my overflow of feelings.
I am learning to accept that I feel sooo much. I feel so much it overwhelms me. My immediate response is to go into self-loathing or self-doubting mode: “Why am I like this?” My partner tells me it isn’t a bad thing—it’s good to be someone who feels. On a deep level, a lot of what is wrong with the world is that not enough people feel. Even if they have these feelings within them, they don’t allow themselves to feel. Or they only feel fear which manifests as disgust, hate, and violence.
I started a new job recently and they allowed me to take 3 days off for my grief. I didn’t have to explain anything or fill out any forms to prove I am grieving. This was healing for me.
During this time I was able to also hold space for folks who were grieving in a slightly different way, but the energy of those who feel so much (empathy, compassion, hope and hopelessness, tenderness, the activation of old wounds, awe when others can relate) is remarkably similar and it just felt like a mirror.
Humans are social animals and our capacity to mirror and empathize with each other is powerful.
I hope you, too, can grieve what you need to.

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