13/06/2024
As I am approaching my next cycle around the sun, this theme of enoughness has circled around big time (let’s be honest, does it ever ever go away?).
With the speed of what gets shared here on socials which is an often empty vacuum of a vortex, I find myself so so quickly and involuntarily sucked into the dark hole of berating myself for not being fast enough, courageous enough, confident enough, not done the big-ticket heavy lifting enough, not grown enough, not showed up here with my face and speaking voice enough…..it truly is tragically endless.
Who benefits from this but the silent dementor that looms eerily over my shoulder with his head nodding approval, his arms crossed in righteousness, muttering ‘ha, I got her, again’ into the great dark silent abyss night of the strangled soul.
When I take a moment to lean back instead of habitually leaning far too forward, and peel my eyes a fraction of a millimetre away from all that (apparently) lies ahead, I find my spine able to rest a little more upon all the roads & hurdles that carried me here.
Here, with a firmer knowing than ever before, of what truly is important; what I want to build the rest of my years on, the experiences shared I want to remember as I take my last breaths, the depth of connection, trust and openings that I continually opened myself to albeit moving slower than snails pace. The loudest, glaring piece in all of this is the deeper awareness of inner root motivations that drive decisions, behaviour, relationships & even conversations. An ever evolving skill only accrued through the tough grit of confronting oneself & our many learned layers consistently.
Needless to say, all this work done is to arrive here, to open again, to love again, to name aloud very human desires, to allow myself to receive again (😭); while, still often trembling and frightened most days, AND knowing clearer than before that the ground beneath my feet has got my back, and I have got my back.
So, here’s to expanding the lungs of our enoughness 🤲🏼 a sneaky peek into my newest in-person (!) offering —— details landing tomorrow both here and to newsletter subscribers.
Stay tuned xx