02/07/2021
LOVE this!!!
Dear me,
No feud should last this long. Youâve been fighting for years. Decades even. This is getting absurd, so Iâm begging you: make peace right now.
Make peace with your thighs.
Make peace with your belly.
Make peace with your arms.
Make peace with your butt.
Make peace with your hips.
Make peace with your nose and your hands and your hair and your lips.
Make peace with your skin.
Make peace with your body.
Tell your body youâre sorry for the way youâve torn it down. Tell your body youâre sorry for the way youâve hid it and incessantly criticized it and compared it to everyone elseâsâmostly to complete strangers on the internet. That was just wrong.
Tell your body youâre sorry for the way youâve never appreciated all the good itâs done. Tell your body youâre sorry for never seeing its beauty. Tell your body youâre sorry that youâve lived so many years hating it and expecting that hate to bring about any kind of good.
Tell your body youâre sorry for being too scared to ever walk into a workout class, even though you really wouldâve liked to try it. Tell your body youâre sorry for not giving it enough rest. Tell your body youâre sorry for not letting it age and for wanting it to look the same way it did 20 years ago.
Tell your body youâre sorry for wishing it was different. Tell your body youâre sorry for listening to what others said about it and for holding onto some of those lies for so long. Tell your body youâre sorry for letting it be unbelievably miserably hot in the dead-middle of summer just because you were so embarrassed by it that you refused to put on a swimsuit.
Tell your body youâre sorry for being ashamed of it.
Tell your body youâre sorry for all the times you deprived it and didnât give it what it needed. Tell your body youâre sorry for the absolutely unrealistic expectations youâve put on it. Tell your body youâre sorry for never believing it was good enough even after all the times it has supported you and carried you through.
I donât know about you. I may be completely alone in this and I guess thatâs what makes vulnerability so terrifying, but I have been STRUGGLING in this department for most of my life. I developed young and it was humiliating for me to look different than everyone else and it just never stopped.
In high school, I hated my hair. It was frizzy and it wouldnât stay sleek and straight the way I thought it was supposed to. In college, I hated my acne-prone skin. I wouldnât leave the house without two or three layers of makeup. I wouldnât leave my bedroom because I didnât even want my roommates to see my blemishes and my scarred cheeks. After college, I was on medicine that made me gain weight. I got asked if I was pregnant multiple times. I had a boss who wouldnât let it go and Iâve never wanted to hide so bad in my entire life. And then I actually had three beautiful kids, and none of it has ever been the same since. Every part of my body has changedâfrom my hair to my chest to the size of my feet.
For the last few years, I have refused to wear shorts or anything above my knee. Someone made an ugly comment about my legs one time years ago, and Iâve never been able to forget it. I made an excuse every time I was invited to a pool party and I declined countless invitations because I didnât like the way I looked. We havenât had family pictures take in five years or more, and itâs because I donât want to be in them. Thatâs awful to actually type out, but Iâm putting it out there, because itâs true, and maybe someone out there needs to feel less alone too.
I have missed out on so much of my life because I have been handcuffed to body insecurity.
I donât want to do that anymore.
Life is good.
Life is beautiful.
Life is fun.
Life is fleeting.
I donât want to miss whatever I have left, so Iâm making peace with my bodyâhead to toeâand I hope you will too.
Your body is good. Itâs from God, after all, and he never makes a mistake.
Love,
Amy
