21/11/2023
Parenting is about what we do, not about what our children do. Sometimes a strong, loving leadership presence will bring push back, or big feelings, or big behaviour, and thatās okay. Thatās how children and teens discover the power of their ānoā, where the limits are, how to manage big feelings, and that their feelings and opinions matter. But this will take time. Lots of time.
Being a āgood parentā was never meant to be about having children who are always obedient, or who bury their feelings, or who never test their limits. It was never meant to be about that. Thatās an agenda that works for adults who wants things to be easy, but it doesnāt work for raising humans.
Raising big, beautiful, brave, strong humans from little ones takes time. Sometimes it stings. Sometimes it makes us want to scream, or hide, or roll our eyes. Sometimes (many times) our children will want to do the same.
We need to let go of measuring parenting based on the observable behaviour of our children. Because so often, when weāre getting it so right, it will look like and feel like weāre getting it so wrong. Parenting can be confusing like that. Itās about what we do, not what they do. Itās about being the loving, caretaking, leadership presence in their lives. Itās about being their āIām hereā person enough times, so youāll be their influence and their āgo-toā person when it matters.ā„ļø