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Olipa-The Mental Health Advocate., Lusaka, town, Lusaka (2026)

15/05/2026

It been the first friday since the new academic term commenced, it was an open day in most of the schools. On this particular day, schools have an activity that is the collection of the report books/forms to indicate the performance of the children for the previous term.
I remember very well how intense this day used to be like when l was growing up, mum could walk with me as well as meeting other parents with their children heading to different schools to collect the report books. The returning was not as smooth as it used to be when going especially when the results were not as expected. Thoughts 💭 could be lingering in my mind if l was going to eat or l will be given some sweet beatings😢😂.

This reminds me of the counselling session I had, a mother and a father walks into my office shaking their heads and the mother shouting at the child, I noted that there was tension. As they sat down, I heard a comment by the father and l quote”my child cannot get these results because my child is brilliant and he’s at home. While,these results clearly are your child’s”.Allow me to explain what this meant, the father denys that this child with poor results is not his but the wife’s,because his child whose academic performs is good is at home. I then quickly calmed the situation as we dived into the whole matter to understand what was happening.

The father explained to me that the child’s performance at school is bad and the results can stand as a testament, the mother further added that the brother who is younger than him is doing better than him despite taking him to a well recommended private school and so they feel he can never amount up to anything. At this point, the child dropped a tear as a result of the remarks made by the father. The reaction of the child, communicated brokenness and fear of trying again. However, I reassured the child that failure is not your identity but rather a sign that you can do better than this.

I therefore highlighted some causes of underperformance at school which could be as a result of peer pressure,lack of interest in academic work, it could be that the child is nursing hidden wounds that you as parents may not be aware of BUT clearly in this case,the child’s poor academic performance were strongly linked to constant comparison by parents and emotional torture coming from the parents.When children are repeatedly compared to siblings or peers the following happens to them:

Their self-esteem drops,they lose confidence in their abilities,motivation to learn decreases,anxiety increases and social withdrawal becomes common.

Let’s embrace the fact that every child is unique.Children grow at different paces, with different strengths and talents. Comparison does not inspire growth it creates pressure and emotional harm.

To the parents and guardians out there,Instead of comparing your child to others, compare their progress to who they were yesterday. Encourage effort, celebrate small wins, and offer unconditional support.

A supported child thrives.
Let’s raise children with confidence, emotional safety, and a love for learning.

Olipa- Mental Health counsellor and Advocate.

13/05/2026

Creating a Safe Space to Feel, Heal, and Release.

In counselling, creating a conducive environment is not a luxury it is a necessity.
Healing begins when a client feels safe enough to express what has been buried inside for too long.

Crying is not a sign of weakness. It is a natural, healthy release of sorrow, pain, grief, and emotional weight. When clients are allowed to cry freely, without judgment or interruption, they begin to reconnect with their true emotions and start the healing process.

In my journey as a counselor, my role is to Provide a safe, confidential, and non-judgmental space.Allow emotions to flow naturally,Listen with empathy, not urgency.Sit with pain, not rush it away.

Sometimes, the most powerful therapy is simply being present while someone releases years of unspoken pain through tears.

Your feelings are valid. Your tears are welcome. Your healing matters.

’sOkayToCry

24/04/2026

This weekend, take a moment to slow down.

Life can get overwhelming, and it’s okay to pause. Rest is not a luxury it’s a necessity. Whether it’s stepping outside for fresh air, listening to your favorite music, or simply doing nothing for a while, give your mind the break it deserves.

Self introspection very important😎
-Have you been too hard on yourself lately?
-When last did you truly relax without guilt?
-What small thing can you do today just for *you*?

Remember, you don’t have to have everything figured out. Take things one step at a time, one breath at a time.

Be kind to your mind this weekend.

15/04/2026

From my experience in counselling, I have observed that many individuals who survive a su***de attempt and are on the path to recovery often face a slow healing process—not because they don’t want to heal, but because of the environment around them.

Sadly, the people closest to them, these could be relatives and friends, sometimes become part of the challenge instead of being beacon of hope. They add on to making the environment unbearable,toxic and unfriendly to recover. They creat an atmosphere of
Judgement instead of understanding,Condemnation instead of compassion and Blame instead of support.

Statements like “you are weak,”how could you resort to attempting su***de? “you embarrassed the family,”how will society consider or respect our family? You are a disappointment to the family 😭😭‘’pray harder” you may speak it unintentionally and may seem small, but they deeply affect the recovery process. Healing requires safety, patience, and empathy, not shame.

Another major challenge is the lack of access to professional counselling. Mental health recovery is not something someone can simply “snap out of.” It needs trained support, guidance, and continuous care just like physical illness where you visit the Hospital/ Clinch for Medical attention and care.

