Bernice Schilling - Mind Activation Specialist

19/08/2026

13/11/2025

Letter from Hypertension

Hello my Friend,

It’s been a while since you found out I’ll be sharing your life.
I am very invasive and, I don’t always appear in your everyday life. The people around you can’t see or hear me, but your body can. I can attack you anywhere and in any way you can imagine. Like a headache or a little blurry vision or some chest pain for fun.
Remember when you had high energy and had so much fun! Well sometimes I share your energy and leave you exhausted. I can make you sleepy, confused, or I can cause insomnia. I can cause pulsations in your neck, heart palpitations, even nose bleeds. I am like a silent disease in your body

I am very complicated….

I can make you feel extremely anxious or create panic attacks if I really want to have a little extra fun. Do you remember the sudden mood changes….yip that was me….sad for no reason……me…..upset for no reason…me.

I have no limits or boundaries.

The irony is that it was you that invited me in.
You can be so confused about how to go about finding happiness and the stress in your family life has left you feeling unsafe and now you do not know when to be on guard and when to relax.
You could not set clear boundaries. When you felt powerless in your circumstances or controlled by your circumstances, your suppressed anger often surfaced to express boundaries. All the pressure that you have put on yourself to be better than before has opened the door for me to come in.

You don’t know this, because it’s buried very deep but you have made a negative connection with love and if you do not grief the lack of love you sometimes feel and stop resenting the chaotic circumstances that life has presented to you in the past, well then I might just stay a little longer.

You are blind to the simple fact that I can stay as long as I want, or until you learn to stop doing all of these things. Instead you choose activities like walking or exercising to get me out, but that will only calm me down. I know you started treatments and check-ups to get rid of me, but they only help me relax.

Here is a tip, if you do not allow people to support you or you keep on inviting the wrong kind of love in, that feels so good, but inside they are just a safe option to keep you from expressing your true feelings, then I can also make your cholesterol high, or just make you feel so tired that your friends and family will become tired of hearing how bad you feel day after day. But they don’t know that I deplete your energy. Energy that your body and mind need daily to carry out activities.

They won’t understand you because I attack your body from the tips of your hair to the tips of your toes.
So don’t stop the pills you are taking every morning, as they relax your blood vessels that I like to tense up. Although I don’t really like them that much, but I know it makes you feel better.
If only you could see that your self-criticism and the pressure you put on yourself, leaves you feeling vulnerable and raw.

Lots of Love

Hypertension

13/11/2025

Why Your Relationship Changes After Commitment

(And How to Stay in Your True Masculine or Feminine Role)

You know that electric, effortless phase when you first start dating? Everything flows. You’re confident, grounded, and fully you. Then… commitment happens. And suddenly, the vibe shifts. One of you starts chasing. The other pulls away. What went wrong?
Nothing is broken. You’re just slipping out of your true masculine or feminine role—and into old patterns you didn’t even know you had.
________________________________________
What Does “True Masculine/Feminine Role” Actually Mean?
It’s not about gender. It’s about energy—the roles we naturally play when we’re secure, whole, and happy within ourselves.

True Masculine/Feminine Role Out of Role (Wounded Energy)
* Puts own happiness first * Ties joy to partner’s mood
* Self-sufficient & content * Needs constant reassurance
* Shares dreams, doesn’t build * Puts partner on a pedestal
life around partner
* Attracts & inspires * Chases & controls

A person in their true role doesn’t carry anyone else’s happiness. They invite a partner to walk beside them—not behind or ahead.

Why the Shift Happens After Commitment
Your brain doesn’t see “boyfriend/girlfriend.” It sees “family.”
The moment you picture a future together, your subconscious pulls up every file labeled “How relationships should work”—straight from childhood.
• Dad was distant → You over-give to “earn” love.
• Mom was controlling → You monitor texts to feel safe.
• Past partner ghosted → You change yourself to “fit.”
These aren’t conscious choices. They’re survival strategies from unhealed wounds.

The Chasing Trap: How It Shows Up
You Do This
* Check when they’re online
Subconscious Fear
* “What if I’m not enough?”
Partner Feels
* Watched, trapped

You do this.
* Scroll their socials daily
Subconscious Fear
* “Who else are they talking to?”
Partner Feels
* Invaded

You do this.
* Change your likes to match theirs
Subconscious Fear
*“Will they leave if I’m too different?”
Partner Feels
* Inauthenticity

You do this
* Over-give, over-text, over-plan
Subconscious Fear
* “If I do more, they’ll stay”
Partner Feels
* Smothered

Chasing = Running. The more you pursue, the faster they retreat. Not because they don’t care—but because your energy screams: “I need you to fix me.”
_
The Pasta Metaphor (Yes, Really)
Imagine eating pasta with a friend: relaxed, enjoyable. Now imagine eating it after 6 days lost in the desert. Same pasta. Totally different energy.
That’s neediness vs. desire. When you’re emotionally starved (from childhood or past relationships), even normal affection feels like starvation. You devour it. And your partner? They feel consumed.

