31/05/2026
Years ago my yoga teacher inspired me with the phrase, “Don’t should all over yourself.” I took this phrase to heart and decided to eradicate “should” and “supposed to” from my vernacular. My kids rarely, if ever, hear those words from me. My inner self never hears those words even when I’m in high inner judge mode. These words often come from someone else’s small self (or your own) and go quietly but carry a big measuring stick. Recently, I had someone should all over me around artistic self-expression. I hear so little and deflect these words so often that when the person said it, at first I felt so far removed from the phrase, “women are supposed to…you are supposed to…” it was almost like I didn’t understand what they were saying. Then the guilt set in, and then a slight tinge of unworthiness. A little grief for the small part connected to “what’s-wrong-with-me” and then for the person who said it, and believes this to be true. Luckily, five minutes later, out the door, driving down the road, playing “32 Flavors” by Ani D and “Pedestrian at Best” by Courtney Barnett, i was centered in my joy again, free from constraint of other people and their opinions of what I should and shouldn’t do. I decide my worthiness. I hope you too remember this folks—there are 100 other ways to kindly and clearly make your point without “shoulding” on others. And if you are the one who someone has “should” on, remember that word is more about the other’s pain and self-judgement. It has nothing to do with you. Onward, friends. 🫡