The question is,What helps recovery?
•Listening without judging
• Offering emotional support
• Encouraging professional counselling
•Creating a safe and supportive home environment

To families and communities: your words and actions matter. You can either slow someone’s healing or help save a life.

Let us change the narrative.
Mental health struggles are not a sin, a weakness, or a failure.
They are a call for understanding, care, and professional help.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional.
Checking up on each other can save lives.

I remain your mental health counselor and advocate.

14/04/2026

Mental health is everyone’s business.

In my beautiful country Zambia, we believe in ubuntu — looking out for one another.

Let’s make it a habit to check up on our friends, family, neighbours, and workmates.Most people suffer silently.A simple “uli shani?” or “how are you really doing?” can save a life.

Speak up. Listen without judging.
We heal better when we care for each other.

I remain your mental health counselor and advocate.

12/04/2026

In counselling, communication begins before a client even speaks. As counsellors, we carefully observe certain non-verbal cues that help us understand the client’s emotional, psychological, and physical state. These observations are never used to judge—but to guide care, empathy, and support.

Allow me to share with you the five key things counsellors observe when a client comes into the office:

1.Clothing Colour & Fit

The color of clothes and whether they fit properly can offer important clues.
Very dark or dull colours may reflect low mood or emotional distress.
Bright colours may indicate positive mood or high energy.
Poorly fitting, dirty, or neglected clothing may suggest depression, stress, poverty, trauma, or reduced self-care.

This helps the counsellor understand how the client may be coping with life.

2.The Walk (Gait)

How a client walks into the room matters.
Slow, heavy steps may show sadness, exhaustion, or emotional burden.
Restless or hurried walking may suggest anxiety or agitation.
Confident walking may indicate emotional stability or readiness to engage.

The body often speaks before the mouth does.

3. Smell

Odour can sometimes provide sensitive but important information.for example,Strong alcohol smell may indicate substance use.
Poor hygiene may point to depression, neglect, homelessness, or illness.Unusual smells may alert the counsellor to health or safety concerns.

This observation is handled with respect and confidentiality.

4. Tone of Voice During Greeting

The way a client responds to a simple “Good morning” can reveal a lot.A low, flat tone may indicate sadness or emotional withdrawal.A shaky voice may show fear or anxiety.
An aggressive tone may signal anger, frustration, or defensiveness.

Tone helps the counsellor decide how to approach the session gently and effectively.

5.Eye Contact

Eye contact gives insight into emotional comfort and trust.Avoiding eye contact may indicate shame, trauma, anxiety, or low self-esteem.Excessive staring may suggest anger or emotional intensity.
Balanced eye contact often shows openness and readiness to engage.

Cultural background is always considered when interpreting eye contact.

In my practice as a counselor,These observations have helped me in handling different cases successfully. I understand the client better, create a safe environment, and choose the right approach for healing.
Counselling is not about judging it is about listening, observing, and supporting.

.
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I remain your mental health counselor and advocate.

26/02/2026

MEN AND MENTAL HEALTH: THE SILENT STRUGGLE .

Today in Zambia, a man climbed a tower in an attempt to end his life. It was a sad sight to behold. This heartbreaking moment is not just an incident it is a mirror of a deeper crisis many men are facing in silence.

For too long, men have been taught to “be strong,” “man up,” and handle things alone.
As a result, men’s mental health is often ignored, avoided, neglected, minimized and most often misunderstood. Their physical appearing of masculine does not exclude them from experiencing mental challenges and emotional breakdown. They are as human as the female gender.
Despite the lebaling by society, they are not immune to pain. Unspoken pain that keeps accumulating within an individual leads to incidents such as the one witnessed today.

Men carry heavy burdens:
• Financial pressure
• Family responsibilities
• Relationship struggles
• Unemployment and social expectations(living upto the expectations of the society)
• Trauma and unspoken pain( people will consider him weak if he expresses his pain).

Yet when men struggle, they are often told to stay quiet.

Mental health does not discriminate by gender.
Men feel pain. Men get overwhelmed. Men break too.

How can men be helped?

•By creating safe spaces where men can talk without judgment
•By normalizing men seeking therapy and counseling
•By teaching boys that emotions are not weakness
•By encouraging men to speak before the pain becomes unbearable
•By listening not fixing, mocking, or dismissing

To every man reading this:
You don’t have to suffer alone.
Speaking out is not weakness it is strength.
Your life matters. Your story matters.

Let’s start checking on the men around us.
A conversation can save a life.

If this message speaks to you, please share.
Someone may be silently crying for help.

Creating a safe space for mens mental health.

