Rulene Jansen Therapy

01/08/2026

01/08/2026

You want to rest.

But first, apparently, you need approval from:
Your guilt. Your productivity trauma. Your imaginary manager. Your childhood programming.

The ghost of everyone who ever called you lazy.

So THAT’S why you do that.

Some people struggle to rest because rest feels undeserved unless everything is done, everyone is happy, and nobody can accuse them of needing too much. Rest becomes something to earn instead of something the body requires.

Healing asks you to practise permitting yourself before exhaustion forces it.
Rest is not a reward for becoming empty. It is part of staying whole.

Save this if you still feel guilty for having normal human limits.

31/07/2026

You had one normal interaction. One.

Now you need silence, snacks, a blanket, and possibly a small cave.

So THAT’S why you do that.

Emotional hangovers can happen when an interaction takes more from your system than it looks like from the outside. Maybe you were performing. Maybe you were scanning. Maybe you were holding back. Maybe you were managing someone’s mood. Maybe you were trying to seem fine.

The event may be over, but your nervous system is still processing the cost. This is why recovery time matters. Not because you are weak. Because your system is doing the after-admin.

30/07/2026

Your mouth says, “Sure, that’s fine.”

Your stomach says, “Absolutely not.”

Your shoulders say, “We have concerns.”

Your jaw has already formed a committee.

So THAT’S why you do that.
The body often notices misalignment before the mind admits it. This can happen when you have trained yourself to be reasonable, agreeable, available, or “not difficult.” But the body keeps the receipt. Tension, tightness, dread, fatigue, irritation, and sudden shutdown can all be signals.
Not always final answers. But signals. Healing includes learning to listen before your body has to shout.

Save this if your body has ever voted no while your mouth said yes.

29/07/2026

You are washing dishes.

Suddenly your brain says: “Let’s prepare for a conversation that may never happen with a person who has not said anything yet.”

Fantastic!

Now you are defending yourself in the kitchen like it is a courtroom drama.

So THAT’S why you do that.

Future argument rehearsal can be the mind’s way of trying to feel prepared. If you have felt misunderstood, blamed, cornered, or powerless before, the brain may practise responses to prevent being caught off guard again.
It is protection. But it is also exhausting.
Sometimes the most regulating question is:
“Is this preparation, or am I putting my body through a conversation that is not happening?”

Save this if you have ever won an argument in your head and still felt tired afterwards.

28/07/2026

You lower your expectations before anyone else can disappoint you.

You expect the cancellation. You prepare for the let-down. You tell yourself it probably will not happen anyway.

Very efficient.
Very protective.
Also very sad.

So THAT’S why you do that.

If hope has been followed by disappointment too many times, the system may start reducing hope to reduce pain. It feels safer to expect less.
That way, nothing can catch you off guard.

But healing does not demand blind optimism. It asks for honest hope with boundaries. The kind that says, “I can want this, and I can still take care of myself if it does not happen.”

27/07/2026

You need support. Disgusting...

Now you must act extremely casual and independent so nobody suspects you are a human being with needs.

So THAT’S why you do that.

“I don’t need anything” can become a costume.
It may protect you from disappointment. From feeling like a burden. From being vulnerable. From asking and not receiving. From needing someone who may not show up.

But needing support is human.
The work is not to collapse into helplessness. The work is to let safe people meet you in small, honest ways.

Save this if needing something has ever felt like arriving overdressed at vulnerability.

26/07/2026

Your soul briefly exits the building!

The phone rings unexpectedly.
Someone knocks.
A message arrives with “Can we talk?”
Your soul briefly exits the building!

So THAT’S why you do that.

Unexpected contact can activate the body when your system associates surprise with pressure, conflict, bad news, or needing to perform immediately. It is not always the sound itself.
It is what the sound might mean.
A demand. A problem. A confrontation. A person needing something from you.

The body reacts before the mind has checked the facts. Healing begins in that tiny pause where you remind your system:
“Let’s find out what this is before we become a whole emergency.”

Save this if your nervous system has ever been personally attacked by a ringtone.

25/07/2026

Someone invites you somewhere.

Before you answer, your system calculates:
How much energy will this cost? Who will be there?
How long must I be “on”? Can I leave early?
Will I need two business days to recover? Is there parking? Will anyone ask me how I really am?

So THAT’S why you do that.

Social plans can carry an emotional tax when your system has been overloaded for too long.

It is not always about being antisocial. Sometimes your body is doing capacity maths.

Healing includes learning the difference between avoiding life and respecting your current capacity.

Both can look similar. The body usually knows the difference before the calendar does.

24/07/2026

You receive a message.

Your nervous system says, “We need witnesses.”
So naturally, you screenshot it and send it to someone with: “Am I being dramatic?”
“Is this weird?”
“What does this mean?”
“Read this exactly and tell me if I’m losing my mind.”

So THAT’S why you do that.

Sometimes this is not gossip. It is reassurance-seeking. Your system may struggle to trust its own interpretation because past experiences taught you to doubt your reality.

Getting another person’s view can feel stabilising.

The deeper work is slowly rebuilding self-trust.
Not never asking for input. Just needing fewer witnesses to believe your own body.