The Pedestal Problem
Ever put your partner on a pedestal? Congrats—you just became their fan. And fans don’t get reciprocity. They get autographs, not partnership.
Celebrities don’t date their fans. They perform for them.

How to Stay in Your True Role (And Attract the Same)
1. Heal the Root
Ask: “Where did I learn I had to earn love?”
Journal it. Therapy it. Feel it. Release it.
2. Fill Your Own Cup Your happiness is your job.
Build the business. Chase the dream. Dance alone in your kitchen. A full cup overflows—it doesn’t drain others.
3. Stop Carrying Their Emotions
Their bad day ≠ your failure. Their silence ≠ your rejection.
4. Trust,
Don’t Chase Magnetism attracts. Control repels.

The Truth No One Says
If you’re not in your true role, you’ll either:
• Attract someone who needs to be fixed, or
• Push a healthy partner away—because you changed the energy.
They didn’t “change.” You triggered the shift.

Your Invitation
Next time you feel the urge to text again, check their Instagram, or “fix” their mood—pause.
Ask:
“Am I acting from love… or from fear?”
Choose love. Choose you. And watch how the right person stops running— and starts walking with you.

P.S. If you’re exhausted from holding it all together, it’s not burnout. It’s your soul saying:
“Come home to yourself.”
You don’t need to earn love. You need to remember you already are it.
Save this. Share it. Live it.

28/04/2025

The highest intimacy we can find is neither touch or or**sm, it is comprehension.

There is nothing more intimate than to be understood as well as understanding one another and having our intellectual and imaginative faculties completely aligned and met. The most beautiful thing about a person is never in the what we can see, feel or otherwise sense with our bodies. But it is what we can sense with our minds and hearts.

To be so completely understood in the depth of our being like no other can offer. That is true intimacy. That is the basis for tremendous growth. We have to be able to dive deep together in consciousness for our intimacy to reach incredible heights.

Otherwise we will plateau in our partnerships and not keep rising. This is when one or both partners outsources their thoughts and feelings to a third party in order to have unmet needs met and this is when intimacy fails.

Seek not so much someone who entices the eye, but seek someone who entices the mind.
Who ignites your search for intellectual riches and go in search of someone who shows not only deep compassion, but also deep comprehension.

There is no greater intimacy than that of two people who can unravel mysteries together that nobody else could even comprehend with either of them.

This is when the spiritual heart feels fulfilled. She may be stunning and yes that is lovely,
but her beautiful mind is something I treasure more than a set of gorgeous eyes and a perfect body. A mind able and willing to travel beyond the frontiers of human consciousness as we expand past the firmament, now that is a whole other level of sexy.~

~ Ulf Haukenes

08/10/2024

THE PERFECT STORM - Bernice Schilling
The Perfect Storm by Bernice Schilling is a compelling call to action for women trapped in unfulfilling relationships. In this eye-opening guide, she reveals the essential secrets to breaking free from toxic patterns and finding true happiness and love.
She fearlessly delves into the heart of male behavior, exposing the reasons behind their initial romantic gestures and subsequent changes.
In her bold and insightful style, she addresses why nice girls always get taken for granted by men and offers practical advice on breaking this destructive cycle.
In her book, she uses relatable real-life scenarios and shares her journey from abuse to freedom to empower women to understand what drives men to fall in love. She also sheds light on the damaging effects of trauma bonding and exposes the dangerous loyalty that keeps women trapped in toxic relationships.
THE AUTHOR
Bernice Schilling is an experienced professional in kinesiology, writing, teaching, motivational speaking, and intuitive healing. With over 20 years of experience in business management, marketing, finance, analytics, and psychology, she is dedicated to helping individuals unlock their full potential and achieve success in their personal and professional lives.
She emphasizes scientifically proven methods to enhance the mind and body, leading to increased opportunities and improved well-being. With a strong understanding of the human mind and body, she has positioned herself as a top personal development and transformational coach. Through her extensive one-on-one coaching, she has helped individuals from diverse backgrounds overcome self-sabotage and embrace their uniqueness. Additionally, she has extensively researched the mind-body connection and shares her expertise through her website at www.curetheroot.com. The website provides valuable insights and resources for improving overall quality of life. Her website is an invaluable resource for individuals seeking to improve their emotional well-being, mental health, and physical functioning.
ORDER HERE https://nskrywershuis.co.za/product/the-perfect-storm/
ISBN 978-1-0370-1009-5

I guide people from money stress to financial freedom by blending financial coaching with wellness; mindset & emotional trauma release. Break old patterns; create new habits & live with wealth; balance & confidence.