13/02/2026

While scrolling on the blue App, I came across this sad, and heart breaking story of a child who was sexually abused by four boys.
Facts of the story are that on the 9th of February 2025,the victim was sexually abused by four boys taking turns.
The girl had hidden what transpired on that fateful day from the guardians. After the cousine noticed of her withdraw and silence the cousin managed to break the ice and told the guardian of what had happened to the girl,who later reported the matter to the authority and legal action took hold of the case.

Facts to consider:
>The girl had hidden what transpired.
>Even after disclosing what happened , she decided to conceal the identify of the culprits,(there were strange men who came and requested that she gives them a K1,000, claiming that they were sent by the guardian, upon telling them that there was no money left for such, the culprits then dragged her into the unfinished buildng and defiled her)it was after further questioning that she revealed who defiled her,(the girl had a boyfriend who had three friends, the four took advantage of her sexually).

Many peope have focused on the girl having a boyfriend at the age of 13, the blue App is currently filled with words of condemnation and judgement calling her all sorts of names.
While, l do appriciatiate the fact that at her age she should concetrate on her peogress with school work, analysing which career pathways to take and building positve relationships to help her achieve her dreams.
However, we need not to forget that her age group(adolescents )fights with what Is called peer pressure,group influence and trying to fit in. This stage is refered to as ldentity vs Confusion. At this stage a child needs proper, purposed and deliberate guidance from parents/guardians and teachers.

The questions that linger in my mind are:
1.How can a child of 13 years of age NOT willfully open up to the guardian?
2.How then can she decide to hide the identity of culprits?
3. What call to Action should be put in place to help the child navigate through this situation.

Walk with me as we positively analyse this case
and help the child face life again with confidence and mental wellbeing.

WHY THE 13 YEAR-OLD GIRL FEARED OPENING UP.

Despite knowing the perpetrators, the girl decided to remain closed up. When a child is defiled, silence is not a choice but a survival response. Her silence, can be understood through several mental health and social factors:

1. Fear of blame and punishment.
At this point the child is afraid of being blamed, judged and condemned. Questions such as why did you have a boyfriend? Why did you follow them? And as such,a child will believe that nothing she will say will be understood but rather rejected.

2.Fear of Breaking family or Community Trust.
The first response community responds with in such a case is:
>shaming the family, for not bringing her up in the right way.
>Causing conflict between or among the families
>Being seeing as a causer of the problem.

3. Emotional Manipulation.
>It’s possible that the girl could have been threatened to be killed or any of her family members.
>The perpetrators convinced the girl that she is at fault.

4. Shock, Trauma and Confusin.
> The child was in a confused state by failing to comprehend what happened.
>The chid might have experienced emotional numbness.

5. Lack of Safe Emotional Space.
It is possible that the child did not feel safe and comfortable opening up to the relatives simply because she has never had a platform to express emotions openly, from this she learns that speaking up is unsafe.

This case highlights a painful truth. Many children often remain silent not because they want to protect pertrators but because they are protecting themselves from fear, shame and abandonment.

In this case, healing must be child centered,the goal should not only be justice for her but most importantly restoring her mental and emotional well-being. This can be achievable through:

• Providing Emotional Safe Space.
She must be assured clearly that she is not to blame and that she did nothing wrong. It is also right that the child is removed from the environment where she feels threatened.

•Professional Trauma Counseling. A trained child psychologist should help her to:
>process fear, anxiety and guilt.
>Reduce a long term mental health risks such as depression or PTSD.
>Help the child Regain self confidence and self Control.

•Family and Teachers (caregivers)
>Are to listen more than speak.
>Avoid judgement,anger or blaming language

Mental Health support for survivors of defilement must not be treated as an option, it is essential.
Healing the mind is as just as important as addressing the crime.

Olipa-your mental health counselor and advocate.
Your mental wellbeing is my priority.

09/02/2026

Day 1 of 7 On Self Awareness.

Self awareness allows you to recognize your thoughts,emotions,strengths and weaknesses. You embrace your physically appearance with confidence and boldly appear among many. When you understand and accept yourself better, you make choices that align with who you truly are. You live a life free from comparisons, pressure and competition.

When you do not take time to know and understand who you are, you might end up absorbing someone else’s definition of you.

Knowing yourself is the foundation of mental wellbeing.

I remain your mental health advocate and counselor.

07/02/2026

One of the key elements in mental health, is Self Awareness.
Self awareness is the ability to understand oneself,it’s about self discovery and self exploration into one’s character and personality traits.

Olipa-The Mental Health Advocate.

15/05/2026

13/05/2026

24/04/2026

15/04/2026

14/04/2026

12/04/2026

26/02/2026

13/02/2026

09/02/2026

07/02/2026

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