28/11/2021
The most intimate relationship you will ever have is with yourself. But if you don’t love every aspect of yourself, then your relationship is out of balance. (Easier said than done I get it).
When the inner judge or inner victim shows up, it invites you to love these parts of yourself as well. Compassion for self is the key! It won’t happen overnight but baby steps each day will get you there.
Remember, both the judge and victim are defence mechanisms that at some point had good intentions and were needed to keep you safe.
Your inner judge may whisper things like, “You need to keep others at a distance or you will get hurt”
Parallel to the judge the inner victim may whisper, “It’s not fair! This always happens to me!”.
The victim is the part crouched in fear, waiting for the next thing to happen, scared, hoping someone will come to make things better.
When you look closely at the roles each inner voice plays, you will see the stronger the judge, the stronger the victim. They are two sides of the same coin that go back and forth between extremes.
The goal is to be aware of when the voice of the inner judge and inner victim are at play, acknowledge them for what they are, then release them with compassion.
Think of the last few months of your life and situations that have arisen and identity which part of you took over and how you could do it differently next time if a similar situation arises.